I've been at a loss for words many times before but now it's either move on, or swallow my pride I let my insecurities take control for too long They've made me grow distant, caused me to lie I've realized envy is not attractive in the least its lead me astray, and brought so much guilt I acted out in anger, often gave you no reason grew something so beautiful then left it to wilt It wasn't any fault of your own that we're here I've asked questions and you hesitantly replied I should've known it would bring out my worst left me with a complacent facade to hide behind I've wished to be the only one you've lived for to have been the first to have held you close but it seems I'm just the runner up this time when you weren't enough for the one you chose I've never before held weight of being second best sometimes it seems too heavy a load for my heart I cant stop the animosity from building each day but its even harder to imagine us growing apart I've often wondered whats so special about her why every time you speak her name you look away if this is fate or to you just the other choice and if you ever wished that she would have stay |