Sheeding my Skin -part 1

Flames of light, swirling motion of intensifying flickering colors. They amplify and compound with a ringing sound...until I wake up with a pulsating headache. The rain knocks on my window like an uninvited neighbor. Pulling my comforter apart from my body I am drawn to my kitchen to fix myself some coffee to saturate my zombie form into a butterfly in spring. As I swirl my spoon to mix the sugar at the base of my mug I begin to daze into deep thought. I ponder about my life and where I stand today; whether I had lived up to my own expectations. Had my life quantified into a mountain or had I dug into it and landed on its bottom?
My thoughts are broken by my phone vibrating on my table, I read the call display its from my best friend Joanna.
“ Hey Joanna” I exclaimed, trying to act surprised.
“We really need to talk about.. you know, can we meet up at Java Place around three?” she said in her usual perky voice.
“ Of course, yeah we should talk” I smirked as I realized how much emphasis I had put on the word talk.
“Ok I'll see you the-n” she said as I abruptly hung up.
I looked at the clock on my cell phone noted that I had a couple of hours before my meeting with Joanna. I felt sort of uneasy about seeing her even though it was not me but her who had some explaining to do. I hadn't talked to Joanna in about three weeks and I had become contemplating the turn of events that led to this profound major sabotage that I had felt in every corner of my heart.
I go back in my mind to the time that we met and I wonder how strange it is that despite our differences we had been friends for almost 2 years now. Joanna was sassy fun girl who loved the party scene and was extroverted as sun which shines on everyone. Whereas I was more down to earth, introverted like the rain that chooses where to pour its wealth. Even though what she did was not all not huge I felt confused on whether I should trust after all she did need me more than I need her. The only reason that I felt so hurt was because I never let anyone 'in' into my motives and desires other than her. It felt like the friendship had sailed into more grayer waters. So I thought about putting an end to this misery of my best friend stealing my ideas and making them her own. Sounds like plagiarism but was not as my ideas were not presented in any form except my thoughts. What could be worse to an upcoming writer then having your thoughts taken away from you? Was I blowing this out of proportion, was I breaking something already fixed?
I looked back on the clock it was 2:45 pm and I decided to have this talk with Joanna and see if anything she said justify what she did. I parked my car outside Java Place and found Joanna, and gave her a light hug.
“I am so glad you came, Celeste” Joanna exclaimed.
“Yeah, I thought I should. I needed to hear what you had to say” I said
“ Look, I didn't mean to hurt you, I didn't think it mean so much if I used your ideas for that stupid paper for Dr. Hoffing's Class. I mean I thought writing was just a hobby for you since you are majoring in Biology” Joanna said in a mild tone.
“ Well, I am in that class but I don't mean to sound like a perfectionist but I wish you could have told me since every mark counts if I want to get into medical school” I exclaimed.
“Let's just forgive each other and call it a day” Joanna exclaimed.
I nodded in consensus, my eyes wandered towards Brandon a guy I was really good friends with recently and had begun to have a major crush on. I planned to never to tell him because of course he never felted the same. I wondered if any guy would look past my intimidating yet intellectual persona. The only time me and Brandon spent together was cramming for midterms and such. I wondered if he ever noticed me any other time of the year. I looked away in matter of a nanosecond as our eyes locked for about a second as I felt an intense burst of electricity work its way from my head down.
Joanna noticed me drift away from her and she also noticed my distraction.
“ I didn't know you liked him, you should tell him” said Joanna quietly.
“NO, I can-nt, he wouldn't get it. It would be a great way to scare him off” I said nervously as I fiddled with my hair.
“Do you want me to tell him for you!” Joanna said excitedly.
“ No,no you can't do that. You are never, I mean never going to speak about this to Anyone! Ok?” I said wishing I could disappear in my seat.
“ Okay, relax I wont say anything. Promise” said Joanna calmly.
I felt Brandon's steps advance towards our table and adrenaline sparked inside my body. I felt the necessity to get away from there as soon as possible.
“Umm, I just remembered something, I gotta go” I said frantically.
As I walked towards my car I felt so tangled up in my emotions and wished I hold just shrink and shrivel up like the autumn leaves I stepped on as I got into my car and drove home. I knew what I did was so automated of me to get out of there soon as I sensed danger. My logic was the longer I stayed away from Brandon the easier I could organized my feelings and make sense of my world.

__________________________END OF PART 1____________________________