Visions of.....(2)

~ Celeste~

Ok, sitting in my room, staring at the ceiling is doing a whole lot of nothing. But I can' t wrap my brain around any of this. What the hell happened? People just don't randomly die and then disappear.........do they?

(Looks at picture of Celeste and Allen from when they were little)

*sigh* “Where are you Allen? Why can't things just be the way they were.....?"

(Noticing tears forming behind her eyes, she unintentionally starts shouting)

“Before we got transferred to this school! Before we moved into this boarding house! Before we grew up and saw the world for what it is!" (At this point she's sobbing)

Tears are pouring down off my face; I don't make any attempt to stop them. It's like so many hidden feelings about this were stuck behind a brick wall, and Allen's "death" was the stick of dynamite that just blew it up.


Well, crying helped, I feel a little better now. Why can't things go back to the way they were? Is it possible to undo what’s been done? All this is sort of reminding me of this poem I found in a journal when I was exploring in this boarding house's attic :

Sometimes I wonder/
What exactly do they mean/
Some of the greatest answers/
Can never be seen? /

How do I listen without my ears? /
Or see without my eyes? /
Like that will I ever know/
If there's an answer in disguise? /

I'm guessing that was written a long time ago, judging that on the last end paper of the book, someone had written "November, 1915". Who knows, anyone could have just written that because they thought it was important. I looked at the journal on my desk suspiciously. Could it really tell me something about this?

Yeah right! This isn't like one of those movies where someone by chance just "happens" to find something that unlocks this amazing, melodramatic mystery. And then just "happens" to have their fate suddenly intertwined in it. Some coincidence, I'll give it that. Real life doesn't work like that......does it?

(Looks out window and is startled - thinks to herself)

How long has that owl been staring at me?