Mercy

It was crystal clear and foul smelling.
She loved it though.
The effect.
The way it hid her pain and unwanted emotions.
I couldn't help but wonder if she loved it more than me.

The process consumed her --the ritual.
Unscrewing the shiny blue cap from the bottle.
Pouring the rancid liquid into the little chilled cup.
The cup that held her weak soul within its chipped edges.

She became a different person.
Full of hate and resentment.
Yet I held on to my hope ....
And my belief that one day things would change for the better.

Everytime she brought that demon to her parched lips........
She drank down a piece of my soul with it.
I was no longer myself.....
But a person broken and ravaged by this monster.
By this thing.....
This liquid hate......

It blinded her.
And it hindered any ability she might have had at normalcy.
When she fell.....she didn't realize she'd broken seven ribs.
And while she prayed for death......
I floated above myself on an invisible cloud...
watching this shell of a person trying to function.
Tucking feelings behind an empty heart.
Suffering.
Trying to find the girl I used to be.
The one that had cared and felt.
And I had once....

It was obvious that I couldn't change her.
But I had to be me again.
And I am me....I've found me!

I will show you my battle scars.....
Because that only means that I survived.
The demon is no longer in me or my life......
Though he lurks in my shadows.
Looking to seduce me.
To tempt her.
If only once more.