Dark is Here: Tainted Spirit-Aiza

They Make Noises


Rated: G

Tainted Spirit
Part Two


Aiza



“Well I wanna watch Scare Face!” My dad declares.

“Well I want to watch Breakin all the Rules!” I counter.

“What? Don’t nobody wanna watch no Breakin all the Rules!” He goes.

“Nobody but you don’t wanna watch it!” I go. “You’re the only one that wants to watch Al Cacheno pretend to be Al Capone anyway!”

“That was all good acting no matter what nobody says.” He argues. “What did Jamie Foxx do in his movie, huh? Nothing but Act silly that’s what!”

“I think that’s why they call it comedy,” I point out. “It’s supposed to be funny.”

“Dad Scareface is such and old and withered movie nobody cares how good it used to be!” I hurt him with that one.

“What? Scareface is a classic!” He argues, “I was raised on Scareface.”

I lower my voice and start laughing my insults. “You was raised on Scareface? Dang so that’s why you look like that.” I laugh to make him angrier. “So when they make a movie about you, are they gonna call it Pimple? Then people can go around saying they was raised on Pimple!”

“Hey you know what? I’ve had enough dammit!” He picks up a butcher knife and comes at me. I’m still laughing as I pick up a steak knife and pretend to fight him. Me, my dad, and the other twenty members of my family laugh hysterically at the scene me and me dad just created in our living room.

“That was a good one with the Pimple joke baby.” My dad compliments.
“But why you gotta be so mean to me?”

“Thanks Daddy!” I say. “I don’t know, it just came out like that.”

“You just need to watch that backing.” He adds. “I told you not to turn your back to the audience when you-”

“What? I didn’t turn my back to the audience-” I argue.

“Baby yes you did, you-”

“No I did not, stay like this the whole time! You’re the good actor that had your back to the audience!”

“No I’m the good father trying to pass on his successful acting skills to his ungrateful daughter.”

“Yeah successful my butt; you could’ve tried to make a little more money.” I sass.

“What did you say you ungrateful, sorry little-”

“Takes one to know one ya big ol-”

We’re at each other’s faces until suddenly my dad can’t take it anymore. He and I both crack up with laughter and he scoops me up in his arms in front of our big laughing family. My mom smiles as she watches us from the kitchen doorway. I know she’s proud. We’re probably the only big family still wide-awake at one in the morning enjoying each other at a family reunion.

My dad puts me down and we bow for a big round of applause. I guess it is funny to see me and my dad pretend to argue. He’s so big and I’m so small, I guess it’s like watching a bear argue with a Chewelah.

Over the commotion I can barley hear the doorbell ring so I head for the front door. I wonder who it is at this hour in the morning. I make my way to the front of the house. Once I get to the front door I stand on my stool and peer out of the peephole. I hop down and open the door, not believing who’s out there.

“Jayneice! What’s up?” I ask. “What are you doing out this late?”

I’m both happy and surprised to see her and a little worried too because she’s never come to my house this late. She doesn’t look at me though, she stands there staring at the floor fiddling with her fingers and I automatically think someone has gotten hurt or worse.

“Aiza…” She goes in a low voice. “I-I-please-can you-help me-I-need to-I’m- dirty-I-have to get clean-I need-help me please-just-I need to get clean-I-”

Jayneice is doing that panic-speed-talking thing again. That means that this is a bad thing whatever it is. So bad it has her shaking in 76-degree weather. I step down and hug her tight. It helps to calm her down but I can still feel her shaking. I take both of her hands in mine and ask her as softly as I can, “Are you ok?”

She looks at me for a second and I see shame and sadness in her eyes and then stares at the ground again and slowly shakes her head. It makes me want to cry because I know something really bad has happened to her. And she’s too embarrassed to tell me about it.

“Come on.” I say. I put my hand on shoulder to lead her inside. My dad meets us at the door.

“Aiza I told you about answering the door at this time of ni-” He stops when he sees Jayneice. “Jayneice? Is everything ok? What happened?”

“No dad, she needs to spend the night dad ok?” I hope he knows this is serious and that I’m not trying to be rude. I lead her towards my room past my entire family who falls silent when they see her. I knew that was going to happen. Silence. I mean everybody shouts up. Then the whispers. I can hear some of them whispering, talking about how beautiful she is. “Who is that?” “She’s really beautiful...” “Is she famous?” “She must be a model.” “Dang, look at that hair.”

I guess I’m used to it but Jayneice makes you think about how angels might look in the bible. Sometimes I get complements from people. They might say nice hair, or tell me that I’m pretty. But to be honest there really is no competing with Jayneice. She like “naturally flawless”. I made that word up too.

My mom follows us into my room.

“Mom, Jayneice needs to spend the night. Is that ok?”
Mom nods and smiles. “Jayneice?” She says softly. “Is everything ok?”

Jayneice looks at my mom and says quietly “N-no ma’am…” Jayneice has good eyes that I’m also a little jealous of. Her eyes can tell you exactly how she’s feeling. They always seem to speak for her mood. My dad always said what makes a great actor or actress are good eyes that speak. She could be a really good actress or model. I think Jayneice’s eyes tell my mom all she needs to know because next mom asks softly, “Would you like to come and get cleaned up and we can just talk later?”

“Yes ma’am.” Jayneice looks so sad I have to blink back tears. My mom leads hear away to our guest bathroom past my father who is waiting outside for me.

“Is everything ok?” He asks me and I reply, “I don’t think so.”

Dad and I head back out into the living room where the family is quieting down. Some are leaving and are saying goodbyes; others are spending the night and are finding places to sleep. There’s an air mattress in my room that I would normally offer one of my family members or Natasha because she sleeps over often, but tonight I’m going to let Jayneice use it.

Jayneice spends a long time in the bathroom. When she comes out, everyone is pretty much settled in. I give Jayneice the pink nightgown that I got from my Great aunt on Christmas. It’s a really nice gown that I never got to wear because it’s too big. It fits her perfectly though. I’m jealous because it’s such a nice gown with thin straps and it just looks so good on her. I should have known though, everything looks good on her.

Jayneice sits down on my bed and I sit next to her. She doesn’t say anything though; she just stares down at the floor. I put my hand on her shoulder and say, “Tell me what happened.”

Jayneice looks at me then she slowly shakes her head. “I… can’t.” She says barely audible.

“Yes you can.” I say. “You can tell me anything.”

She avoids my eyes and shakes her head. She knows the rules that we have as sisters in love. If I look her in the eyes and ask her something, and she looks me in the eyes back, she has to tell me. I take her by the hands, “Please.” I say. “You have to tell me. What happened? Did somebody do something to you?”

Jayneice turns away but I get in front of her. I try to make her look me in the eyes but she just shakes her head as tears start to roll down her face.

“I can’t.” She says. “I just…I…”

“Why can’t you tell?” I demand. I’m trying to watch my tone but this is going nowhere.

She stands up to try and walk away but I grab her hands tight, “Just tell me Jay.” My eyes start to well up too. “I’m your sister. Just trust me. You can tell me anything.”

“Aiza, I can’t...” She says.

Suddenly my patience and my emotional barriers and all that junk, just disappears. I grab her shoulders and push her into the wall. She looks surprised and just trys to brush me off, but I’ve got her by the shoulders pinned against the wall. I have to make her tell me. “Aiza, don’t-” Jayneice trys to put her hand up but I grip her wrist tightly and force it down. She’s way taller than me but I can be pretty rough when I need to be. I’m not trying to fight her, I just want her to know that I take our relationship serious and I don’t like secrets. I stare up at her.
“Don’t do this right now…” She pleads turning her head away.

“Yes, now!” I argue. “You might never tell me and it will get worse!” I take her face in my hands and force her to look strait. I almost have her but she closes her eyes.

“Jayneice just tell me what happened to you! I can help you!” She keeps her eyes closed. I take her cheeks now with my thumbs and fingers and I squeeze down hard. She keeps her eyes squeezed shut and trys to fight back by cuffing my wrists but I pinch her cheeks even harder. I realize that we look ridiculous but I don’t care. Finally my hands are stained with her tears and she opens her eyes and gasps. She makes a fist and threatens to hit me, but her eyes make contact with mine so I let her go. I see sudden anger in her eyes so I take a step back and notice that we’re both panting. Jayneice looks at me again and now she looks like she’s going to come after me. Ohh shoot…

But then she lowers her head and starts to cry. I’m a little bit relieved because I don’t want to fight my sister. Besides, I’m so small there would have to be two of me to even make it fair. I try to calm her down but she slides down to the floor and starts to sob harder. And she’s not just crying either, she’s whaling. Suddenly I feel bad. Really bad…

And I’m not really sure what to do either. Did I make her cry? One of my family members comes to the door. It’s my eighteen-year-old cousin Derrick. He’s got dreads and gold teeth. He’s a pretty good-looking boy though. We always hang out whenever he’s in town. He’s going to graduate this year with a 4.0 GPA.

“Dang, what’s wrong with her?” He asks. “Is she ok?”

“Uh, yeah she’s just going through something.” I lie. “Uh… someone died.” I haven’t lied in Lord knows how long. He nods and leaves. Not long after, my Mom and Dad come in looking concerned.

“Aiza what happened?” My mom asks.

“I don’t know, I was trying to get her to tell me what happened and well…I didn’t mean to make her cry but, I guess I upset her.”

“Honey, how many time have I told you about being so forceful?” My mom scolds.

My mom tells Dad to leave and I’m sure he’s thankful. Jayneice really creates an atmosphere when she cries. I’m not kidding either; the girl can really let it out. I feel just rotten that I’m the one who started it. My mom trys to calm her down, but it’s not working and before she can realize it, she’s crying too! I feel helpless standing here and my mom looks to me because she doesn’t know what more to do.

I get down on the floor next to her and I grab hold of her in a tight hug. I can feel her body trembling with the shakes. “Jayneice, I’m sorry.” I say. “Please don’t cry, I’m so stupid, I shouldn’t have done that, I’m so sorry…”
But it seems to work because slowly but surly, she calms down and she hugs me back. I keep hugging her until she’s not sobbing anymore. My mom leaves us eventually while we hold each other. Jayneice stops crying, but the aftershock of hiccups and sniffles follow. Her body is still trembling with the shakes so I rub her on the back.

Suddenly Jayneice lets go of me, jumps up, and runs out of the room. I follow her because I’m worried about what might happen next. Jayneice runs into the bathroom and closes the door behind her and I reluctantly wait in the hall. I stand outside and listen just in case something goes wrong. My mom and dad come around the corner.

“Where’s Jayneice?” My mother asks. “Is she alright now?”

“She’s in the bathroom.” I tell her, “…I think she’s throwing up.”

I already see the worry on my mother’s face. “Ohh, poor thing.” Mom says.

“Is that all?” My dad goes. “After crying like that, I thought she would be contemplating suicide.”

I give my dad one of my mother’s looks and my mom does it even better.

“Walter!” Mom exclaims.

“Dad!” I say. “That wasn’t funny.”

He scratches his neck and goes “My bad…”

I turn back to my mom. “Don’t worry mom; Go on to bed.” I tell her. “When she comes out I’ll give her a glass of water. I’ll look after her so don’t worry.”

She looks reluctant but then she gives in. “Alright.” She says. “But if anything happens, you come and get us, you hear me?”

I nod my head and say, “Ok. Goodnight mom… and dad.” Then they both say, “Goodnight baby.”

Jayneice vomits for about fifteen minuets. When she comes out I have the glass of water ready for her. She takes it thankfully. When she drinks it I take the glass and run it down to the kitchen for her. On the way back to my room I take my time so I can try to think of the right way to apologize to her. No luck. When I step into my room Jayneice is already lying on the air mattress with her back turned. I lose my nerve and just decide not to bother her. I flick the light off and hop in bed.

I close my eyes only to open them fifteen minuets later still wide-awake. I have got to find a way to beat my insomnia. I look down towards the air mattress. Jayneice is sleeping on her side facing this way now. I can’t really see her face but I can just barely separate the dark from her pink gown and her silky black hair. She’s completely motionless and silent. She’s such a soft sleeper; if it weren’t for her steady breaths you wouldn’t think she was alive. I lye and watch her for a while. When she first came to the door, she was saying she needed to get clean, that she was dirty. But I can’t imagine what she was talking about. Clean? Her skin is perfect. Everything about her looks, her figure, and her style of clothing seems flawless.

I just watch her. Something happened to her tonight. Something that shook her up and she didn’t want to tell her sworn sister about it. And she’s never been afraid to tell me anything. To think that it’s so bad and that I made her cry by trying to force it out of her… I feel low…my eyes start to well up with tears as I watch her sleep.

“…Aiza?” Jayneice’s voice calls out softly. I’m almost too surprised to say anything. Did I just hear her or am I-?

“…Huh?” I answer softly.

“……Why are you crying?”

My tears start to flow faster. How did she know? Has she been watching me? No it’s too dark. I’m glad she’s awake though because I want to apologize.

“…I don’t know...” I manage. “I’m just…a little sad for you is all, I guess.”

She’s still motionless. I don’t hear anything else from her for a minuet.

“…Aiza…Could you come here?” She asks.

I get out of bed and Jayneice moves over on the air mattress for me. I lie down on it and facing her. I’m close to her but it’s still too dark to see her face. I give her my hand and she holds it between us. We lie in silence for a while.

“I’m sorry for making you cry.” I whisper. “I shouldn’t have pushed you.”

“…Don’t apologize.” She whispers slowly. “…You were just being a good sister.”
“I’m always going to be your sister.” I whisper. “No matter what happens…but I shouldn’t have…”

I can’t see her face, but I feel… I feel… some how… I know, she’s crying. Silently.

“…Aiza?” She whispers.

“Yeah?”

“…I’m sorry…”

“Don’t apologize.” I whisper a little laugh. “You didn’t do anything wrong. Besides, you’re my sister.”

After a moment of silence, she turns over on the mattress still holding my hand and I put my arm over her waist.

“…Aiza.” She says.

“Yeah?”

“…I…have to follow the rules, don’t I?”

“…No…” I say. “…I wanted you to tell me…but I used the rules selfishly. So no, you don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to…but… I… still want to know.”

Jayneice goes quiet for a while. She holds my hand a little tighter then suddenly she breaks the silence.

“…Aiza?”

“I’m here.” I whisper.

“……..I want to tell you…”

“I’m listening.” I say. Finally.

“…But… I’m scared…” She whispers.

“…Scared of what?” I ask.

“…That if I tell you…you won’t want to be my sister anymore.”

“…Jayneice…that’s not even possible.” I begin quietly. “Who do you think I am? I said no matter what didn’t I? We both swore years ago.”

She holds my hand tight and turns over to face me. I reach out with my other hand and touch her face. Her skin is soft, smooth, and wet with tears just like I thought.

“Uh…” She probably wasn’t expecting that. “I want you to see me for a minuet.”

I get up and turn on the lamp to a dim glow. Then I get back on the mattress next to her and clasp hands. I stare at her eyes and she stares at mine. Mine are brown like brown sugar. Jayneice’s eyes are black with a glowing glare behind them.

“…Aiza?” She whispers. “…How do I look to you?”

“…Uh, besides the fact you look really sad,” I say moving some of her silky black hair away from her eyes. “…You’re, really pretty no duhh… a real natural beauty.”

She looks away for a second, and then she puts both her hands around mine. And looks at me again.

“…I’m here.” I tell her.

“…….I’m…hurting.” She says.

“…Where?”

She moves my hand and puts my palm on her chest. I feel the steady thumping of her heart. Then she says, “…Here.”

“…Your…heart?”

“…Yes, and,” Then moves my hand over her face. “Here.”

I think for a second then I say, “…Your… spirit?”

“Yes, but...” She whispers. She’s trying to hint me

“…Your soul.”

She nods. Then she puts my hand over her mouth and nose, and one of her hands right over her eyebrows. I think it’s her eyes she’s trying to get me to focusing on.

“…..Your… pride?”

She nods, and then she squeezes my hand and looks at me silently. Ok so…Her heart, soul, and pride…what does that mean? I patiently stare back.

“…Why are you hurting?” I ask her quietly.
Jayneice sighs.

“…Could you turn the light off again, until I finish?”

I reach up and switch the lamp off. Jayneice stays quiet for a while. The room is pitch-black like a dark void. Then she squeezes my hand again.

“…….I…let, them use me.” She whispers. It sounds like an echo in the darkness.

“…You let who use you?”

“Everyone.” Jayneice gives a deep sigh and shakes her head.

“…I don’t remember many of their names,” She whispers. “…Men…and boys. Young and old. And…well just tonight I-”

“What men and boys?” I don’t understand. “What are you talking about? Who are they? If somebody hurt you, I know a lot of the guys at school, we can-”

“It’s not like that.” She says. I quiet down and let her talk. “…It’s nothing that simple, it…”

Jayneice stops and I fight the urge to keep asking her to talk. She doesn’t say anything for a while and I think she’s fallen asleep but then her voice comes back out of the darkness.

“…My… whole life…” She whispers. “…I didn’t even realize I was doing it….”

She stops suddenly. Is that it? She’s still holding something she doesn’t want to say just yet. I wait patiently. I’m still not sure what she’s talking about but I’ve got a few ideas.
“…I’m here.” I say. “…You let them use you? How?”

“……I..…let them…sleep with me…” She whispers. “…lots of different people…in the past.”

What? What did she just say? She had sex ? No way! I’m shocked but I restrain my reactions. I have to be quiet her or she won’t finish. I pick the best question out of the many that just sprang up in my head.

“…Why?”

“…I………different reasons…” She whispers. “…for fear…for money…for protection…for my mother to love me…one thing…. always led to another...”

“Your mother? Did you tell her?”

Jayneice turns toward me. My eyes have adjusted enough to shape her face and eyes. I feel a soft energy from her gaze. “…She just… kept using me…” She say like she can’t believe herself. “…she kept telling me she loved me…said we needed money…a place to live…she said I wouldn’t have to do it long…… she told me that I don’t need to be scared cause having sex doesn’t hurt...she……..kept telling me lies….”

I sigh and pressed my forehead on her shoulder.

“She told you… your first time wouldn’t hurt?”

“…I was way back when I almost twelve… when she told me we were in deep trouble with some man… somebody dangerous….and that I had to sleep in this man’s bed.”

I put a hand over my mouth. Hey I stopped breathing a second ago! Jayneice held my other hand and turned over. Jayneice’s mother did that?

“…It wasn’t the first time she told me to sleep in a man’s bed before….I started when I was nine…I was doing it regularly for years… so I didn’t think it would be any different than before…all the other times, they only laid with their arms over my waist, like this…when I first started I wasn’t comfortable but I got used to it…. pretty soon…I though all it meant was that I’d keep getting some new clothes… and shoes… and get my nails and hair done every few days…I didn’t know mom was getting me into that stuff too early… but then…She got in trouble with this man…I can’t remember his name really….but he was in the mafia.”

“Your mom got into it with the Mob?” I can’t believe it.

“…I didn’t really know what that was…back then I thought it meant they were something like royalty….they wore….expensive stuff and… now that I think about it they were always….around…like every once in a while I saw them talking to my mom……they treated me good….but then….somehow she made someone really angry…the next thing I knew she told me I needed to sleep with this man to get her out of debt…. he wasn’t in the Mafia but… I guess… he was in with them or something...”

“…But anyway…” Jayneice sighs, “…Just another night…that’s all Mom said it would be…she dropped me off in front of his house the day after she told me… and then she just left me there…I walked up to his huge door and knocked… he met me at the door…. he was young compared to the men I was used to…. they were usually lonely old men with lots of money… mostly men up in age.”

“How did he look?” I ask wondering if she understands what I’m really asking.

“…I was eleven Aiza…”

“…oh…Sorry…”I whisper.

“…I think…you would have thought he was really handsome.” Jayneice sounds tired but she clears her throat and continues.

I see she caught my joke.

“…He didn’t act the way any other man I’d been with either.” Jayneice’s voice is low. I can tell she is reliving the whole evening.

“…He met me at the door and introduced himself as…a friend...then he guided me on a tour of his house as if I was moving in…his house was sooo big Aiza…it was a mansion…at first I was uncomfortable, being treated so politely…he treated me like a special guest…he even sat down with me and drank tea…he made me feel…I don’t know, like royalty…while he was leading me around and showing me the rooms…I got a warm feeling from the house, like I was welcome…it was like…like I was filling in an empty space…I remember…he kept telling me about himself…his hobbies…his accomplishments…his likes and dislikes…he showed my his trophy room…his Japanese swords…all sorts of things he collected on world travels…he never asked me any questions about myself though…instead he complemented me on being quiet and beautiful…he said it made me look so adult…so sophisticated…I liked to hear that…this one room we were in…had a lot of pictures of him and his children…he had a girl and a boy…His son couldn’t have been much older than me…something felt weird about that room…like something was missing…before we left though, he showed me these beautiful platinum and Diamond earrings… and then he asked me to wear them…I was so amazed at them I just put them on…but the weirdest thing up to this point…was when he asked me to come with him to tuck his children into bed…it was cute how he went through all the gestures like on TV…we tucked the boy in first…he looked a little surprised to see me…but when we got to the little girl’s room…she looked as if…it was like she had seen a ghost…she kept staring at me from beneath her blanket…or maybe she had been staring at the earrings I was wearing but…she looked completely scared…then he lead me to his room…It was like a king’s bedroom…so much gold furniture and silk…and a fireplace…he told me I’d been the perfect guest…then he went to the dresser…and he pulled out some really expensive-looking gown and asked me to put it on…the men I’d spent the night with usually asked me to wear something…my mom said it was to make them feel more…comfortable…like for their fantasy or whatever…so I took it…but then I wasn’t sure what to do…the men that had me wear stuff usually wanted me to change in front of them…but he had been so proper in everything I thought that might offend him…so then I just thought…“what would a princess do?” or better yet…a queen…so I smiled and went to the bathroom to change…”

“…Was he…mad, when you got back?” I ask.

“…No…as a matter of fact I think it pleased him…the gown was a little too big…I remember putting it on and feeling a lot older…when I came out of the bathroom…he was dressed in a robe that now that I think about it, must have cost as much as a car…he sat at a small table with two chairs and tea on a silver tray…he was also reading some small book…I walked over to the table and sat down…when he first laid eyes on me in that gown…HE looked as if he had seen a ghost…but he was happy…he poured me some tea and he talked…don’t remember much of what he said…so when we finished tea…we climbed into bed…the bed was like a mountain…I…”

She paused for a moment to turn over. Then I felt her shudder.

“…I’m here…” I whisper.

“…Just before I fell asleep… he was saying something…I couldn’t make since of it…I think it was poetry…………later that night… I woke up……and his hands were touching me…down there…” She gestured towards her crotch. “He was rubbing on me and I was so scared…mom had always told me that if the men ever touched me in the middle of the night, I should act like I’m still asleep. I stayed still hoping he would just stop and go back to sleep…but he kept doing it…then I felt his, thing touching me…I got real scared and pushed his hands away.” She shows me with a gesture.

“I pushed his hands away and I was about to hop up and run out of the room.” Jayneice says still talking low. “But he grabbed me by the waist,” She gestures and pulls my arm tightly around her waist.

“I pulled and scratched at his arms, I wasn’t strong enough to get loose, but I-” Jayneice pauses again.

“……I’m here.” I whisper.

“…Aiza…..he….” She pulls my arm tight around her waist and I can almost feel the pain there. “…it hurt so badly…and he wouldn’t stop…I begged…I screamed…and shouted…I screamed so loud for my mom…I screamed so loud I thought… wherever she was she would hear me… but she never came.”

My eyes are stinging. I shut my eyes but tears burn their way through. My throat aches. My best friend had been raped when she was just eleven. And her mother knew this was going to happen to her and she just let it. Jayneice holds my hand with both of hers. “…Aiza?”

“…Y-yeah?” I can barely talk.

“…You ok?”

“…Yeah.” I choke out. “And I’m still your sister.”

I move in closer behind her and squeeze my arm around her waist tightly. “You bet.” I say. I feel her breathing relax a little bit and we lay silent for a while.

“…Did that…did it happen again?” I ask as best I can. “Tonight?”

“…No.” She says. “That only happened once. All other times were… business…”

Jayneice goes quiet again. We lay in the dark void for a while before she talks again.

“…I never liked it…I hated it…every time I thought… it’s over…..I done…..I though that I was through just being an object; my mother…. She kept getting us in trouble… usually gambling. Lots of money involved. And she would tell me she needed me and that the people she owed would try and kill me to make her pay.” Jayneice’s voice sounds so tired and exhausted. And I know she must be ashamed. I want to just let her rest but I know she won’t be able to. She’s been through some much and me and Natasha had no idea. But I have a feeling that she has more to tell me. And I fear the worst.

“…Jayneice…” I say softly.

“Hm?”

“What happened tonight?”

She laid silent for a minuet. “……………..Aiza…..I just don’t want to talk about it right now… I’m…more ashamed about it than about what I just told you……… you… really want to hear it?”

“…Yes.” I say. “I’m here.”

She takes a deep breath and says in a low voice, “Do you remember that time I missed three months of school?”

“Um…oh yeah, back in ninth grade.” I say. “You were sick, and you went to a hospital in Georgia to get treated.”

“…Yeah, that’s what my mom told you.”

“…You…weren’t sick?”

“…No…” She says shamefully. “…I got arrested……for uh… prostitution… and resisting arrest with violence….. and possession of five pounds of opium…. I never used the drugs….. I was going to trade it to help mom…”

“…You got charged with all of that?” I ask in total shock. “But, how did…you went to jail or… what happened?”

“….long story….the judge talked to me one on one….. I was so scared of him… he was….. scary and mean looking. He asked me why I did everything I did…. I told him….he kept asking….I kept telling him more….when I was done the man cried right there in front of me….. it scared me and I started to cry too….”

“So you must have gotten real lucky huh?” I whisper.

“…I got a five-year deal….I guess that was the best he could do for me…” She says. “….community service and probation….”

“But wait,” I go. “You told the Judge the truth? About everything?”

“Uh-hum.” Jayneice says

“So what happen with your mom?” I ask. “How come she didn’t go to jail?”

Jayneice pauses like she hadn’t though about it before.

“…I…now that I…” Jayneice shakes her head. “…I never saw the judge again after he ruled on my case.”

“What?” I go.

“…I remember… he told me he was going to talk to me about mom after my case was over.” She said. “…I didn’t want her to get in trouble but then…he disappeared...”

“Then what happened to him?” I ask.

“…I think… I killed him…” She admits. “…he kept asking about the mafia people…I…kept telling him the truth…then he just was gone…”

“…well that explains a lot.” I say trying to change the subject. “All those times you couldn’t stay out with me and Natasha huh? So this is your last year on probation?”

“…right.” She nods. “…But…me and mom…we were really late with the rent this time. And our landlord said that he warned us thirty days ago and were getting evicted tomorrow. So I talked to him and he-”

I gasp out loud and Jayneice stops suddenly. “I didn’t sleep with our seventy-year-old landlord. But see, I have to have a mailing address, like the court agreement says. Or I go back to court and get tried for everything I was arrested for.” She says.

I know what she’s talking about now. Now that she’s eighteen, to violate probation would mean being charged with felony crimes as an adult. Prostitution, resisting arrest with violence, and did she say opium? They would hang her for sure. I understand. This is for her survival now.

“…What I did…….. was so much worse…” Jayneice whispers.

She goes quiet for a while; then she turns over to face me. “… you don’t… want to hear this…”

Worse than sleeping with a seventy-year-old? I don’t think I want to hear this. Should I let this go? But, I did tell her she could tell me everything but… I’m having a hard time with this too.

“…Tell me…” I say.

She takes deep breaths and holds my hand with both of hers. “…You promise not to tell anyone?”

“…We have to tell Natasha if she asks.” I tell her. “She’s our sister.”

Jayneice’s voice starts to crack a little. She stops and starts to cry. Not like before, just a little.

“…Jayneice…” I whisper. “…I’m sorry…”

It’s just hard hearing something like this from my best friend . But if I don’t listen to her who will?

“…I’m here…” I say numbly.

“…Will you still want to be my sister?” She asks.

I interlock my fingers with hers, and reach out with my other hand and wipe her tears away. “…yeah...always.” I whisper.

She turns over and pulls me close behind her. My nose is almost touching the back of her head. She lies silently for a while holding my hand. Then she takes my hand and puts it on her face. “…t-this…this is my body.” She says. “…my gift…my pride…and… I……I …”

“…Jayneice…” I don’t know what to say.

“…it degraded me…” She whispers. “…my head is, so messed up now…I just…….…they…did things to me…”

Jayneice goes quiet.

“…I’m here…” I tell her as my eyes run again.

“..……They….. put their hands on me…all over me.”

I get closer and rest my face over her shoulder next to her hers.

“…Where?” I whisper painfully.

“…everywhere….” She whispers.“…I….I-I’m through with this….I don’t want this…”

Jayneice signs deep and then she asks “…you…still, want to be my sister?”

“……No…” I say flatly. She turns her head and looks at me. So I finish my statement. “I want to stay your sister. And Natasha too. We swore.”

She breathes more easily now. Finally she relaxes, and I start to get up but Jayneice squeezes my hand.

“…could you…… stay right here… please?” She whispers. “…I… just …don’t…. I don’t want to have those dreams tonight…”

I lie back down on the air mattress and put my arm over her waist. Jayneice takes my hand again.

“…Okay...” I whisper. “…I’m here...”


************************************************************************************************

Dark is Here


Sophia Maxell




I sneak out to the balcony hall and make the long walk past all the empty guest rooms. I pass my brother Zack’s room, and I past Lee’s room. Both of them must have gone to sleep hours ago. I sneak down the steps without making any noise and finish my run to the guest living room. I take the phone from off the end table and take it with me under the sofa, and then I stay still and listen for a minuet. I don’t hear any footsteps. I take a big nervous breath and dial the operator. One ring later a woman answers the phone.

“Hello operator speaking, how may I help you?” She says.

“Uhh…” My voice gets small suddenly.

“How can I help you?” The voice asks more firmly.

It dampens my courage, but I clear my throat and force my words to come out.

“Uh, I’d like to make a collect call please.” I say.

“Name of the person calling?”

“Sophia.”

“And the name of the person you’re trying to reach?”

“…Zandy.” I say.

“Ok, Area code first and then the number please.”

…

“Ma’am?” The operator says. “Number please.”

“…Um…I don’t exactly know the number.”

“Do you know the exact city or state?” She asks.

“Heaven, please.”

“Excuse me?”

“Heaven.” I repeat.

Now she’s silent for a moment. It makes me feel like she’s hung up on me.

“Umm,” The operator says. “There’s a Heavener in…Okalahoma.”

“That’s not the one.” I say.

“Which is it ma’am?”

“Umm, you know Heaven, the one with God.” I say.

The operator is about to say something but then she stops. And then she’s about to start but stops again.

“I’m sorry but I can’t do that.” She says. I’m surprised that she’s still patient.

“Why?” I ask. I really want to hear her response.

“Well because we don’t have a phone line to Heaven.” She says.

“Then can I speak to God?”

“Ma’am, how old are you?”

“Why?” I ask.

“Because this isn’t the way you can talk to God,” The operator speaks in a low tone. “But if you answer some questions for me I’ll help as best I can.” I feel dumb. Like when someone asks me something and I’m completely not prepared. I guess I could hang up though, if I don’t want to talk to her.

“I’m eleven.” I go.

“Where do you live?”

“…Florida.” I say.

“The best place to go to learn about God would be a church.”

Church. I don’t think I’ve ever been there but once. The time Mom died and all those people came to watch her go into the ground.

“…I don’t know if God really wants to talk to me,” I say “…I was just hoping he might let me talk to my friend again.”

“Do you know anyone who would listen to you?”

“…Well, I only had one friend,” I say. “But I think, maybe… Lee seems ok.”

“Do you think he’s open minded about God?”

“I thought I saw him talking to God one night.” I say. “But I couldn’t hear what they were talking about.”

“Well that should get you somewhere shouldn’t it? The next time you see Lee make sure and ask him about God.”

“Ok,” I go. “I’ll ask him.”