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This is a fun piece that tries to match some unusual situations to people's emotions |
| [Introduction]
This here is an unusual campfire wherein, we comprehend, complement and complete all the torturous situations - but only those that make us laugh My intro: The torture of being beautiful is that - One has to use that cream and this cream to stay beautiful or retain their beauty - the torture of retaining their beauty - One has to face the admirers who will crawl on all fours to them, the torture of keeping them at bay - One has to face all the envy from competitors and the ilk who will find something wrong with them always due to envy - the torture from competition The torture of being peaceful is that: - there will always be people who will want to spoil your peace - there will always be incidents that will rattle your peace - there will always be events that destroy that peace |
| The torture of being a follower of fashion is that: -one often has to leave some of the hottest items in the shops, because there's no more space in the cupboard -there's always the risk that the girl sitting next to you in the office, is wearing a more fashionable dress than you -that favourite suit of last year, that was so comfortable and looked so awesome on you and that cost you a couple of hundreds of bucks, you can use no longer, since it's outdated The conclusion has to be, "Better be Unfashionable" |
If you are intelligent, - then there is all the scope that there will be someone more intelligent than you - there could be a scenario where your intelligence could turn against you - there will certainly be a problem when others perceive it as over intelligence So, "BE DUMB" (and even if you are not, DO ACT DUMB) |
| (I used to be familiar with acting dumb; sometimes still am) The torture of having to be fit is: -that you'd rather spend those 100 or so dollars per month for the fitness-club, on another pair of slicks -that you actually hate all the sweating and panting you do, but that everybody says you look great, so you got to keep up with it -that all the sweating and panting of these people fitnessing at the same time as you, is really gros (except for that hunk of course, secretly for whom you are doing this to yourself) -that all these muscles only increase your weight and make your body feel so hard, but yeh, they look great -that you can't even keep up with all these new trends (tae-bo, Pilates, Windsor-Pilates, callanetics (oops, wasn't my mom doing that?)), but you got to -that you have to miss your favourite soap every day, because it's at the time that hunk is sporting and you got to stay near him, of course (but what you don't know is that he's actually escaping the home at that time, for his girlfriend is watching that soap too and he hates it) So you'd better just hang on the sofa with a bag of crisps |
A smile costs a million bucks or did they not tell you that! Hell, the guy next door thinks you are actually smiling at him! For heaven's sake, they think you ought to cry at a funeral and not smile at Joel's fortune at escaping into the yonder from all those yucky green tubes they put down his nose, mouth and all the places So, Don't smile! Cause not only does it cost you a million bucks but also it gives the guy next door a bloated ego and makes you look insensitive. |
| The torture of being rich, is that -you can still only afford an occasional smile (and that while you feel a smile coming up, whenever you meet one of your less fortunate neighbours or former class-fellows) |
The torture of going blue is, - tell it a 100 times but it still won't stop being the truth the torture of speaking loud is, that people could think you are being on a shriekathon the torture of being simple is, people would think you are trying to redefine the meaning of "simple" |
| The torture of being simple, is that -complications are most likely too complicated for you (inviting one to hide ones head in the sand) -you miss out on such enjoyments as shopping for the latest make-up, fashion and CD's -you feel no urge to become wealthy, in order to make that shopping for the latest make-up, fashion and CD's a true feast -other people think you're boring, because you enjoy such simple things as a walk near your house, reading a book and wearing clothes that may be old and outdated, but are really comfortable |
| the torture of being nosy is that - your nose could be over utilized the torture of being grumpy is that - people would think you have no business to be grumpy all the time the torture of being saintly is that people would think that it is a mask to hide some dark and dirty deeds |
| The torture of being pure is that - only a small mistake is enough to become impure for the remainder of your days The torture of being a writer (amateur or pro) is that - you will get a writers block, which makes you feel like you're no writer The torture of being successful is that - people will always say you elbowed your way up, no matter how hard you worked for it. |
| the torture of looking at yourself in the mirror is that you would like to know the star/actor that you closely resemble the torture of being a knight in shining armour is that there certainly would be a chink in that shining armour |
| The torture of living is that - you don't know how long it will last The torture of living is that - living knows many tortures The torture of not being alive is that - you miss out on all those many good moments of life. |
The torture of torture is that it is So...o torturous The torture of glue is that it could end up sticking up the wrong ends  |
The torture of reading a poem is that - you know that it must be beautiful,since it's a poem, but that you understand so little of it that you're not sure if you indeed find it beautiful  The torture of writing poetry is that - you know you should use metaphor, since it's a poem, but it's so hard to understand which metaphor to use, that you're not sure if your writing poetry or not. The torture of eating with knife and fork is that - you pierced the inside of your cheek with the fork and now you don't know if you are actually tasting your own blood or that juicy piece of steak that's on your plate. |
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