Poems

You let me down
Again
I help you
I trust you
Then you do it
Again
Always
Like a huge glass sphere
Breaking
Again and again
I try to put it together bit by bit
But I fail again
And you break
Again

Its raining,
Down, down, down
Just like me
Always down

Open your eyes
Open your ears
Hear the cries
See the tears

Dreaming
Scheming
Defying
Trying
Failing
Crying
Give in

I’m screaming about dreaming
About screaming about dreaming
About screaming

Volumous screaming
Silent cries
Shattered dreaming
Unformed lies

Endless nights
Careless days
Bloodless fights
Crying strays

Silent pleas
Disguised behind
Silent cries

The wind blows my hair
Like twigs in a hurricane
The rain whips against my face
Like ivy against a wall

Your words hit me
Like a shotgun blast
Your insults break me
Like an infant and a glass

It kills me
Like hunters and prey
It kills me
Day by day

Why put the gun to your head if you’re already dead?
Why commit suicide if you’ve already died?

Stop trying to cure me with your poison.
Each word takes me further away from the antidote.
Further and further.
Away.


Give in
Nothing works
Don’t you get it?
You with your calm perfect face
You’ve never been broken
Trampled and crushed
You’re too perfect and you know it

Don’t think you can understand
You can’t
You’re not like me
I’m not like you
Thank god for that

You’re ugly
You scare me
Every time I look at you
That body
That face
You
I hate it

You surround me
Everywhere
Left right
Up
Everywhere
I can’t escape
So I dig down
Further into my hole

I scream
People look
They can’t see the problem
You’re too perfect
No-one suspects you to be what you are
They think you’re perfect
They don’t see your insides
The real you
They don’t see me
Only you

No-one sees me when I’m hiding
In my bedroom
Under the bed
Sobbing
Crying
They only see the perfect me
The outside me
The leader in me
All the good in me
That’s all they see

You’re beautiful
You’re handsome
But you know it

Perfect face
Perfect hands
Perfect arms
Perfect legs
Perfect life
Perfect parents
Perfect you
Don’t you get it?
When I walk away
It means I hate you
All of you
Stop being perfect
Stop being you

Look around you
Just look
Look at the people
Have they been broken?
Are they broken?
Will they be broken?
Who knows?

Look at him
Ugly
Look at her
Nerdy
Look at them
Sad
Think
Think about it
Think about the things they’ve gone through
The shit they’ve wallowed through
They done it the hard way
They’ve done it my way

You let me down
Again
I help you
I trust you
Then you do it
Again
Always
Like a huge glass sphere
Breaking
Again and again
I try to put it together bit by bit


When I cut
I don’t feel the pain
I watch the blood
Drip into the dust
I watch it make
Little abstract patterns
When I cut
It relaxes me
It helps me