Long Lost than found |
Recently I had thoughts of my older sister running through my mind almost everyday. I had not seen her for fifteen years, and although I had searched for her without luck, I had not been actively looking for her at that moment. I had just had such strong wonders of her and how she was. I brought it up to our mother but things were not very good between them and our broken home had caused all three of my siblings and I to go our own ways in life. My brother and I had stayed the closest and we had become best friends for a few years, but than he married and I just refused to grow up. Our life styles clashed and we stopped speaking, and my younger sister is living up in New Hampshire with her nose in her back side. Well a week after I had spoken to our mother, I got a phone call from her telling me that she had spoken to my older sister. She explained to me that the reason I have not been able to find her was because her name was legally changed. I asked her for a phone number and quickly wrote it down. I made the attemp to call her for three days after that. I would get excited but than as I picked up my phone to dial her phone number as I went into space somewhere searching for words. I mean what do you say to your sister after fifteen years. I was nervous and worried about it being so awkward. I knew it would be like meeting a stranger because we had grown into differant people.So I hung up. On the fourth day my mother again called me. She wanted me to meet her and both my sisters for lunch. I agreed with every nerve in my body jumping, only now because I knew that my mother and her had some huge anger issues with one another. I thought about how ugly things could get with four of us together in a diner. Not one of us know how to handle things calmly, and not one of us would hold back any true feelings. Even though my brother and I were not speaking, I found it in my heart to think he had a right to be a part of this mini reunion. I called information and got his phone number. That turned out to be a mistake. He was not happy that I called him and screaming at me he swore me out of his life and placed my mother and my sisters in the same place. I took a deep breath, brushed him off, prayed to god to guide us through this meeting and headed out the door. I showed up first and waited untill my mother showed up. I spoke with her and discovered that my brother had called her yelling at her about me calling. Next my younger sister pulled up and got out of her car flipping out because I set my brother off. Apparently I did set him off, but I was only trying to do the right thing and I felt I had nothing to appoligize for and I didn't. Lunch went well, and I was happy about it. I had noted that my mother threw in her jabs as usual but my sister handled herself in a very mature mannor and she scored all the way through that day. Since that day, there has not been a day that I do not speak to my oldest sister. My mother has again turn her back and my younger sister has decided there is no room in her life for another sister. Also thanks to my big mouth my brother and my older sister are now speaking too, and I know that I will not have a friendship with my brother again but it still makes me happy to see them have one. I love you Mary and as long as I have a heart beat, you will be welcome to be part of it. |