Innovate the World

Innovate The World

He couldn’t believe what had just happened to him. Just moments ago he was thinking about what to have for lunch and now Jonah was thinking long-term, down the road. His future and what he was striving to be, didn’t seem so distant any longer. This was pretty ironic considering Jonah Palmer, the bed-headed, brown-haired young man who had graduated in the middle of his college class nine months ago, was now getting a huge promotion just for designing a new engine that runs off an alternative fuel. One that had never even been thought of, much less considered. He pulled off his contemporary, rimless eyeglasses and rubbed his eyes just to make sure he wasn’t day dreaming. He scratched his head in a state of near disbelief while holding his glasses in his right hand.
He pictured the same scene over and over in his head.
The scene was somewhat blurred but he was so focused on what his boss was saying. His boss was a short, chubby man who was naïve and less than ethical.
“I just talked to the CEO and it looks likes you are moving up a couple of floors. Looks like you are moving up to the floor above…me.” By the tone of Mr. Dunham’s voice Jonah could tell his boss was a little miffed.
But Jonah didn’t care. he was so ecstatic that he just grabbed Mr. Dunham’s hand and shook it vigorously like he was a long lost friend. Mr. Dunham told him begrudgingly that he would have a his own private corner office with a view. One thing that seemed strange about this event was that what Mr. Dunham had said as Jonah was leaving his office. Mr. Dunham mumbled under his breath, “That should have been my job!” Jonah didn’t really dwell on it, he just thought it was another rude comment from his boss.
Two weeks later Jonah was settled into his new office. He straightened the new nameplate on his desk that prominently displayed his name along with Combustive Innovations Corporation’s sleek logo. The deadline was drawing close for the project that had gotten him the promotion in the first place. Jonah was finalizing his first prototype of his new automobile engine. This was the engine that would change the world and address the need for finding alternative and innovative ways of mobilizing people and was safe for the environment.
Little did he know that Mr. Dunham had photocopied his blueprints and intended to use them for his own self-gratification. Blinded by anger and jealousy Mr. Dunham shared Jonah’s blueprints with Combustive Innovations competitor, Masscorp in exchange for a position on the board of directors at Masscorp.
Mr. Dunham addressed the seven Masscorp Board of Directors, as they sat around the mahogany table in Masscorp‘s board room. He shared the idea of the new engine highlighted the benefits and stressed the urgency to produce it as quickly as possible. His motive was to beat Jonah’s prototype to the market and watch Jonah’s demise at Combustive Innovations from a distance as he himself enjoys the success at Masscorp. He spoke with credibility and took ownership of the idea of an engine that would run off of sarcasm as if it were his own. The Board of Directors were amazed with the potential for this idea and therefore voted unanimously to start production immediately.
A couple of days later Jonah was sitting at his desk immersed in thought about the crucial finishing touch that would insure that this new engine would really be environmentally friendly. Then, unexpectedly, a news alert popped up on Jonah’s new iQuac personal computer. It read: Masscorp Reveals New Environmentally Friendly Engine, Rumored To Be Run On Sarcasm! Is It Possible? Alarmed, Jonah clicked the link to the website to see what was going on about this engine that seemed a lot like his prototype. After quickly speed-reading the news story (a skill he picked up during his college years) he learned that his former boss, Mr. Dunham, had recently landed a big job with Masscorp and had ingeniously, as the article had described it, designed a new engine which ran on sarcasm. The article went on to an interview with Mr. Dunham where he told how these engines would be operated. He told the world that these engines would be fueled with paper that was “presarcasmized”, basically computer paper with sarcastic comments printed on it. Then Dunham went on to tell that he wouldn’t go into specifics on the engines for fear of this revolutionary new invention being copied.
When Jonah finished reading this he slammed his coffee mug on his desk forgetting there was still coffee in it. The coffee spilled all over his new white shirt. Jonah didn’t even care about that right now, he was just so angry. That snake Dunham had stolen his invention, and there was nothing that he could do about it. Especially with the article’s interview going into detail about not giving specifics on the new engine for fear of being copied. Jonah knew Mr. Dunham said this just to prevent him from creating the engine also, or if he did, it would be considered a copycat and for that reason, not credible.
A similar coffee event was taking place at about the same time five floors above Jonah’s office in the CEO’s office. After reading the exact same article as Jonah, the CEO felt he needed to have a heart-to-heart talk with Jonah to try to find out what was really going on. He called his personal assistant in and demanded her to get Jonah Palmer up here now. Within five minutes, Jonah had arrived at the CEO’s office after receiving the urgent message to meet with him.
“ Take a seat Palmer,” said the CEO in a tone that showed more emotion than he had wanted it to. Jonah sat in one of the two large brown leather chairs across from the CEO. “ I’m assuming you already know what’s happened,” continued the CEO.
“ Yes sir. I’m aware of the article, if that’s what you mean.”
“ That’s exactly what I mean,” the CEO hollered. “ Now cut the crap and tell me what’s going on!”
“ Well, this is what I think occurred. I believe that Mr. Dunham was jealous that he didn’t get any credit for my new engine.” Jonah explained as he noticed that the CEO also had a coffee stain on his shirt.
“ Why? He didn’t invent it. He had nothing to do with it except for showing it to me, and he even told me that you created it.” The CEO vented.
“ I haven’t come up with any other reasons other than Mr. Dunham being jealous enough that he shared my unfinished blueprints with Masscorp.” Jonah replied.
“ Well here’s what I have to do. In order to keep a clean slate with the media, I have to take you off this project of yours. In fact, I’m shutting the whole thing down,” said the CEO almost regretfully.
“ No! You can’t do that. Please, I’m not even finished. You have to believe me. Dunham’s version of the engine still has major flaws. Give me time to correct them and I can have the engine finished, within a week,” Pleaded Jonah.
“ I’m sorry. Look, I do believe you, but this is the only way to get out of this situation with our corporation unscathed by the media. Again, I’m sorry but I have to take away your job too. I can give you back your old job, though.”
“What? My job, bu. . but why?” stammered Jonah.
“ Earlier I spoke with the owner, Mrs. Riley, about our precarious situation. She thinks that from what I’ve told her, you are cause of all this trouble. She believes that Mr. Dunham really thought of the engine and decided to work elsewhere because you tried to take credit for it. You and I both know what really happened, but we can’t do anything about it now. Just take back your old job and work as hard as you can. That’s all I have to say.”
“ This can’t be happening. It’s like I just climbed a mountain and then got kicked down,” Jonah explained. “ I’m not even fully settled into my new office.”
“ Well, look at the bright side. If you’re not fully settled, then you won’t have to pack as much to move back to your old cubicle.” said the CEO, trying to eat his words as he realized he had just let an inadvertent offensive phrase come out of his mouth.
“ Yeah, I guess,” Jonah replied distantly, as if dreaming. The he got up and out of the chair and showed himself to the door. Jonah then walked to his office that wasn’t his anymore and packed his things up. He wished he could keep his new iQuac, but cubicle workers weren’t allowed to use them. He would have to revert back to using the older and slower Wacintosh 200.
By the next day Jonah had moved back to his old cubicle and began to start his “new” job as a DEP, or data entry person. Over the next ten years, Jonah continued to work at CI Corp., mainly because he had nowhere else to work. While had Jonah lived a boring, lonely, and somewhat melancholy life over this past decade, Mr. Dunham had experienced the best “material” things could offer because Masscorp had rocketed to the top of the engine building market after the premier of the sarcasm engine. It was fueled by the “presarcasmized” paper. Everyone in the world wanted to buy a car with a sarcasm powered engine because the fuel for it was so cheap.
This engine was great for business, but it was causing a fog of sarcasm that would not go away. The engine actually had a negative effect on the environment and human society. This all started with a sound problem. When one of these sarcasm cars was running, it would emit sarcastic remarks. The remarks would get worse as the engine worked harder. When a sarcasm car would idle, it would just let out small phrases such as, “ Eat my shorts!” When the car was going down the highway at seventy miles per hour the remarks just got worse, too vile and horrible to bear repeating. Even with this flaw, people continued to buy Masscorp’s sarcasm powered car just for the fact that there was cheap fuel in the form of the “presarcasmized” paper. As more and more Masscorp cars appeared on the roadways, people heard more and more sarcasm. They began to think it was okay to be sarcastic and vulgar. This problem was especially apparent in children, where it was not uncommon for a toddler not to know every swear word in every language, including Latin. Masscorp cars were also negatively affecting the environment. They were causing a shortage in trees because so many were being cut down to manufacture “presarcasmized” paper.
Jonah felt partly responsible for this problem, and he knew he had to try to solve it. He knew why the Masscorp cars were emitting sarcasm. He also knew how to fix them. Ten years ago when Mr. Dunham had stolen his blueprints, Jonah was not yet finished with his engine. It still needed an exhaust system with a muffler that would muffle the sarcastic comments of the car into regular car noises.
Seeing the need to help everyone in the world, Jonah secretly created a prototype muffler kit. He then quit his job at CI Corp. and started his own business with money he’d saved up from doing mechanic work every weekend for the past ten years. His business produced and sold his new muffler kit that would fit any automobile that was powered by the sarcasm engine. He marketed his business with a “Save The World” slogan. The muffler became a huge hit. It sold particularly well with the middle aged person with children demographic.
Even with Jonah’s business amassing huge sums of money from muffler kit sales, Mr. Dunham, who now was the CEO of Masscorp, didn’t try to stop Jonah. Dunham did not see a reason to because he was still making loads of money at Masscorp. Jonah’s muffler kit had actually caused car sales rise.
As more muffler kits were used, there was less sarcasm in the world. Within the next fifteen years, sarcasm became used again as it once was before the days of the sarcasm engine. Jonah had solved the sarcasm problem but not the environmental problem. Having washed away the pollution of sarcasm that swept the world, he decided to retire from his business. Now that everyone in the world could think with a pure mind again, Jonah would leave the next generation to solve the environmental problem that he and his generation started.