It was time

It was time. Time for change, time for new decision’s and time for a new tomorrow.

Mariska stood in the balcony looking at the cars and bicycles making their way through the red dusty streets. Red bricks had been broken down the previous night and laid over the roads. The auspicious day had arrived for the local municipality to begin laying the roads. Well they were technically roads, but it had been years since they had been laid. When the heavens released rain over the city the roads would become slushy and dirty and in this state the roads looked like warm melted chocolate with apple cinnamon ready to be savored. After the rains the roads would dry up again and become rocky and difficult to walk over. It reminded her of her own life and her constant struggle to make it meaningful…purposeful. Was she ready for the new journey?
For the first time Mariska had decided to move forward, she had decided to take the foreign job offer on an impulse. She did not pay heed to the warnings from friends who would try and dissuade her from going away. She reminded them that she was too young to sit back and give up. It was time for her to get married and settled down, but here she was packing her bags. Her best friend told her that she was running away from herself and becoming a loner. It was true …but she was friendly and approachable too.  This contradiction in her personality was always intriguing to people around her. 
Mariska pushed back her tangled curly hair and pressed her fingers at the bridge of her nose to try and relax, but the headache was now getting the better of her. She knew she had no time to relax, in eight hours she would be flying away. She stood up with a big sigh and decided to weigh her bags, now with the new regulations she had to be sure that she was not going to pay for excess baggage. She checked all the things she had laid out in the dining table new pearl ear-rings to wear for the flight check...passport check…e-ticket(s) check…2 pens check…work permit papers check…photo of mother and father sitting together check…photo of her best friend check…small bible check…travelers checks check…cell phone check…a spare shirt check…denim jacket check…She had covered everything she needed.
There were a thousand things to do and her thoughts led her back to the night she had to make a choice, what if the work permit didn’t come through for some reason then what would she do? She hoped against hope that she would get this one chance to change her monotonous mundane life. She was getting dangerously comfortable in the routine of work…home…work again…home again. She was too proud to tell people around her about her pain and constant sorrow. She was surprised at this sweet sorrow rising within her. The sorrow of not having a child, biologically she knew she was ready for it. Every part of her body was ready to feel the warmth of nascent flesh against her skin. Sometimes this yearning would drive her into state of semi-living. Semi-living…it was a new term she had coined to describe her frame of mind. Physically she was fine, a little extra flesh on the bones maybe but she was fine. It was ironic that she was very comfortable in her skin but it was this incomplete feeling that gnawed away at her incessantly. She had recently turned 30 and wondered why people heralded their 30th birthday with so much trepidation. Maybe they just didn’t understand it, which was such a shame.


The minute hand on the elegant clock in the living room seemed to take forever to complete its rounds, like a little soldier marching on and on, untiringly and relentlessly …always wanting to get somewhere and then deciding to start all over again. Realizing time slipping away Mariska picked up her cell phone to call her friends in an effort to get out of her reverie. Some friends wished her well and others were hesitant. She thanked them profusely for thinking about her and promised to write to them or call them. After the calls were over her mother then sat down with her to have a heart to heart and Mariska knew this was going to be very tough on her mother.
Mariska patiently listened to her mother as her words flowed out in a gush expressing fears…her love …her doubts …her strong sense of pride. The emotions and memories softly lingered on Mariska like her favorite perfume, subtle but yet wrapping her within its inner layers. She loved this and knew she would miss it and she would miss her best friend of all …her mother.  This was the only time Mariska had second thoughts about her decision to go away and it was the only thing that would have made her unpack and stay back. So why was she leaving, was it destiny or fate that was finally closing the deal with opportunity?