If I were alive

If I were alive

Alone, encased in this tomb
Silence surrounds me
I take another drink to ease the pain
Sadness recedes like an outgoing ocean tide
Failures are forgotten
Loneliness flees like a defeated foe
Lost loved ones come alive in my mind
We are together again
The illusion disappears when I fall asleep
It never lasts

A new day begins
The sunrise brings no light
Six feet of dirt obscures its brightness
I thrash inside this coffin
Trying to break free from the grave
My heart still beats, lungs expand and collapse
Drawing what could be my last breath
The living don’t know I’m here
They pass by me, over me
I’m invisible to them

I don’t want to end like this
I want to live
The alcohol beckons
Perhaps one last drink will give me life
My loved ones come back
Peace returns
If only briefly
Maybe tomorrow I'll see the sun
If I were alive
I wouldn't choose this death