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by SAM Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 18+ · Novel · Comedy · #1322088
Evan is a young man that has trouble distinguishing between boys and girls.
Due to lack of reviews, and lack of most people being able to sit and finish the story in one sitting, I've decided to split it up into two parts.


Prologue


         Joel, Evan, and Bobby were best friends, and always had each others backs. They had been friends since middle school. Back in fifth grade, they all got beaten up by eighth graders together, but that was in the past. They had recently become freshmen in college.
         Joel, the musician, was ruggedly good looking and the oldest. He was a year older in fact, because he was held back in kindergarten. What a bitch of a teacher he had. He was the most mature though, and you could tell. He loved chilling back with a beer and his guitar. Whenever he played it, ladies would swarm around like bees. Joel would get all into it and throw back his long black hair. There wasn't a girl that could resist him. And the music that came out of the guitar actually... actually kind of sucked. So he normally just carried it around to look cool. The only song he could really play was 'Happy Birthday'. He screwed that up sometimes too. There are only so many times that one can play 'Happy Birthday' to impress the ladies.
         Bobby was the stoner of the three. Getting high was practically an hourly experience for him. He was also the only one of the three that had a job. Not because he had to pay for college though. No, his parents paid, just like Evan's and Joel's. All the money he made went for weed and occasionally gas for his horrible excuse of a car. He would not even pay for a hair cut. Who the hell wants to pay twelve dollars or so for something they can do themselves? So he took some hair clippers and did the job himself. Bobby buzzed his hair right down so he was practically bald, and it actually didn't look that bad on him.
         Then there was Evan. Not a musician, a stoner, a jock, nor a geek. Evan was just Evan. He was always a little different, and no one could figure out why. He had a horrible dress sense and didn't drive. His shaggy hair stuck out on the back and sides of his head. Evan also only shaved about once a month or when he had to. When he did though, it was never a pretty site. Sometimes he would leave behind patches of hair or else cut himself. So he made a point to do it sparingly.


House Party


         The music was bumping so loud that there was no way a neighbor on this block could be sleeping. I guess that didn't matter, considering all the neighbors were here.
         Marty and Amy threw the greatest parties at night. All of their neighbors were laid back, and they lived right up the street from the campus. So any college kid that knew about it was there.
         Joel and Bobby were mingling on the ground floor of the giant house with a few other people.
         Joel stood there with his guitar strapped around him, like usual at parties. Plus he had several girls around him. Whenever he had that guitar out at parties, it wasn't uncommon for him to have at least three girls surrounding him. He put his arm around them all and pulled them in closer, always telling them made up stories of him rocking out.
         Bobby was just laid back on the huge black leather couch and took a deep drag from his joint. Then he slowly released the smoke.
         One of his smoking buddies on the side of him noticed the remote for the TV was sitting on the ground. "I wonder what’s on." he said.
         Bobby was curious too, so he leaned forward and picked up the remote.
         Noticing the way the remote looked from the backside in his hands, Bobby's other stoner friend, Joey, laughed out "Dude, Is that a fucking dildo?”
         Bobby just laughed, called Joey an idiot and turned on the television. To his surprise, it turned out to be pornographic material.
         Someone, out of the crowd of people standing around them, shouted out "Who wants to play 'Ookie Cookie'?".
         Bobby liked the porn and everything, but he was all set with the idea of playing 'Ookie Cookie'. So he got up and walked.
         Outside, on the porch, was more relaxing. Also, the music wasn't as loud anymore, so he no longer had to yell to talk. The girl ratio was a lot higher out here too. So Bobby took a drag of his joint and then made his move.
         Amanda Davis was having a cigarette by herself while leaning on the porch, just staring into the sky. Looking at her wavy blonde hair and her small, round ass in those tight, white pants, Bobby started to get a little nervous. So he took one deep drag to calm his nerves. As he stepped forward he tripped, and fell face first into her ass.
         She already thought Bobby was a drugged out loser, and this made things worse. Amanda called him a jackass, and then dumped her beer that was sitting on the side of her all over him. After that, she took off.
         "Why aren't you inside with your other pot head buddies?" a female voice called out to him.
         As he wiped the beer out of his eyes, he saw it was his ex-girlfriend Jill.
         She just smiled at him with her brown, curly hair blowing in the breeze. Her cute, brown eyes were hidden behind dorky glasses. She also had a really nice body, but it was hidden behind her giant 'rocker' t-shirt.
         Jill and Bobby were always off and on with their relationship. She liked Bobby, but he smoked way to much pot for her liking. This always caused fights. However, Bobby wasn't really into her anymore, or so he said. She was a cool chick, and really hot... when her clothes were off. But she had become old news, he would say, and she didn't seem as attractive to him with those 'rocker' clothes on.
         Bobby stood up and responded to her question by saying how his pot head friends scared him off by talking about playing 'Ookie Cookie', even though it was probably just a joke.
         Jill didn't know what 'Ookie Cookie' was, nor did she want to. "I see you're still smoking weed." she pointed out, as she swatted the smoke away from her face.
         "Yep." Bobby laughed as he took a long drag and then blew the smoke right into her face.
         "You're an asshole." she stated "I'm going to get another beer."
         Bobby chuckled and then apologized.
         Meanwhile, Joel had moved on into the bathroom with some girl. He sat on a closed toilet seat while plucking the strings of his guitar. "Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you..." were the notes being played.
          "Joel," the girl complained "you've played that song, like, sixteen times in a row! I'm getting outta here."
         After she stormed off, Joel stood up and walked out to the living room.
         His mouth dropped in discuss when he saw four guys, half naked, circle jerking around a chocolate chip cookie. "Oh god, not 'Ookie Cookie' again!" Joel exclaimed.
         "Joel!" Bobby shouted from a distance. When they got closer Bobby stated how this party had gotten out of control, and they should leave.
         Joel agreed, but he didn't want to leave without Evan.
         But 'Where was he?' they wondered. Neither of them had seen him in a few hours, so they decided the hell with him, and they took off.
         Nobody had seen Evan in a while because he was in one of the extra rooms upstairs. He was just standing there in his boxers, talking to another guy. "Can I put it in your ass this time, sexy girl?" Evan said "That strap on dildo that you put on between your legs is starting to hurt, and it's kinda gay."
         "Um, you’re an idiot," the other guy with thick, medium length hair replied "but ok." His high pitch voice was almost girl like.


English 101


         English class was always so boring to Joel, along with practically everyone else in the class too. He couldn't pay attention, especially after the party last night.
         He looked at the clock on the wall, '10:46 AM' it read. If only it was right. It had always been twenty three minutes ahead. That's a big difference, especially on your first day, when you're ready to leave right after the class just started. It fit in though, with the old creaky desks in this room, and the old tan stained walls. The room said everything about the teacher. She didn't care, so why should they?
         At that next moment was when Joel's phone started to vibrate. It was Bobby. They had been text messaging back and forth for the last half hour. Joel did anything to save himself from total boredom. The text message read:


Again! Evan got laid again!
He is like some super pimp
or something. I don't understand
it. How does he out pimp me?
He is such a klutz!


         Joel had to agree with Bobby. Evan got laid more then either of them and Joel had no idea why. Evan could barely even shave himself. He also couldn't drive, and passed his classes by the skin of his teeth. He always bummed answers, and yet he had no problems with women... or so he said.


Jackson's Hell Hole


         'Jackson's Diner' the sign flashed, in big red letters.
         It was '3:30 PM' and Joel, Evan, and Bobby were starving. This was where they would always go to eat. A cheap ass diner that was right outside campus. This place was a hell hole and the food was horrible. That's how it got its nickname, 'Jackson's Hell Hole'. Everyone knew it by that name. However bad the food was though, it was better then the food at the college.
         Squeak, squeak, squeak. Evan sat in one of the torn up, red stools at the counter. He sat and rocked the stool back and forth, making the squeaking sound. While he was sitting there, he was looking at the menu on the wall in front of him. Acting like he was going to order something different for once, but he never did. Once Joel, who was sitting on the stool beside him, nudged his shoulder, he ordered his normal cheeseburger and cola. The trashy waitress wrote it down and brought it over to the cook.
         Joel sat between Evan and Bobby, quiet for a moment. He sat thinking about how he wanted to word his question to Evan. 'Just how the hell did he get laid so much?'
         Before he asked, he made a quick glance around the diner, noticing the shitty wall paper peeling off the walls, and the nasty brown stains all over the tiles of the floor. Then Joel thought that for such a crappy place, it sure did good business. Maybe Evan was the same as the diner.
         Clang! Clang! Joel bolted his eyes over to see the waitress drop some pots. His timing was just perfect to see her cottage cheese ass, as she bent over to pick them up.
         "That shit is nasty." Bobby whispered, and then made a slight gagging sound.
         Joel laughed then looked at Evan, who seemed in a daze.
         He was staring up into nothing, while his hand rested on the counter in spilt coffee.
         "Evan!" he said as he nudged him. Once Joel had his attention, he asked him how he got laid so much, but Evan had no information for him.
         He only said "It just happens."
         Just then, the bells over the door started to jingle. Someone was entering the diner. Joel and Bobby looked back to see who it was.
         Casey Fernandez was the guy's name. A skinny guy with dark brown, medium length hair and a high pitch voice. Casey walked over to Evan and started giving him a massage. "Last night was awesome, Evan." Casey said.
         Evan spun the stool around to see Casey. "I can't wait to do it again, Casey." Evan replied, and he leaned over and gave Casey a peck on his lips.
         Bobby and Joel's eyes widened when they saw this.
         Evan hopped off of his stool as he said bye to Joel and Bobby.


Evan?


         Marty and Amy's house was the perfect chill spot. Marty was a lawyer and Amy was a supermodel, so they both made good cash, and you could tell. Their house was huge and clean, plus the fridge was always stocked with alcohol. They had everything from beers to wine coolers to hard alcohols. Because of this, there were always people having a good time.
         Tonight was a slow night though. Ten people at tops, and the music was very low.
         Joel and Bobby sat in a corner, on black, thin legged seats, talking to Marty.
         Marty sat there barefoot, rubbing his toes through the thick, light gray carpet, just listening.
         Joel was telling him about Evan being gay.
         "He's not gay!" Marty replied "He is bi, and so what if he is?" Apparently Marty had known this for sometime.
         "We don't have a problem with him being gay or bi, but it's messed up that he never told us." said Joel.
         Marty sighed and noticed the black ceiling fan on the other side of the room, not far from the television. It was going full speed, but he didn't put it at full speed. Did his wife, Amy, do it? Then he glanced at the white wall where the control for the fan was. No sooner then after he looked at the white wall, he heard a loud smacking sound, followed by a bunch of laughter. After he looked back at the fan, he saw three stupid looking drunks jumping up and hitting the fan. "Hey!" he yelled, as he ran over to stop them.
         As soon as Marty left, Evan stumbled over, onto Bobby.
         "Dude" Bobby shouted "are you trying to get with me now? I'm not gay, like you."
         Confused, Evan stood right up. "What are you talking about? I like girls." Evan stated. Evan then went to take a seat so he could continue his conversation with Bobby, but didn't notice that he was about to sit on Joel.
         "Whoa!" Joel flipped out, pushing Evan away. Then he went off about Evan being gay and not telling them.
         Evan tried defending himself, reminding them that they saw him with a girl at 'Jackson's Hell Hole' earlier that day.
         Joel and Bobby just laughed at him.
         Bobby then stood up and got in Evan's Face "Casey is a fucking dude that you kissed and had sex with last night! Hence, you are a faggot!”
         The room went silent as everyone in the room just stared at them.
         Evan stared into Bobby's light blue, stone cold eyes. "Fuck you!" he shouted and then stormed off.


Continued in...
 Evan [part 2] Open in new Window. (18+)
Evan is a young man that has trouble distinguishing between boys and girls.
#1322918 by SAM Author IconMail Icon
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