Tell Me Again

~Tell Me Again~
By: Aerys Krystie.

~ * ~

If you are looking for a good story, then hit the “Back” arrow now. I warn you, this story is not good. It’s not even written well. It just sucks!
Still here? I didn’t think so, your mind is already wondering. See? I know you. I know what you’re thinking, and I know that I am not a good author, but I did not ask you read this. I even warned you to go back while you had the chance.
Now you’re starting to wonder if I’ll get on with the story, correct, yes? No. Well, of course you’re not. You’re not hot-tempered and impatient. You’re not waiting for any slight to start a fight, even though that is what we are against. We do have rules and regulations, which, by the way, are very rarely followed. Attempting to keep the reader interested, unfortunately, is not one of them.
To keep you interested, there must first be an explanation. But you won’t see one of them for a long time, because I will make sure of that. In this story, I’m afraid, you will find homosexual sex (two males), swearing, some blood, and old corny jokes told very badly. Still think this a good story? I’m pretty sure I saw one just down the page, have a look, you never know.
For those poor suckers that just too lazy to go back, I will give you a very small, slight impression of what this story is meant to be about in just five small words: Sinneslust, Habsucht, Eitelkeit, Zorn and Neid. What happened to Sloth and Gluttony? Well, that’s none of your business, but since you want to know, I think I should kinda explain it. They never came to my mind, so quit bitching and keep reading.
Hmm, I smell like rose and bamboo. Pretty scent. Moving on. Those five will each be a chapter, each one very short chapter. So short, you will wonder what happened to rest. Between me and the hundred readers, I won’t kid myself and say “thousands”, I could only be lucky, I’ll let you in on a little secret; the publisher only liked the first the part of this and told me the rest sucked. Sweet, yeah?
Of course, as you know by now, that didn’t really happen. I don’t even know where to find a publisher in a small town that is crimeless since it has been legalized. Oh, yes, we legalized crime, well, must be two months now. Of course, in this town, there is no crime, purely for the fact that – No, not because it was legalized! – But because we Guardians do not believe in crime. We’ll go against the bible and almost everything it stands for, but breaking the commandments? Those are not us, and if you think it is, get the hell off this page!
No, we Guardians are all about peace, love and no war! Sure, we sound like the hippies, but, hey, they almost had the right idea. I’m sure it could have been made to stick if they hadn’t fried most of their brain cells. The sun can do a lot of damage. Take me for example, I rarely see the sun. The only time I do is if I’m conned out to some party by my lover.
Ahh, Rubin and his conning. He could have made a lot of money on Earth. Conmen did fascinate him to no extent, and most of our love-making was due to his conning. That made it exciting. I never knew how or where he was going to pounce me. It was usually when I was carrying books or some files that I wanted to review. Actually, now that I think of it, I barely get any of my work done with him around. He’s worse than a sex starved rabbit.
Well, now that the big secret is out – that I’m gay, by the way, just for those who fell asleep and continued to scroll down the page – I guess there is no problem with me explaining the rest. Ahh, this should be a lot of fun. I’m bound to lose you’re attention sooner or later. I prefer sooner, that way I won’t get any nasty reviews about how I ramble on about almost nothing, but please, don’t toss me aside just yet!
Got ya! I don’t care what you do. However, if you do leave a nasty review, I will backtrack your IP address, go to your house while you’re asleep and hurt you. I am able to do that. After all, we Guardians are supernatural beings. We can faze in and out like its nothing. Don’t believe me? Yeah, of course you wouldn’t. I wouldn’t believe me!
Okay, moving away from that. Guardians, well, I’m sure you’ve guessed what we do. We guard stuff. Usually stuff without any value, but a lot of it is of a lot of value to humans, you just don’t know it yet. Your plants, for example – and do not think I’m saying that with a British accent! It is “plants” not “plunts” – would be gone completely if it weren’t for us protecting that little patch.
Oh, did I mention that this story is set in the near yet distant future? I didn’t? Oh, how silly of me. I think I may need to go out and hang myself. But, I’ll get around to that later. We all know humans will destroy the planet, which is where we Guardians come into the equation. We protect everything on that landfill known as Earth. We protect plants, animals, water. Then we have the Creators. Ya know the ones that create massive fires, or floods or earthquakes – I have no idea what good the earthquakes do, but we just let them go for it. Keeps humans on their toes – and so on and so forth.
Now, I am a Guardian, in case you haven’t guessed. I am the Guardian of water, and trust me, in the future – Okay, Australia and few other countries already have water restrictions, trust me, water will become even scarcer, to the point where half the population will die from dehydration. Not a pretty sight, but that will a job for the Takers, guess what they do. With half the population gone, and almost no water, I’m even talking about the oceans here; Earth does start to become a little infertile, just a little. You can still grow stuff, but ya gotta be rich to have the water to let them grow.
Oh, right. The only ones who can afford water, since it’s become such a delicacy are the rich. Just the usual, politicians. I mean, the world doesn’t change that much. The rich get richer and the poor get poorer. And with people’s homes and wallets as empty as a politician’s promise, they turn to crime. I don’t understand why it hasn’t been legalized on Earth; it would save a lot of people. Almost all religions are gone. The only ones that remain are Catholic, Buddhism and Sadism and Masochism. Oh yes, that is turned into a religion, long after you are dead.
Other than the politician’s the only other profiting from Earth’s pathetic state are undertakers. Of course, they only get what our Takers can’t be bothered with, usually the entire body. I’ve tried to lift a dead corpse and trust me, not light. The soul is a much lighter…thing, easier to carry from one place to another.
Now, being the Guardian of water, I also get to control the rainfall and – No, Western Australia, I will not make anymore rain fall! Only when I, me, feel like it. Drop it – most of the time, how much water is consumed by the ones who can afford it. I try to pay attention as much as possible, but as I said, with Rudy around, I rarely can.
Rubin is a Creator. Sure, the only time we actually are meant to have contact is when we’re planning something, seeing as he is a fire Creator, and me being the only who controls the rain, much to the dismay of the flood Creator, who sadly shot himself last year. Hydro, you will be missed – Jackass.
Back to Rubin, who changed his name from Granat. Out of all of the Creators, Rubin is the most handsome. He stands at six five, short, usually spiked black hair and crimson eyes. Hey, we’re not human, okay? We are allowed to have weird features. Do we complain about you screwing the Earth up? Well, we do, but that’s beside the point. Leave it alone. To find out what I look like, you’ll just have to read Habsucht, won’t you? Yeah, you like that.
Anyhow, back to Rubin. In the first chapter, Sinneslust, you see how we meet, have our first kiss and how I just fall for him, hard. And I mean, literally fall for him. I actually crash down to Earth, which is a scary place to be. Especially if you don’t know anyone and they all stare at you like you’re food. Disease ridden, and yeah, almost no sun. The Guardian of the sun is a lazy son of a bitch, which is why I rarely see the sun.
Please remember, this is just the “prologue” and I can say whatever I want, because the other chapters haven’t happened yet. If I wish to call humans disease ridden, because they don’t have clean water to cleanse their wounds, and the streets of every major city look about as good as an alley behind a restaurant in Manhattan – no offense to the people who live there, you’re doing a great job – and smell about as good as a wet dog, I can. I can say all that, only to have my words shoved down my throat when I make a realization in Neid.
Well, that is about all you get from me for now. If you wish to leave a review for the author, the bitch she is, go for it. I’m tired of being locked away in her mind. She never lets me out! I need to breathe every once in a blue moon! So, if you found any of this interesting, which I high doubt, feel free to tell her how crap she really is and that I have no right to be degrading humans like that. I know you want to stand up for yourselves! Do it! Stand up for what rights you won’t have in the future! I’ve gotta go anyway. I was promised sex. Later!
The other chapters will not be in the center of the page. This one was done this way because the author is lazy and she couldn't be bothered doing it any other way. Anyway, if you liked this, which I doubt, Sinneslust will coming along very shortly.