I Can Talk You Safely To The Ground.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

(Cid)

There's a new kid in my seat. That seat in the back left corner. Yeah, the one there next to the wall. That's my desk. But....I guess I'll just take the chair next to him. I'll just leave the issue alone for now because he doesn't look very good.

Wait, no! I don't mean it like that. From what I can see, he may very well be very attractive. But I can't quite see his face since he's hiding it behind his hands, fingers spread apart so he can see through.

That's why he doesn't look good, cos he looks scared to death.

"Good morning, class." Our teacher sets his books and whatnot on his desk up front. "As you can see, we have a new student today. Vincent, would you like to tell us a little bit about yourself?" All heads turn to the corner and look at Vincent, who quickly shakes his head.

"Are you sure?" the teacher asks, but Vincent quickly nods. "Well that's alright then," the teacher says. "We'll have plenty of chances to get to know you once you get settled in. Now, is there anyone who'd like to volunteer to help Vincent around school?"

No one speaks up.

Aw, come on. Do I really have to do this? Damn. Seems like I do.

So I raise my hand.

"Ah, Cid! Thank you!" the teacher seems relieved. "Vincent, you just ask Cid there if you have any questions or anything, okay?" He goes from there, straight into the first lesson.

I look over to the new kid and try to look....I dunno....welcoming? Friendly? He just closes his fingers together so he can't see anymore.

Yuffie, sitting to my right, immediately hands me a note: "That was really nice of u, but he's a little creepy, don't u think?"

I groan internally and write her a response: "I find it sad that you take the time to draw hearts or smiley faces over every i, but you can't take the time to spell out y-o-u. D: "

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

(Vincent)

I do not want to be here. I don't like it here. I don't feel safe here. Fuck, I don't feel safe anywhere, but this place certainly doesn't help my problems. I don't want anyone to get to know me and I don't need anyone to help me around school. I'm not helpless; I can fend for myself perfectly fine. What I do need is more sleep, and to be alone.

Just....alone. With no one to put me on the spot like that, the damn bastard.

All alone. No rooms full of other kids staring at me. Waiting. What the hell do they expect from me? I know they can tell something's wrong with me. I can't hide it no matter how hard I try.

By the time the teacher started the lecture, I had already decided I wasn't going to be able to pay attention to him. I'm going to just try and think of things. Whatever comes to mind that I like the best. I think I know what it's going to be.

Sure enough, a familiar scene pops into my head. It changes around a lot, but I work to perfect this scene constantly.

He's trapped now. The fiend, the Devil himself, the monster that started my whole nightmare. I've got him now, and he'll never be able to get away from me. I watch myself grab on to his filthy hair and jerk hard. It doesn't seem to me like that hurt enough, so I do it again, harder, holding his head back. He lets out a strangled cry once he sees the knife in my other hand. He struggles uselessly to get free. When he moves around like that, it only makes the ropes dig further into his skin.

I don't want to waste my time with this today. I straddle his lap and, still leaning his head back, I make one quick slash to his throat with my knife. His body jerks underneath me as blood starts gushing from the wound. He tries to cry out, he coughs, he chokes, and warm blood spatters onto my chest. I can't stop myself from pressing against him, that one action could very likely make me come....

Oh. Goddammit.

I remember that I'm at school and not in the comfort of my Murder Room. Death Room. Knifing Place. I don't know. It doesn't have a name yet, but I like it in there.

I'm breathing quickly and my heart is beating so fast. At least my hands are in the same place I had left them. I hate getting so lost in my head and realizing that the things I'm imagining are so completely far from what's actually going on around me. Except for the fact that I have an erection. That was kind enough to stay with me.

My fingers part and my eyes open and quickly find the clock. 9:30. That's it? I suppress the urge to dig my fingernails into my face and I begin to devise a plan to get out of here.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

(Cid)

So Vincent is probably just having a bad day. It happens to the best of us. First day at a new school, a little socially anxious maybe.... Well, I can certainly understand how that wouldn't be easy for most people. And the pressure on teens to fit with the in crowds these days, blah blah, social stigmas, something or other.... Whatever. I've had my friends since kindergarten. Don't really need to care about anyone else.

Back to the point. Vincent's just having an off day. But now it's lunchtime, so we'll be able to talk now and maybe get him to cheer up a bit.

I find him sitting by himself - not surprisingly - down in the cafeteria. He's sitting in a chair staring at his lunch sack and his lunch sack is sitting on the table staring back at him.

"Mind if I sit?" I ask. He doesn't answer me though. He doesn't look at me either. He doesn't even move. So I sit across from him anyway and start to check out what I had packed for lunch. "Hm. You like turkey?" Maybe he'll be willing to trade sammiches with me.

Or....maybe not. I guess he'll just keep on being silent.

Yuffie, Tifa, Aeris, and Cloud (but not Reno. Reno has detention.) join us, but Vincent never says a word, never moves an inch, no matter what anyone says to him. Eventually, we just sort of stop trying.

After quite a while, Vincent finally does something. He grabs his lunch sack, his fingers tearing through the thin paper, and throws it to the floor. He stands up, takes his book bag, and leaves the cafeteria.

Aeris and Tifa seem mildly concerned.

Yuffie looks terrified.

Cloud tries really hard not to laugh.

And I'm left feeling very confused.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

(Vincent)

I can't go back to the house now. If I did, I would have to explain to the Williams family just why I'm done with school so early. I couldn't tell a lie that could be so easily disproved. I couldn't tell the truth either. There was no real reason for leaving school in the middle of the day; I just had to do it. They would never understand.

I feel a little better now that I'm outside of, and far away from, the school building. There's a park up ahead, so I figure I'll go see if there's anything of interest there.

Nope. There's nothing really, but it's quiet and I seem to be alone, so I'll stay here for a while and replay my scene. I won't have to hold back this time. With nobody else around, I can let myself go....

....

The sun is going down when I wake up. I'm still in the park and the ground I'm sitting on suddenly isn't as comfortable as it was when I first sat down.

My attention is drawn to the sound of leaves crunching under feet nearby. I see a man coming by down the sidewalk. My heart starts to pound as a swift adrenaline rush causes me to clumsily fumble to gather my backpack and stand up.

"He won't hurt me," I whisper to myself, trying to walk steadily, "He won't hurt me," I'll just draw more attention to myself if I run, "He won't hurt me, he won't hurt me," but a voice in my head says he might hurt me, he could hurt me, what if he does want to hurt me?"

I don't care anymore; I have to run. I couldn't not run if I wanted to. But I've done it now. He's noticed me. I try not to look, but I do, and he glances over at me.

He was just wondering why I was running. He probably just gave me a weird look.

Yeah, a weird look that said "Mmm, a tasty little boy."

Stop being so paranoid. He wasn't thinking that.

But what if he was thinking that? What if he's decided to follow me?

Where the hell do I live? I may be lost and it's almost dark now. Haven't even been in that house for a week. I don't even know if I'm going in the correct general direction.

I can't run much further. My legs have given about all they're going to give. My lungs are going to burst and my throat burns.

But I can't stop running, unless I want to be abducted. He's on my trail, he knows I'm scared, and if I pause for even a moment, he could attack.

The sun is gone and the streetlights are flickering on.

Please, please, let this be the right street. I think it just might be. ....432....434....436! Yes! With the green trim and the rose bushes. This looks about right.

I make it to the front door, but my body's not functioning well enough to get through it. My left hand says to pound incessantly on the door. My right hand says to shakily try the door knob. My legs say stop, for the love of God. My mind says fuck you, keep running. My common sense is too rattled to tell my mind that I very well can't literally run through a door. My eyes don't care about any of this and send never ending streams of tears which make everything all blurry.

The door opens, thank God, the door opens. There's some sort of noise that sounds something like "We were worried sick. Where have you been?" but I can't worry about that. I push through the door and head for the stairs. I can't stop yet; I'm not safe.

Not safe until I'm in my room. Not safe until I make sure all the bedroom windows are locked. Better hide in the closet too, just to be extra cautious. It's pitch black in the closet. I can't be seen in the dark, so I think I might be alright in here.

My head is throbbing from the lack of oxygen. I'm still gasping frantically for air. But I think I may be able to stop crying soon.

I hear a knock, and Mrs. Williams calling my name. I can't answer, or maybe I don't bother to try. My throat feels like it's been run ragged, and even my voice is too tired and too frightened right now.

She comes into the bedroom. I can see a faint glow coming through underneath the closet door, and I desperately try to move away from it.

"Vincent? Are you alright? You're not hurt, are you?" Mrs. Williams knocks on the closet door.

Just leave me alone. I need to hide and I need to be alone. Why can't my wordless sobs convey this??

"Come on. You're not in trouble. Why don't you come on out now, Vincent?" she asks. And she has a cruel advantage. One I never even considered. The light switch is outside of the closet. I don't realize this until the light above me turns on. The dark, safe, little room now a bright, open field, where my every move can be watched.

I'm starving; I haven't eaten anything all day. I might be hyperventilating, but I can't quite wrap my brain around that one. I am exhausted, inside and out; there is not a single part of me that isn't completely scared and overwhelmed. My whole body is shaking for probably more than one of these reasons. The light betrayed me, the darkness abandoned me. I can be seen, I've been found, and I'm vulnerable in this state. The door opens.

I am far from safe anymore, and I am screaming, trying to hide myself, but the walls won't take me; my hands can cover no more than my face. Screaming still, as I feel other hands try to take hold of me. I don't want to be held down. There has to be another choice, another way to handle this. If I would have been left alone in the beginning, this wouldn't be happening.

I'm fighting as hard as my body will allow. I can't possibly imagine there is any more energy left in me, but something isn't letting me go down without a fight.

The noises and voices in the room turn into one heavy sound. I can't see anymore; just random swirls of colour and mostly black. I don't even know if my eyes are open or closed. Maybe they're just the first to give up. I try to tell myself to calm down, but nothing in me will listen. I don't seem to have any power over this situation, so I retract into myself. My mind is slowing down, it will give up completely very soon, but I don't think my body is going to. I think I've lost control and I don't know what it is that's taken over.






To be continued....