Tired

I’m tired of being scared, bitter and anxious
Anticipating “it”…”It’s” coming…It wants my family
Yellow, orange, red…all blend together…fear is an ugly brown
Seeing the vengeful giant…watching thousands of innocents die senselessly

That gray morning…when Nut attacked the giant twins
I felt terror…then sorrow…then anticipation of the great nothing
Now I’m scared of my own warriors, scared of theirs…not enough…too much
I don’t want revenge, blood nor
I don’t want the head of my enemy served Herodically
I want to embrace him, to forgive him…to forgive me and find Ra again

I’m so tired of being so tired…