~Ghost in this house~

Everyone says "you'll be ok, smile you'll be fine"
I can't explain how I feel or what's goin through my mind.
seems like everyone wants a part of me, but can't seem to understand.
sometimes I feel I'm spread so thin, as small as a grain of sand.

I'm supposed to be strong ,and hold my head up high,
and I do this every single day... and try not to cry.
I know that what I'm doing is right ,and loved so true by all.
but even when I stand up straight, Still I feel so small.

At night and sometimes in the day,I just feel I disappear.
the words "a ghost in this house" has never been so clear.
unless they want a piece of me ,I feel I don't exist.
true or not the feelings there, another on my list.

I know that I will be ok and i know that I will smile,
I know that it won't happen today and that it will take awhile.
What I know right now,is not the problem here .
what I feel every night are all my wretched fears.

I've never been alone like this and even though I'm not.
I feel so very alone and just wishin it would stop.
now when I think clearer and the night turns to a new day,
I lift my head and smile and even laugh and play.

All these things I know but the ghost just doesn't rest,
I'm a ghost in this house and I'll try to do my best,
to exorcise it out and send it on it's way,
and get myself from point A to B and keep trying day to day.

I don't expect anyone to understand just bare with me all I ask.
let me lean and vent alot and I'll put behind my past.
Please don't worry I'll make it , somehow I always do.
and to the ones who love me most ...just know I love you too.

written by Yvette
09/05/07