In The Garden

In the Garden

“You want some of this Kelly?” Dennis asked. He was in the process of sitting on my brother’s chest and farting on him.

“Michael, don’t just stand there. Get this fat shit off of me.” Sean pleaded.


“Shhhh, shut the hell up!” I said.

Sean, my little brother, and my neighbor Dennis decided to have a wrestling match in the middle of raiding the garden. Dennis was only twelve but weighed about 140 lbs. He liked to throw his weight around, especially around me and my brother who didn’t equal his enormous girth combined.


With a running start I shoved Dennis as hard as I could. He moved only a few inches. I decided that a drop kick was the only thing that might move him.

“If you don’t get off my brother I’m gonna drop you like the Macho Man.” I said.

He looked at me waiting to see if I would follow through. He was testing me. He unleashed another tremendous fart onto my brother as I jumped at him. I caught him directly in the small of his lower back as he tried to avoid the kick. He dropped to his knees and yelped in pain.

“Why did you do that?” Dennis asked. He acted as if he was attacked without warning.

“You deserve it jerk. My clothes smell like your dinner.” Sean said. He got up and brushed the dirt off his sweatshirt and jeans.

“My mom’s gonna kill me when she sees this dirt on my pants” Dennis said.

“Then why did you wear good jeans out into the garden. And why did you decide to attack Sean?” I said

Sean was standing next to me scowling as hard as he could at Dennis.

“Now please stop crying and be quite. Do you want to get caught? Why don’t you go over there to Mrs. Crawford’s patch and see if she has any ripe tomatoes. Dennis! Remember, no green ones, you’ll break somebody’s window. Okay?” I said.

Dennis slowly got up and looked at us. His eyes were moist and his new jeans were stained brown and green from squashing somebody’s zucchini plant. He looked horrible with his lip stuck out and head hung low. He broke the silence with another earth shattering fart.

“Did you just shit your pants?” Sean asked.

We all broke out in uncontrollable belly laughs.



The victory garden was located at the edge of the park that separated our town from the city. The park itself was huge, 100 plus acres just south of Boston. The garden was sectioned off so that anyone who was interested could have their own little lot. There was a waiting list hundreds of names long to get a small plot of land to grow your own vegetables. Some people had waited year’s even decades to get into the garden. Our father, having grown up in town was one of the few that had a garden in the lot since the beginning. We knew every one who had a garden. We were constantly forced to water and weed during the summer. Despite all this, we didn’t give a second thought to raiding the garden on summer evenings. The garden was our armory. It was a place to collect ammunition for a night of bombarding cars that passed by or kids from other neighborhoods.



Sean followed me over to our neighbor’s garden as Dennis went the other way. We were happy to steal from old Mr. Dempsey’s tomatoes. That way our dad was sure to have the biggest on the block.

“ Why do we even bother with that fat ass?” Sean asked

“He’s not so bad. Plus he doesn’t have any other friends. His mom sends him to Saint Sebastian’s. So nobody else really knows him.” I said.

“Their not missing much, he’s just a dumb oaf.”

“Whatever, you like his pool though don’t you.”

“Yeah, and his sisters not too bad either”

We both paused in reflection of Dennis’ sister Candice sunbathing in next to nothing. We then went about the business of collecting our arsenal. All of us were sure to pick out the reddest tomatoes. I would squeeze them to make sure they were ripe enough, the softer the better. Half rotten tomatoes were even better, not only would it be sure to splatter all over its intended target. It would wreak as well adding insult to injury.

Sean and I filled our both our bags saving the best to eat as we waited for night to fall. As we ran across the adjacent field towards the woods, Dennis came lumbering after us with his own bag of produce.

“You wanna go to the swing and wait” Dennis said, panting.

“Sure.” Sean and I said simultaneously. We ran through the woods with youthful exuberance. We leapt over patches of poison ivy, under overhanging vines, and through tunnels of Rhododendron. The swing was where all kids who had yet to discover the wonders of alcohol hung out during summer evenings. It was an old rope swing triple knotted at the bottom. It allowed a kid to swing from either side of the summer’s swollen stream. On this particular evening the swing was all our own.

“You wanna go first?” Dennis asked

“No, you can go.” I said

“What about me?” Sean asked

“You’re only ten. I’m older so I go first.” Dennis said.

“Michael’s older than you by two and a half months.”

“That’s why I asked him. You can just wait your turn.”

“I bet you can’t even make it to the other side without slipping.” Sean said.

“Watch me.”

Dennis grabbed hold of the rope and stepped a few feet back. He made the mistake of simply leaping on to the knot in stead of getting a running start. His weight carried him to the other side of the stream where he reached out for the edge with one of his feet. His foot grazed the grass but he was too late and started to swing back across the stream.

“I told you.” Sean said.

Dennis gave a defiant glare as he leaned into his next swing determined to make it to the other side. He had the distance and planted both feet on the bank of the stream. However, he forgot to let go of the rope. Instead of completely letting go he held on to avoid falling in. Since he had stepped down, his legs dangled into the water making his dirty jeans a muddy mess.

I couldn’t help but laugh along with my brother as Dennis made his way over from the swing to sit next to us defeated. My brother was smart enough to only laugh and avoided further comment. We waited out the remaining sunlight eating tomatoes and talking about baseball.



“Alright, remember throw right before they pass that tree so they can’t turn right around.” I said

“I remember.” Sean said.

“Do you guys remember where we said we’d meet.” I asked.

“Behind Dr. Bonner’s property.” Said Dennis “Crap, I left my Sox hat back at the swing, someone’s gonna take it.”

“We’ll go get it later. It’s dark anyway, nobody will be able to see it.” I said.

“I’ve got to go get it, my mom will kill me if I loose my hat.” Said Dennis.

“Just wait we’ll all go back together when we run out of ammo.” Said Sean.

“You’ll miss all the fun if you leave now.” I said.

“I know it will be gone if we wait.” Said Dennis

“Nobody is going to steal your stinkin’ hat” Sean said.

“Well then go get it if you can’t wait.” I said

“You gotta come with me.” Dennis said.

“I’m not going anywhere. You’re the one that forgot your hat. You probably dropped in the water. That hat has drifted far away by now.” I said.

“I don’t even remember you wearing a hat.” Sean said

“I wasn’t wearing it. I had it in my back pocket.” Dennis said.

“Why would you bring your hat and not even wear it?” asked Sean.

“I don’t know. Cuz I felt like it” Said Dennis. He punched Sean in the side of the arm.



Lights shone from around the corner.



“Here comes a car. Get ready.” I said.

We all wound up ready to throw strikes. Three little Roger Clemens’ waiting for the signal. A small pick up came around the corner followed by two smaller cars.

“Aim for the one in the middle” I said.

As the cars passed we heaved the juicy grenades at the passing motorists. THUD,THUD,THUD! We watched as the white car in the middle came to a screeching halt, as did the car behind it. The driver jumped out of his car and scanned the mess that was his hood. There was a wash of red pulp and tiny seeds spread across the entire front of his car. We all stood wide eyed at the scene not knowing what to make of it. Nobody had ever stopped in the middle of the road before. Most people pulled over or turned into the next street giving us plenty of time to disappear into the woods.

“I’m going to kill you little motherfuckers. Get over hear. NOW!” said the victim.

“RUN.” I said.

We turned and started our sprint to the woods. I looked back and saw the man coming around his car starting to chase us across the field. He left his car in the middle of the road.

“He’s coming after us. Run like hell. When we get to the woods split up.” I said

Sean and I made it to the edge of the woods together. We stopped and turned around to see Dennis right behind us and the man directly behind him and closing fast.

“Dennis run.” I yelled. “Come on.”

“He’s screwed, wait I want to see what happens.” Sean said.

“I’ve got a better idea. Let’s nail him” I said.

Sean and I both grabbed more ammunition from our back packs. We both aimed and fired. Sean hit the man square in the chest from 50 feet. The man stopped and ducked, he looked around and started to run toward Sean and me.

“Holy shit. Let’s go.”

We jumped into the woods and ran as fast and as far as we could. I never even looked back to see how close the man came to catching us. Sean stayed by side through the entire chase. We finally ran out of breath and collapsed behind a wall where we had planned to meet.

“You nailed that guy. You were like Doug Flutie throwing bombs. Bam, right in the chest. That was awesome. I bet that guy would have strangled us if he caught up.” I said.

“We also saved Dennis’ slow ass. I hope he knows enough to lay low.” Said Sean.

It was almost an hour until Sean and I decided to go look for Dennis. He never came to our planned meeting spot. We agreed that he was most likely either caught and dead or looking for his baseball cap. As we neared the swing we could hear laughing and Dennis whaling.

“Holy crap. That guy caught him.” Said Sean.

“Oh no. What is he doing to him?” I said.

“I don’t know but it doesn’t sound good.” More laughing and sobs came from ahead.

“That doesn’t sound like the guy. It doesn’t even sound like a man. That’s kids up there.” I said.

“Who is it?” asked Sean.

“How do I know?” I said.

“What should we do?”

“I don’t know.” But I knew we had to do something. Dennis was a crybaby and whined constantly but what was coming from the swing was different.

“Let’s just go sneak up and see what’s going on. Be quite and watch your step.” I said.

We crept up behind a small group of older kids. When one of them lit a cigarette I recognized him as Ralph Fucillo. Ralph was in high school and a real asshole. He had stolen a bike from St. Sebastian’s last fall and left it near our house. I was suspected as being the thief till he got caught trying to do it again. As my eyes adjusted I made out two other guys, Tommy Williams and Andrew Pinsky. The moon was bright and I could see they were drinking beers and pushing Dennis into the stream. Ralph was wearing Dennis’ Baseball hat.

“What now?” Sean whispered

I raised my hands palms up. I wasn’t sure what to do. Dennis tried again to get up out of the water.

“Where do you think your going?” Ralph asked. Tom and Andrew laughed as Dennis cried and fell down at Ralph’s feet.

“I just want my hat so I can go home.” Dennis said.

“You ain’t getting your hat. You can go home whenever you want.” Said Ralph.

As Dennis stood up Ralph punched him in the stomach causing Dennis to fall down to his knees. All three boys laughed as Dennis choked and tried to get his breath back. Ralph poured the end of his beer out on Dennis as he lay on the ground gasping.



Sean tapped me on the shoulder. He had a tomato in his hand. I shook my head. I was proud to see that Sean wanted to help. He didn’t even like Dennis. I watched as all three boys took turns drinking and pushing Dennis around.

“I know your sister.” Ralph said.

“She’s a sweet piece of ass.” Said Tom.

“She a fucking slut.” Said Andrew.

“I would fuck that slut right here. I would bend her over and stick this beer can right in her ass.” Ralph said. “Your sister is going to have a ton of fun with me.”

Dennis looked up and just cried. He was beaten down and bloody. Out of shear desperation he lunged at Ralph. Ralph caught him and grabbed his arm twisting it behind Dennis’ back. He kept twisting as Dennis screamed in pain. With out thinking about it I jumped out of the woods.

“Leave him alone.” I screamed. I scanned the ground and found a stick I could use to defend myself.

“Little Michael Kelly. What are you gonna do if I don’t.” Ralph said.

I had no answer. I realized my situation and became scared to death.

“Just leave him alone. Can’t you just let him go. He didn’t do anything.” I said.

“You want to take his place.” Tom asked.

“You guys think your so tough cuz your in high school.” I said

Ralph threw Dennis to the ground. He stood there looking at me. He stared at me. Then Andrew grabbed my arm from behind. He took my stick and held both my arms.

“What are you little shits doing out here anyway. You know you don’t belong here.” Ralph said.

Tom came over and poured beer over my head. All three boys laughed. Sean came out of the bushes and hit Andrew in the head with a stick. I got free and wrestled with Tom and Andrew while Ralph grabbed Sean.

“How many little fuckers are out here?” Andrew asked.

“A hundred.” screamed Sean.

“You little pip squeak. You don’t even know the mistake you just made.” said Andrew.

He rubbed his head and let go of my right arm. I tried to push away from Tom but he was too strong. He put me in a bear hug.

“I’m gonna kill you.” Andrew said. He picked up the stick Sean had hit him with. He jabbed Sean in the chest hard. Sean began too cry.

“Fuck you Pinsky. I’m gonna tell the cops.” I said.

“Your not gonna do anything.” Ralph said. He pushed Sean to the ground.

Ralph walked over to where Tom was holding me and punched me in the stomach. Tom let go and I flopped in the dirt trying to catch my breath. I looked over at Sean crying and saw Dennis behind Ralph. Dennis screamed and gave a mighty blow to Ralph’s face as he turned to see who was screaming. Ralph fell to the ground. He began to twitch. All of us stood and looked at Dennis. He dropped the giant boulder he had hit Ralph with. He looked like a little monster. His clothes were torn his body was bloody and his hair was wild.

“You killed him.” Andrew said.

“You fucking killed him.” Tom said.

Dennis stood over Ralph as he jerked around. Tom and Andrew Bolted. Sean began to cry again. I looked at Dennis and then at Ralph. I looked back at Dennis. He spit on Ralph as he continued to have a spasm on the ground.

“Dennis what did you do?” I said.

“I don’t care. He isn’t going to touch my sister anymore.” He said.

Dennis leaned over and grabbed his hat. He turned and started to walk back to the garden. I picked up Sean and followed. Ralph gave a faint grunt as we left him bleeding on the ground.

“We have to call the police.” Sean said.

“We will. Wait till we get home.” I said.

When we reached the edge of the woods Dennis stood at the edge looking towards the road. Beyond the garden two patrol cars were lighting up the night with blue and white. Leaning over the hood was Tommy Williams and Andrew Pinsky. Directly behind them and next to the police was the man who had chased them earlier. His white car sat there as well, still covered in Tomato. He made hand gestures and nodded as he yelled at the police. He began pointing at the two leaning on the police car. The three of us stood silent staring at what we believed to be ironic justice.

We all went home and parted without a word. Later that evening the police came to our house. They questioned Sean and I about what happened to Ralph Fucillo. We both played dumb. Ralph had been found by Dennis’ sister Candice. Tommy and Andrew were blamed for the assault on the man’s car . They were also held responsible for all the missing vegetables that had been reported stolen that summer.



Ralph was in the hospital for weeks. He came in and out of consciousness. Sean and I even went to see him. Neither of us felt bad, we simply wanted to see. After a few months he was released. He was a little slower, but not as mean. Ralph was never quite the same. The same could be said about Dennis.

After that summer Dennis and I drifted apart as young friends sometimes do. Dennis never got in trouble for hurting Ralph. If Tommy and Andrew had told on him it seemed nobody believed the garden thieves. Dennis was also never picked on again. He turned a little tough. The few times we did hang out after the night in the garden were different. What used to be roughhousing turned into bullying. Sean wouldn’t even go near Dennis. Sean said that the evil spirit living in Ralph somehow entered Dennis as he stood over him during the seizure. Dennis was never quite the same.