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For, and about, a wonderful loved woman |
Before my grandma Louise got hit with her stroke she used to go to Atlantic City every weekend. Even though she only played penny or dollar games, she still had the time of her life, and had a silly habit, to my momâs annoyance, of translating her Sunday playtime to proverbs. Her favorite, and most famous, saying was âmy dear, when you face a wild bet, always cover your rearâ. She married very young, and had my mom and my aunt swiftly, one after the other. She became a widow at quite a young age too, barely fifty five, but spent her belated singlehood well. She was beautiful, elegant, and surprisingly flirty in a friendly, amused manner. Coquettish as she was, her love life during her golden years was much livelier and fun than mine ever were, ever since I was a teenager. Before the stroke usurped the muscles in her face, her expressions used to change rapidly, reflecting a quick mind, and a bit of a temper, which was well reined by a sense of humor and a kind heart. Her eyebrows were always a bit raised, as if she were constantly ready to pick up an exciting piece of news (she absolutely loved to hear gossip, though never admitted it, and never passed it on). She knew how to keep a straight face and then flash a fresh, warm, contagious smile that made you feel like youâre standing in a ray of light. Until her retirement she worked as a nurse. She wanted to become a doctor but my great grandparents couldnât afford the tuition. âAfter you see what I have seen, honeyâ she said once, âyou understand weâre all gamblers. We gamble from the moment we take these fragile bodies out of our warm beds, thru the time we manage to get back there at nightâ. But the experiences at the hospital didnât make a pessimist out of her, on the contrary. She appreciated life more and made sure to enjoy her body. Grandma Louise always kept at least two men on the date roll, and that used to shock my mom every single time. Grandma said sheâs too old (and that was the only time she referred to herself like that) to hang around for anyone to be available to her. Thatâs why she hated the men Iâve been dating â I had a gift for picking those who linger, waver, hesitate, and break away without a warning. I was a âblind bettorâ as she called me, putting all my chips on an unlikely number, instead of covering the field with even bets. âAlways cover your rear, dear, always!â After yet another guy broke my heart, she wanted to comfort and plant some wisdom in me with a story she particularly liked. âAn old wood-legged woman with a light limp approaches the pit boss, saying âI have 1 million dollar, and I want to spend it all here in just one bet, but first let me talk to the casino managerâ. As the manager comes down to greet her she says âlisten son, I bet this 1 million right here right now that you canât guess which one of my legs is made of woodâ. The casino manager, smirking, starts examining her legs, but she is wearing thick dark pantyhose, and heâs feeling a bit confounded. âYou can touch them, sirâ, she says confidently, âbut only bellow the kneeâ, she adds in a quiet tone of modesty.â âWell, the wood-legged old lady is little, and the manager is over 6 feet tall. So, in front of the entire guests of the casino, he crouches down, gets on all four, and bows his head in the way servants used to bow to the Chinese emperor. One touch is sufficient to determine the answer, and as sure as heaven, he wins his 1 mill.â âWith joy brimming over his tight necktie, he needs a touch of a single malt to calm down. He asks the lady to his office and offers her a glass of a 16 year old Lagavulin he has been saving for special occasions. As she takes down the scotch quite bravely for her age, he canât help but ask her âwhat made you make such a doomed bet?ââ âShe reclines back in a chair as if sheâs about to catch up on her knitting and spits the answers: âI made a bet with three of your highrollers that I could have the casino manager at my feet in just five minutes. I made 5 million.ââ Come on, grandma! That joke is so old! And thatâs the PG version â isnât she betting heâll balls will drop, and after he letâs her check she wins a side bet for getting him by the balls? âWell, you donât expect me to start talking like that, do you? And you shouldnât either, sweetheart. Thatâs not very ladylike.â And she winked at me. She kept a smart appearance and attitude, but there was a mischievous streak in her that saved her from being stuffy. âI know this story is older than sin, but youâre missing the point, honey - Now thatâs a smart woman for you! Keeps a man at her feet while he thinks heâs ahead.â Sheâs always been a smart woman, but nothing prepared her for this. I watch her struggle to speak and reclaim her beautiful face. Even in her composure, I can tell by the look in her eyes that she is angry and insulted. I know that temper as I know my own. After a long and trying time she managed to recuperate some control on her left arm, and now goes to money-casino.com instead of the Atlantic City boardwalk. But sheâs a social creature who feels lonely just staring at the computer screen. You can imagine her look of pity when I told her about online dating services: âYour generation just doesnât know how to live! Hiding behind aliases and words, and software. When someone is right for you, your body will tell you, not your email!â. She respected intellect, but in her core she believed in the mysteries of the flesh. âWhen youâre picking a winner, just follow your blood, honey,â she used to say. But her own blood â overflowing with vitality, with whatever particles of enthusiasm, optimism, and adventure that make life worth living â it betrayed her one day. It just clogged up, and brought her to a halt. Itâs the face that hurt her pride most. Her feminine vanity wonât let her accept any of her âgentlemen callersâ as they were once referred to. Her professional pride makes her loathe being the patient instead of the caregiver. I wish I could bring her old body back. I wish I could help her. I wish I could give her some comfort. I wish I could make everyone see who she is and why I love so much. I wish I could make you love life like she does still. |