Running From Trepidation (Chapter One)

Sonny's parents had been sending him to Carol And Sean Psychiatrist for quite some time now, they would roughly estimate two years worth of sessions with there sons shrink, Dr Alum. Sonny had no idea what drove his parents to force him to the doctors once a week maybe it was his lack of drive or apathy, or the even more severe problems like hallucinations and delusions which where having a huge negative impact on his social life and emotions, he'd become socially withdrawn or socially sick as he would phrase it. Sonny's parents noticed around Christmas two years ago, when Sonny was fourteen, that his usual boisterous and extroverted self had disappeared altogether, his usually exited tone of voice had become sombre and flat, he stopped laughing at his fathers jokes, most of them would have made him cry with laughter and ribs ache if it weren't for the sudden mood change. Sonny then stopped turning up for school, either skipping school when he was made to go, faking sickness when it was most believable and leaving his mother in tears as he sped from the house after slamming the door in her face, running to his favorite place an old deserted park, with a rusted swing, broken sea-saw and weather beaten slippery dip, it was his sanctuary, a place where he could gain some peace and release his emotions, no one ever went there, he liked being alone. It took a few sessions with Dr Alum to work out Sonny's sudden desire to not participate in school he was a good student kept his head down and did the work, but he had started having anxiety attacks as he would call it, saying a group of students at the school were conspiring to get him and that he felt neither safe at school or when he was walking home afterwards. Of course, the school investigated the matter after Dr Alum had addressed them with it once Sonny had left his session that same afternoon as his school phobia confession. The principal and teachers were hooded from such a problem and the students in question were found to be top grade students, with a clean record and had very little to do with Sonny at any time, let alone want to hurt or scare him. After Sonny's confessions on his school problems, a flood of fear and anger bought out a jealous streak in him, and was it green. He spent an unusually long time in the shrinks office that week, confiding his feelings and thoughts to Dr Alum. "I'm the better student of that class, my attendance has gone down the drain I know that, but they left me no choice, they favor the dumb-asses of the class, giving them A's and leaving me with a C, when I've done the work finished and handed up on time, and they hand theirs up a week late, only half complete and still walk away with an A on their paper, I hate it, I hate them" Sonny had said, as Dr Alum took notes in his little blue folder he carried around everywhere. It was Sonny's Diary, it held all the records and notes of Sonny's previous sessions, so Dr Alum could look over them and hopefully work out and diagnose Sonny's problem. It didn't take Dr Alum that long to diagnose Sonny, not even a month later Dr Alum had called Sonny's parents and asked them to come into the Psychiatrists as he had Sonny's Diagnostics.
Sonny was a little fearful on hearing his problem, but that was nothing to how his parents were feeling. They were praying to god that once they found out the problem that it could be easily fixed with pills or a treatment of some sort. "Mr and Mrs Loveless, and Sonny of course" he had said as he opened the door to his office, they were ushered inside, and Dr Alum hung the 'In Session' sign on his door. "Well I'll just get straight to the point, after six months of sessions I have concluded my study of Sonny and his behavior, emotion and so forth, and I'm sorry to inform you that your son has a severe case of Schizophrenia, Paranoid Schizophrenia to be precise." Dr Alum closed his little blue folder and put it on his desk. Sonny's mother had burst into tears;Mr Loveless had comforted her and then taken her home for a strong cup of coffee and chocolate biscuits. The doctor had then called Mr Loveless and discussed methods of treatments which later on Mr Loveless could relay to his wife once the shock had worn of and she'd calmed down. So now. Sonny was forced every week to seek treatment for his Schizophrenia, Sonny had the feeling it wasn't working so great though, of course they had thrown him straight on to Anti-psychotic drugs but nothing else could be done, every time Sonny tried to explain to his parents that Dr Alum was only stealing their money because nothing more than his pills could really be done, but they just shook it off and said, "Don't try and trick us into stopping that treatment, you need it ok" and then they would ignore the subject until Sonny would bring it up again, only to be ended once more in the same result. Sonny had finally just given up on telling his parents that the sessions were a waste of time and effort, he just started keeping to himself and to his shabby little bedroom. His bedroom was a very light shade of Grey, the walls were covered in posters of his favorite bands and little sticky notes with important little messages to himself like Memento Mori- which Is Latin for Remember you will die and another one goes along the lines of Dum Spiro, Spero which is also Latin for As long as I breathe I hope. Sonny's little post -its on his walls scared his parents, once in the middle of the night when Sonny was creeping down the hall to the kitchen, he heard them talking in bed. "They are scary Arthur^ he needs more help than we are giving him" he heard his mothers voice. "No dear, we can't drown the boy in pills and doctors, he would be nothing more than a corpse, a fried brain" he heard his father reply. This wasn't the only thing that had freaked Sonny's parents out. Sonny has the knack for talking with the television or radio, for instance, just the other day Sonny was sitting in the lounge room with his parents, sprawled on the floor and drawing a huge dragon on a piece of paper when an ad came on for kitchen knives, the ad showed a chef demonstrating the knives sharpness and strength and at then end of the ad he said "you must buy yours today" and Sonny got up, walked to the phone and dialed the number. His dad had taken the phone of him and hung up. Sonny got angry. "What did you do that for?" he'd asked. "Why were you dialing the number for that stupid junk?" he said, jabbing his thumb back towards the TV set. "It told me I needed to get mine today, they gave me an order" Sonny said, reaching for the phone again, his father ripped the plug from the wall so Sonny couldn't further attempt to ring the knife company. "This isn't a boot camp, you don't take orders here, especially from TV sets" said his father. Sonny stormed from the room into the kitchen to get a glass of water, he heard his parent's frantic whispers through the paper thin walls. "He's taken orders from TV sets Arthur, I fear for him" his mother had said, a quaver of distress in her very tight voice. Mr Loveless just sat, patting his wife's back and saying, "It's ok Lisa dear, it's ok." Sonny ignored them and went to his room, closed the door and then lay in his bed for hours, thinking up stories and telling them to himself. Sonny had only ever told one friend of his condition, even if he wanted to tell more friends he couldn't, he only had the one. December, she was his next-door neighbor and an extremely sporty and energetic girl, like the old Sonny. December is too smart for her own good, she had realized Sonny's schizophrenia way long before either Dr Alum or Mr and Mrs Loveless. When they went to the sanctuary, she would notice that he would stare at his hands for hours, zoning out and ignoring anything she said, even if it was mean or crude. She had looked on the Internet for symptoms of different things, linking each symptom to an illness as she saw Sonny do it. First was the hand staring then there was accusations of extreme sorts like, "She tried to poison my food", or "That guy over there just tried to steal my wallet" even when he was exactly where Sonny had said, over there, no where near Sonny or his wallet. December was in love with Sonny, she had been his next-door neighbor since she had moved in from America when she was five-, their parents organizing play dates at that stage for them. They had always gone to the same schools, stayed at each others houses, shared everything together, even one time sharing a very special moment, a kiss on the weather beaten slippery dip in The Sanctuary, December relived that moment in her dreams and thoughts every day and night. Sonny, been the arrogant and brainless male, hadn't noticed the signals that December was giving him, a long French kiss on a slippery dip with a sunset in the background is one huge signal, but Sonny failed to notice even that sign. "Stupid males" December would mutter under her breathe. Sonny never heard that mutter or any of the others mind you, because he became to tangled up, talking to himself and laughing at perfectly normal things. "His pills aren't working" his father had informed Dr Alum just before Sonny started his weekly "torture" as he would call it. Sonny having started experiencing hallucinations saw chains and whips and torturing equipment inside Dr Alums office instead of the racing green leather couch, the puffy brown foot stools, the wooden ducks hanging from the walls and the tinted glass windows that opened Dr Alum's office to the bridge of the Sydney harbor and the spectacular view of the water and boats bobbing in it, quiet tranquil and relaxing, a good mood for a psych office Sonny thought, laughing to himself again as he would fall back to earth and the hallucination melted away before his eyes. "So you started hearing voices?" was the first question Dr Alum asked, scribbling with his fountain tip pen on his blue folder.

"They aren't just voices, they are my friends" he replied vaguely. "Are they speaking to you now?" asked the doctor. "Yes they are giving me instructions," Sonny said, getting up and walking over to Dr Alum's desk. "Are they asking you to look through my belongings?" asked Dr Alum. "No," said Sonny grabbing a pen from the table and taking off the lid. "Sonny what are they saying, you must tell me" said Dr Alum trying to keep his cool. Sonny started speaking fast and fluent Latin in a deep and menacing tone Dr Alum, who fell back on his chair as Sonny started towards him, the pen still in his hand. "vos ero mortuus pro vos ledo humus" he walked past the doctor, who was panting on the ground frozen in fear, his brown and yellow dotted tie flung over his shoulder. Sonny walked to the only blank section of wall that wasn't covered in some form of taxidermy and wrote on the wall once more in Latin. Is quoniam quis is diligo. "What do all these things mean?" asked the doctor as Sonny stormed toward him angrily. "Have these friends of yours said anything else too you?" asked the doctor. "Shut up old man" Sonny advanced and the doctor backed away, holding his hands in front of him, trying to calm Sonny down so no one was harmed. Sonny was as in as much danger as Dr Alum, even when Sonny was threatening him with the pen. "They have shown me what you are, a threat, I can gain power and I can rule this world, one thing can stop me though and I must get rid of it" Sonny said his knuckles whitening as he increased his grip on the pen. "What can stop you Sonny?" asked Dr Alum, edging along the wall to the door, trying to find the handle and safety. "You" said Sonny lurching forward, driving the pen deep into his doctor's neck. Sonny dragged the doctor's body across the floor, his blood smearing on the brown wooden floorboards. Sonny hung Dr Alum's body from the horn of a decapitated rhino, leaving the pen still deep in the side of his neck, bending close to whisper. "The words I spoke to your before old man were, you'll be dead before you hit the ground" Sonny smiled, prodding the limp body with a finger. "I gave you a warning, gave you time, who's problem is it that they couldn't understand Latin, Oh I forgot you cant answer me." Sonny said letting out a hair raising, murderous giggle. "Cause your dead!" He walked towards the door, opened it and walked out, but just before he closed it, he poked his head back in. "Oh by the way, I'll leave you hanging on the answer to the other Latin on the wall," he said, emphasizing hanging with a suppressed chuckle. As soon as Dr Alum's door snapped shut Sonny snapped out of his diabolic state, aware of what he had done, and scared of what was to come of it. He couldn't stop himself, he was powerless against his friends, they made him do something he didn't want, and they told him it would benefit him. Why were they doing these things to him? The only thing he could think of was to run, run to the park and to December, she would help him. Luckily Sonny's father had to work today and was only able to drop Sonny off, he would have to find his own way home and his mother couldn't drive so that wasn't and option either, but at the moment Sonny was glad for these two circumstances.
Sonny walked from the psychologists, trying not to look suspicious and as soon as he was out of sight of the place, he set of at a run, towards the train station. He didn't stop running until he reached the ticket barrier, hurriedly buying a ticket for the train, as he was about to miss it. The cops would be after him soon, where in the world could he hide? December would help him. Sonny nearly bumped into the policeman that was patrolling the station, he was lent up against a sign that read "Central Station". "Whoa, you there" said the policeman, grabbing the back of Sonny's shirt. Sonny freaked, had they found the body, do the police know? He tried to break free. "Hey, settle mate," said the policeman letting go of his shirt. "Just watch where your going, if I was and old lady," he said, walking of and shaking his head. Sonny bolted down some steps that lead through a bright archway that led into the station, bustling with the everyday workers, tourists and beggars that filtered it. Sonny bolted past an old man, wrapped up in newspaper and had a sign around his neck reading "spare change" out onto the platforms, looking for number two. The train to Artarmon w^s pelting up the tracks, swaying and creaking with the force of the wind and un-oiled joints. He jumped on the train, sitting next to a stack of bikes, which looked to belong to the riding group in front of him. "Careful, don't knock them over" said a women, removing her sunglasses and tucking them in the v of he professional riding shirt, which matched her professional riding shoes and pants and helmet, the other riders wore the same. "I won't" Sonny had said, crossing his arms and leaning his legs as far away from the bikes, just in case. Post offices, buildings, stations and people doing their daily business flashed past like multi-colored blurs, Sonny was now stretched out to his full extent, the bikers having left at the North Sydney station. Sonny finally hopped of at Artarmon, leaving his fellow travelers to continue on, but not his guilty conscience or his aching stomach and frightened mind. Police sirens jolted Sonny back into gear, he pelted for home, letting his instinct guide him to the right street, he was running so fast that the signs were nothing but a white blob, splattered in black. He saw ahead of him his street, Rochester Street, and on him dawned something he didn't think of before, what if the police had found the body and realized who did it, they would be waiting on the doorstep for him. As Sonny neared home, a flood of feeling flew back into his lead filled legs, no cop cars. Sonny jumped the fence at the comer of the road; his house was number one, and burst through the unlocked front door, racing down the hall to his room to pack a few necessities. As he passed the third door on the right he heard his mother singing in the shower, she wouldn't bother him, she wouldn't even realize he's here. He sped into his room, lightly closing the door behind him, pulling his school gym bag of the top of his cupboard and grabbing handfuls of things and stuffing them as neatly and quickly as he could into it. He grabbed his mobile and called December, he could see her from his bedroom in hers, and she answered. "Hey Sonny, what's up?" she said, happily and unawares of the messed up problems she was about to be thrown into, head first. "I just killed someone, we need to go now, they will come for me, we must go, pack anything you will need, I cant go without you, I need your help" Sonny said hurriedly, He glanced out his window and noticed the quizzed look on Decembers face through hers.

"What Sonny, that made no sense, tell me slowly" she said, sitting on the windowsill and staring over at Sonny as he spoke. "Ok, I just killed Dr Alum, my shrink," said Sonny, December nearly falling out of her open window in shock. "What Sonny, how, why, that's ridiculous" she said, grabbing her throbbing ear, where she'd whacked it on a low part of the window. "I dunno, I went demonic, I had no control, some voice spoke for me and someone controlled my movements, I didn't do it" said Sonny, almost crying there and then on the spot, December understood him instantly. "You have been acting strange, oh my god. Sonny its your Schizophrenia" she said knowledgably. Sonny looked out his window and stuck one thumb down, letting his bottom lip drop. "Tell the police" she said, pretending to draw three invisible zeros with her finger in the air. "I can't go to the police, I'll tell them my story and they'll chuck me in a mental facility" Sonny said, imitating him strung up in a straight jacket. "I'm leaving," he said, holding up his stuffed gym bag "I want you to come with me" he said giving her puppies eyes up against his window, she was his last hope of survival in a world that was hunting for him. "What about, school and my parents?" she asked, disappointment resonated in her voice; she loved school and her parents. "We leave it all behind, leave no notes and no trace of existence, I can't be found" he said, popping down under his bed and pulling the shoe he'd been searching for out and stuffing it in the bag with its other half. "It's an awfully huge and hard thing to as of she said, looking over to her bedside table at the picture of her and her mother and father on holidays back in America, visiting grandma and grandpa. "Ok I'll do it," she said after five minutes thought. Sonny was dancing around like he had ants in his pants, he'd been home half an hour already. "This is only cause I love you, you know that right?" she said, holding up a fist playfully at her window. "Yeah of course" said Sonny, who smiled, showing those white straight teeth, they hadn't braced the world for a very long time. December smiled to, then she jumped of the sill and raced around her room, grabbing a bag and stuffing it full of the same things as Sonny, shirts, pants, undies, socks, one pair of shoes, toothbrush and paste and a hair tie. Sonny had left a hair tie out but compensated with a beanie. Sonny and December met in the back alley as they had planned, hiding behind two Grey dustbins as they checked and double-checked that they both had everything they thought they would need. "I guess this is it," said December, turning around and peering over the fence at her to soon be, previous home. "Guess so" said Sonny, doing the same, before turning around and heading down the alley, grabbing December's hand. It felt like a red-hot poker had been jabbed into her heart as Sonny's body warmth was sapped up into hers, she felt elated and for once in her life, happy to be alive. "Where do we go from here?" asked Sonny, swinging December's hand at their sides. "Any ideas?" she asked him, beaming as the strolled down hill, back toward the train station, sirens still faintly ringing in the distance. "The sanctuary" Sonny said, steering them both toward safety as they new it.

TOO BE CONTINUED!!