The Story of a Guy in Love

I love this girl. People say love doesn't exist in kids hearts, to that I say then they have never met this girl. Her name's Alison. To me, that's the second most beautiful name in the world. I call her Ali for short. I've been crushing on her for a couple months now, I wonder if she notices. Everyone at school knows, so I guess it's pretty obvious. I think that's alright though, because I could careless if everyone knows I like the most beautiful girl in school. I mean, it's sorta hard not to like her. As you can see, this girl basically is the world to me. I've heard from friends that she's starting to like me too. A thought came to my mind. This could be the beginning of my very own love story.

Ali's my friend. To her, just friends. That's the way it's always been. It sounds a little like that movie "Just Friends" considering thats what I just said we were. I see her everyday at school, and almost every weekend. We hangout a lot, but were friends, she likes another guy, what can I do? Exactly, nothing. Because were strictly friends. I wonder if we'll ever be more.

The whole idea of her liking me was just shot to the ground. Shes with a different guy. They made it official last night when he asked her out, online. Who does that? I mean if it were me, this is what I would do: Tell her to come over, and we could lay outside and look at the stars. And if it got cold, then I'd give her my sweatshirt. I would hold her pretending that if I ever let go I would lose her forever. Then I'd kiss her forehead and quietly whisper in her ear if she wanted to go out with me. But you know, that's just me.

Ali never liked me and never will. I have a feeling she told people she liked me just to get my hopes up, to be a tease. I despise girls like that. I hate flirts. I hate flings. I love relationships. I just think I've never been in a good one. I was hoping Ali would be my first good one. But now that she has yet another boyfriend, it's never gonna happen. We flirt so much when we hangout, and I always come to the conclusion that she wants me. I think it's more the opposite. After shes done playing with my mind, she goes and flirts with my friends, right in my damn face. She doesn't know how much it hurts, but she also doesn't know how I feel, so I guess she can't really take blame. I wish she could, I wish she could see how much I like her, how beautiful she is, how much better she looks than a sunset over the ocean, how theres only one girl that's more beautiful than her. Yeah, if only wishes came true.

Ali hates me. I'm stammering over words in my head to fulfil my thoughts on how beautiful her eyes are. Where as she is probably just thinking about her immodest boyfriend. I was thinking about telling her how I feel after school. We were at my friend's house and I took her outside and did just that. Only it didn't really fall into place like I hoped it would, but this is how it went:

"Hey there, look I need to talk to you about something."
"Oh okay, what's up?"
"Well uh, I uh."
"It's all right, you can tell me anything you know that."
"Just promise you won't get mad."
" I promise, I promise."
"Okay well...Actually, you know what, nevermind."

That was it. What I've waited so long to do, and I chickened out. Maybe next time I might actually follow through, maybe next time she won't have a boyfriend, maybe there won't be a next time.

Maybe always means there's a slight possibility that that particular thing won't happen. And that slight chance always has the bigger impact than the other good possibility. Get it?

She has that affect on me, you know that feeling when you are about to go on vacation, or summer is about to take part once again to rid school for three months, yes there's a feeling for that. But anyways, I don't know if I want to tell her yet. I can't right? I wouldn't want to do that to her boyfriend, even if I do despise him in every way possible.

It's funny, I never thought I'd say this but, I think I'm running out of words to describe her, her deceitfulness, her angel-like beauty. Now that I've gotten that out, back to the story. As time progessed, and the marking periods passed right on by, she evenatually broke up with her snobby boyfriend. This was my chance, the only time I could prove to her my love for her. And I was gonna do just that. I just am not really sure how yet.

It was friday night, and I was bound to talk to her about "us". There wasn't an "us" yet, but after tonight I was hoping there would be. She looked amazing tonight, unbelieveable, every guy in the room was looking at her. We were in my friends basement, watching some gruesome movie, an excuse for girls and guys to cling to whomever they desire and no one can say anything. This was it, my big moment. This is how it went down:

"Hey there", I happily contended to her.
"Oh hey", she managed to let out.
"Listen, I just wanted to let you know how I feel about you, youre the most amazing girl I've ever met, cute, charming, stunning, all around amazing. You give me a feeling that no one else could even imagine giving me. I know you just broke up with your boyfriend and all, but if you could even consider maybe starting something with me, you dont know how happy that would make me."

That was it, right there, everything I've ever felt for her was all risked right there. Was it worth it? Not at all.

"But, I don't know if I could do that, with everything Ive gone through in the past weeks, and I don't want to ruin our friendship. Get it?"

I can't believe it, all my hopes were shot down without any mercy whatsoever. I thought I loved her, but when I realized I had no chance, I didn't think i loved her anymore. It's just weird how once you know you can't have the girl you love, you learn not to love that girl anymore. Karma describes it but not quite enough. My love life was done, and she was erased from my hopes. I was dazed, I was scared, I didn't know what to do. And then I woke up.

It was all a dream. I had woken up with the worst feeling in the world. But then it turned to the greatest, because I had remembered that I had the greatest girlfriend in the world to wake up to.

There she is. I can't look. But I have to. As she walks down the halls of our school, strutting with those ever so smooth legs, hair past her shoulders, smiling with a smile that could stop you completely in your tracks. She has the perfect skin, to go along with that perfect face and those perfect eyes, containing the power to make your heart stop. I walk past her, hoping I grab her attention any possible way. I turned my head slowly watching her walk past, not being able to take my eyes off. She doesn't even notice me, maybe because she knows she too good to be true, and that I don't even remotely deserve her. You could say that were friends. We hang out sometimes. But when everyone goes to the movies or something casual, she could careless about talking to me. I despised her. But at the same time I loved her with all the love I could give. The saying "Beauty is on the inside" is a bunch of bullshit. No one, and i mean no one, looks at what's on the inside. It's all about what's on the outside. Beauty catches the eye, not personality. But her, she had everything, including beauty on the inside and outside. Her personality was so vivid and different, she was her own person. I wish i was my own person, my friends speak too much for me. I hate it. I love her. I love her.