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Rated: 13+ · Monologue · Death · #1298625
A small piece about dying... over and over.
Die Only Once

Hebrews 9:27 says "And as it is appointed unto men once to die, but after this the judgment."

Too often we "die" over and over because of fear or because we believe someone's warning or advice when we shouldn't necessarily. I know of which I speak!

In January, 2006, I was told by a hospice nurse that my doctor said I was dying from end-stage COPD which is a very serious, severe lung condition. I was told I could die within six months. It is 2013, and I am still here and I do NOT have end-stage COPD. My lungs aren't great but nothing that serious is going on... with my lungs, that is. Apparently, my only remaining kidney could fail any moment. I could have a heart attack. I have severe anemia, cause unknown, and I just found out I have a 'node' or growth on my thyroid gland (accidentally found during a lung CT scan. Believe me when I say I wasn't looking for anything else.)

At first, I believed the news from hospice or felt like I should. After all, they know what they are doing, right? Well, maybe. This one took my doctor's 'word' apparently as he had done no lung tests other than a chest x-ray. I suppose he believed it for what other reason would he do such a thing? When he (or anyone) listens to my lungs, the breath sounds are diminished, but they are there. I was given lots of strong pain medication, and most of my other complaints were ignored (one is in hospice to die; life-extending treatment is not usually done.) I am sure my hospice experiences are not the 'usual' ones. I know many family members are greatful to hospice for caring for their loved ones. I don't know how many grateful patients there are. Most are dead.

During the course of my illnesses, I have had several doctors, specialists, etc. I have had the kind of doctors who are not encouraging, give the worst-case scenario when asked about prognosis. I have others who are encouraging, who say, "maybe we can build this up or find the cause of that, etc. There's always hope".

That's the point of this monologue. There IS always hope. It's not over until it's over, or the fat lady sings, or the heart stops dead in your chest. No one knows when that will happen, no one but God (if not a believer, then no one knows). If you are surrounded by negative people who wait like vultures for you to die, even if it be your family, find others to spend time with. If your doctor is all gloom and doom, find another. Not every chest pain is a heart attack and not every dizzy spell is a stroke. Keep on keeping on, as long as you can. I mean... what else can you do anyway except commit suicide, and that is no option as far as I am concerned. If you are thinking that way, you need a special doctor. Don't run to the Emergency Room with every pain, but don't ignore serious signs either. Use your good common sense... you know, the good common sense you had before you began fearing death so much.

As far as you are able, continue to do what you always liked to do. When you can't do that anymore, find something new to like. During the time I was supposed to die but wouldn't, I made some wonderful new friends and picked up a new hobby. Life is not pain free but it is free. Don't let your remaining life be sucked from you by fear or people who don't have your best interests at heart. After all, we do live but once. We die once too; that's enough.



© Copyright 2007 Iva Lilly Durham (crankee at Writing.Com). All rights reserved.
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