Buick Recall

I sincerely believe that if Buick went out of business my daily commute would be a hell of a lot less stressful. Allow me to elaborate...

Picture this...


You're cruising along the highway, windows down, music blaring, singing at the top of your lungs; you're feeling pretty damn good. When all of a sudden... BAM!!!! A Buick appears out of nowhere directly in front of you. You slam on your brakes to avoid rear-ending the vehicle. You check your speedometer; you are now going 15 miles below the speed limit. You wonder, 'What the hell just happened?!" That's when you look up, and see that dreaded blue and white handicapped parking tag dangling from the Buick's rear view mirror; that's when it hits you...

You just got stuck behind an elderly couple.

Goddamn, just minutes ago you had been flying down that highway with the wind blowing through your long curls ((or whatever the hell your hair looks like)), and singing your favorite song at the top of your lungs. Now look at you; reduced to nothing more than a goddamn rolling roadblock. You go into a panic as cars whiz by on both sides; you've got to get out of there. You try, in vain of course, to change lanes, but traffic on either side makes it impossible to get out from behind those old people. You scream for help, but other commuters simply leave you behind; you're just another Buick casualty.

Does this sound familiar?

It should; I'm sure it has happened to us all at one point or another... well in my case, at least once a day. Basically old people drive Buicks... that's it ((okay, okay barring the occasional Grand Marquis here and there)). If Buick would just take my e-mails seriously, and shut down their plants, our world would be a much better place... and my blood pressure would spend a little less time at the hypertensive level.