I must be dreaming

All the lights are off and its late afternoon

The fading sun still fighting to shine through to my bedroom

But day after day it’s always the same

Nothing ever changes until you close your eyes

Even then you can’t make time stop flying by



And my fingers are trembling and my lungs are struggling

And my eyes are blistered and I’m breaking



It’s taken some time to realize I’m not alive anymore

Not sure if I ever was, but I was able to fake it

But now I can only break it, break it, break it



And now I know I’m not going anywhere
except maybe down the street to get a drink and a smoke
we all do what we can to make it, but I just can’t stop breaking



Now I’m crying, but I’m not shedding a single tear

I’m frustrated and I’m wasted and I don’t feel so bad anymore

And you’re here and I’ve seen you before but I don’t know your name

And you’re nice and I’m not so leave me alone because my fingers are trembling

And I’m just going to break it

I’m just going to break again.



So now I know I’m not going anywhere
Except maybe down to a local club to roll and blow and forget

To pretend for one night I’m not who I am and make mistakes I’ll regret in the morning

And now I know I’m alone because no one will answer my calls or look in my direction

And my lungs are crumbling beneath my clutching fingers and I don’t know what to do



I’m smoking my last cigarette and it reeks of marijuana, but maybe that’s just wishful thinking

And I’m feeling my core disintegrate and my heart rushing trying to keep me alive

I thought I was smarter than this, but that was just an assumption and we all know what assuming does



I’m breaking and I can’t stop myself from taking it because this is all I know

And it’s nobody’s fault that I’m so destructive and I’m nobody’s responsibility so I’m just going to take it

And I’ve lived a life full of regrets so this feeling isn’t new but it’s hurting in a whole different way



And the sun has lost the battle again tonight

And nothing is shining anymore

And nothing changes until you open your eyes

But even if you can keep up with the pace of time

You would die from exhaustion and dehydration

So I’m going to continue lying here with my eyes closed

And keep my fingers buried in my chest

And break while hoping for the best