Friends Like Us

PROLOGUE

Somehow he still looked tormented, even though the muscles in his face had gone lax. The glistening charcoal gray pool slowly forming around the side of his face was staining the remains of his favorite t-shirt, and his light golden blond hair was plastered to the side of his head. But somehow he didn't look dead. Maybe I just couldn't imagine him without that lively air around him, that smart-ass grin, those bright green eyes twinkling back at me. Perhaps I just didn't want to.

I could see the hole...I mean wound...shimmering and nearly black with his blood. Almost and inch back from his right temple, so fresh it was still bleeding freely.

Why had he done it? Why would he save that bastard?

Looking at the gun in my shaking hand I still couldn't quite understand what had happened. I couldn't let go either. My grip was absolute iron, some small part of me whispering that there were probably still rounds left. Raising the gun to eye level I steadied my hand for the final shot.

Laying there on the ground next to his brother the demon just kept shaking and looking from me to him mouthing "no" over and over.

CHAPTER1

No one had ever said that I was "hot,” or "cute,” or given me those long surveying stares where the guy looks you up and down. Most of the time needy people would just cling to me for moral support and then drop me like a hot potato when their morale was up. My waist length dark brown hair and pale blue eyes were nothing to write home about, and although I had fairly clear skin I could never tan. Barely 5'5 I was of average height, and along with all of my other features I just didn't stand out. But sophomore year started, and so did a friendship that changed my life.

I met Robert two weeks into the school year. My English teacher ran out of seats in the front of the class (my preferred position in the room) and I had to sit at the back. Not the "socialite" type, I didn't know many people other then my friends. I did know that he was new, and very, very different. His outfit comprised of a faded t-shirt and khaki knee-length shorts, with flip-flops to top it off. In combination with his tanned skin and golden blond hair it was the perfect surfer look...except...

Something about his posture, the alertness and tension, made him look wild. The air around him had a sharp edge to it, and as I noticed the hair on my arms began to rise slightly. Somehow he occupied the space he was in more than I did mine, his was more real. His skin was flawless. But his eye's were what told me more than anything else that he was special. Clearer and more piercing than any I’d seen in my life, his irises were emerald green. As he turned to look at me the full intensity of his gaze hit me. But then he spoke and the spell was broken.

"Hi" he said, giving me a genuine look of interest. His voice had that strange quality too. Dredging up my own voice I
managed a weak "Hello.”

"How're you? Didn't see you last week, so you've either gotta be new or were on vacation or something.”

“I’m fine I guess… I haven’t been in school the past week because my grandpa is dying. We flew down to see him—.” My mouth snapped shut and my eyes widened. Sharing personal information of that nature was NOT my forte, except with my closest friends. Yet I had told him as though we had known each other since forever.

“Wow,” he said, “I’m so sorry.” His legitimate look of concern stunned me while making me want to tell him more.

"He's a diabetic. His kidneys just gave out on him, and his doctors think that he won't live much longer without a transplant. We had to leave on Sunday morning, but I really didn't want to...I'm going miss him so much—“ I completely choked and started to cry.

Suddenly warm arms were encircling my shoulders. He whispered “Its okay, its okay.” It didn’t feel like he was being forward, and it didn’t make me uncomfortable.

“You don’t even know me, why are you being so nice? I—I’m sorry for crying,” I said.

He pulled away a little and said, “When I see something that’s in need I can’t help but rush in to help. I end up miserable if I don’t, so I guess that in a sense it’s a method of self-preservation. And don’t apologize for crying, it’s natural. By the way, I’m Robert.”

By now I was turned half way around in my seat to look at him. “I’m Remedy.”

CHAPTER2

Fast-friends has always seemed like a cliché term to me, and in my high school (which is filled with morally deficient, sex crazed weasels…) it would probably be misinterpreted as friends-with-benefits. But fast-friends is what Kadmiel and I were. After that first day when I broke down and he put me back together, we leaned on each other for everything. When something was wrong in my life he was the first one who I turned to, and vice-versa. Eventually no one else mattered to me. All I wanted was to come to school and see him sitting there in my first period English class giving me that cocky grin like he already knew what I was going to say. That’s why one day four months after meeting him I hoped to God that as I walked into the classroom he wouldn’t know what was on my mind.

The previous night I’d discovered something. While reading my favorite book I came to a scene that I had read many, many times before. Two close friends who have been through trials and tribulations, faced death, and shared their deepest secrets realize that their feelings for one-another have matured into love. Both of them are heroic, strong people, full of compassion, and are obviously a perfect match. The girl is realizing how her feelings have changed and she describes it as “A house within me whose doors suddenly opened. It stood there waiting, expectant, inviting.”

Reading this I thought about my friendship with Kadmiel. He was strong, compassionate, and I guess you could call playing football brave. He had that same sense of “destined for greater things” that the male character I was reading about did, something about that strangeness that I had noticed on the first day and very few times after. I didn’t even notice how I was slipping myself into the female lead’s shoes as well, and beginning to imagine what it must have felt like to discover that someone you care for so deeply, you actually love.

Suddenly a light came on somewhere in the outer reaches of my mind. The lock clicked open, and the door swung ajar. I just laid there holding the book, swimming in a sea of confusion until I finally grasped what was going on. I did love Kadmiel. I’d never been in love before so I couldn’t have readily identified the sensation when it formed, but I was suddenly very positive that this was love I was feeling. Oh, no.

Walking through the door to my English room I was horrified that it would show, that he would understand as soon as he saw me that I had betrayed our perfect friendship. But all he did was wave me over and inquire about next periods test. He had to know, though, because he always knew when something was eating away at me.

“Is Stein going to allow notes on the test? I’m gonna fail my ass off otherwise,” he said with an anxious tone.

“Yeah…he said one page only though, can’t be double-sided either. Um…” I said haltingly.

He didn’t have that penetrating look in his eyes that he got right before he asked me what was wrong. Instead he just said, “Okay. Did you write any up? I’d just loooove to copy them if you did. You’re such a bookworm that your notes cover EVERYTHING the teacher taught, not just the info for the notes.”

“Here,” I said, “I typed them up last night.” Why wasn’t he asking? Could he really not notice this? Was there a chance that I wouldn’t have to tell him? I knew that right now I would be able to carry this weight, but eventually I would have to tell him. That was later though, and for now I just wanted to hold onto what we had.

CHAPTER3

By the end of the first month, I fell into a rhythm; a routine if you will. When I saw Kadmiel I would make the usual small talk embellishing all of the small things that were wrong in my life so he wouldn’t be suspicious. When he’d ask why I looked so tired I would say that homework or studying had occupied me into the wee hours of the morning. Telling him that I had lain awake thinking about him until 1 A.M. agonizing over what to do, and imagining different scenarios in which I confessed my feelings to him wasn’t an option.

One afternoon, in an attempt to divert his furtive questioning, I decided to invite him to the school anime club. A previous attendee, I had stopped going one month into the school year because a student named Johnathon joined. He was pushy, annoying, and a liar to boot. He was around 6’, with shaggy medium brown hair that shadowed his dark hazel eyes, and had an athletic build. When someone wasn’t looking he would trip them, knock their belongings off of their desks, roughly bump into them, or just stare in a passive aggressive way. He always had a comeback; something that annoyed the hell out of you and never sounded stupid. Everyone in the club knew that it was him tainting the atmosphere with a vindictive feeling, but since there was no ban policy we couldn’t kick him out.

For some reason he chose me to be his number-one doormat. He would literally knock me into a wall, and then act like he was trying to help me up while squeezing the hell out of my wrist. As he walked past he would mutter profane names and words under his breath so only I could hear. Once, as he walked past, he knocked my artist’s notebook off of my desk. After picking it up and apologizing in a sickeningly sweet voice he stood behind me and leaned over my shoulder to replace it. As he began to stand upright he paused near my ear and whispered, “Not even the lowest ranked angel in the third tier of Heaven would spare so much a thought on your wretched soul.”

There was so much hatred behind his words. Sinuously, a dark feeling of shame, worthlessness, despair, and terror began to blossom in every nerve of my body. Standing up, he trailed his fingernails up my arm and then walked away.

Angels? Heaven? A statement so strange shouldn’t have affected me so dramatically, but five minutes later I was still quivering. Loneliness had joined the other sensations, and I was suddenly very cold. Getting up I excused myself from the remainder of the club and began to frantically rack my brain for Kadmiel’s whereabouts. All I could think of was that he could chase the lonely feelings away.

Eventually I found him out on the track. All he did was glance at me and suddenly he was by my side. It was as if he hadn’t sprinted to me, rather—call me crazy—teleported. Sofer’s words were still resounding in my mind though, and I couldn’t have cared less.

“What’s wrong? You look like you’re being eaten alive”, he said.

His analysis couldn’t have been more accurate. “Sofer… From the anime club just…I don’t even know! He…he…I feel like I’m going to die” I whimpered into his shirt. Dragging me around the back of the school library he sat me down.

“What happened? Did this Sofer guy… DO something to you? What can I do to help? Come’ere” he said pulling me to him and giving me a bear-hug.

Instantaneously a change began. Slight at first, and then more pronounced, a wave of unadulterated relief crept over me. I think that it could best be described as a tide coming in, except the water had a silvery inner glow, and a soothing, cooling effect.

“I’m better now” I said after a few minutes. “A boy in the club just said something to me that…” I paused. “Something that scared me shitless” I finished with a weak grin. “He’s been giving me grief ever since he joined, and today it was just too much. But please, PLEASE Kadmiel, don’t do anything. I’m just going to stop attending the club.”

“Are you crazy?” he said in sudden irritation. “Just now you looked like you really might die. That color was gone from your face, and your eyes were dull. It literally looked like your life was being drained away. If I let this guy go how could I sleep at night? Asking me to ignore what happened to you is only going to hurt me.”

I had already anticipated him wanting to help, and should have welcomed it with open arms. But something anchored deep within me was holding me back now. Getting Kadmiel involved with Sofer felt perverse. So instead of giving in and running for help I talked Kadmiel down until finally he said he’d let it go. He couldn’t seem to let go of what Sofer had said to me though.

“Fine,” he said, “I won’t tell anyone what happened and I won’t try to retaliate, but what he said wasn’t a normal insult. It even had the ring of a threat.”

I frowned at him. “How could that be a threat? He’s just some guy from club. I’ll be fine” I assured him.

“You just don’t understand, Remedy. I—Never mind. Please just tell me this: What did he look like? Was there anything strange about him?” he asked.

His tone was so serious that it sounded life-or-death, so I responded without hesitation: “He’s a little shorter than you, has brown hair, and looks like he might do track. The only thing about him that has ever struck me as peculiar is how mean he is. That and…he just seems creepy. But why? What is it you think I won’t understand?”

“Remedy, I promised you that I wouldn’t try and get back at him. Please, just this once, promise me that you won’t pry. I trust you implicitly, but I can’t explain this. Thanks for answering my questions” he said, still in that dead serious tone.

“I promise I won’t ask you about it again” I replied.

“Thank you,” he said, “and Remedy?” He hugged me again, but this time his arms seemed more protective, like I was something delicate to be treasured. Softly he said, “I would spare you a thought.”

Looking back on that day I suppose it’s when I began to fall in love with him, but it was also the day that a deep worry seeded in my mind.

For some reason my memories of the whole event had a surreal quality, and so when I invited Kadmiel to the after school club it never occurred to me that I would be putting him and Sofer face to face.

As we walked in I could tell right away that things had changed dramatically. Only ten of the original 17 members remained, and most of them looked like attending had taken a huge effort. No one was really paying attention to the anime being shown, and from what I could tell it was something depressing. One or two people acknowledged our presence as we arrived but then returned to fidgeting and glancing at the anime.

Looking around I spotted 2 open chairs and went to sit down. Walking just a few feet I realized that Kadmiel was still in the doorway. “Get in here, I found two chairs” I said lightheartedly in defiance of the rooms mood.

“No” He murmured.

“Sure you can, silly” I said and went over to try and pull him into the room. My hands had barely touched him when suddenly they were repelled.

His eyes were wide and he kept looking around the room. “You don’t understand, I not only won’t, but I can’t. Remedy, please,” he said urgently as he began to back into the hallway, “I have to get out of here—“

“And what’s this?” Sofer said calmly. He had sidled up behind me, and was staring at Kadmiel in an almost predatory way. “I guess I was wrong, you really are still of the lowest rank. The astral light from your wings is so dim I could barely see it. Or is that because you are defying his will?”

Kadmiel had gone a sickly white despite his tanned skin. He was trembling ever so slightly and looked like he might faint.

CHAPTER4

Lunging forward I snatched Kadmiel’s hand and sped towards the door that would lead us out of the hallway. Kadmiel’s body came rushing along with me so effortlessly that he might have been floating. My outstretched hand never touched the door though, because suddenly Sofer was there holding it open with a devious look. “By all means,” he said, “your precious Kadmiel wouldn’t want to get any bystanders tangled up in this particular affair, with the exception of you that is.”

Still holding Kadmiel’s hand I darted out the door and turned to look at Sofer. “What do you want with us?” I asked. “First you harass me, and now Kadmiel? Neither of us could have done anything so wrong that it called for this. Just look at what you’re doing to him!”

Kadmiel was still a ghastly white color and his trembling had increased. Something else was wrong too though—blood. Or so I thought until I got a better look. Two charcoal gray stains were forming on his favorite t-shirt (the one he was wearing the day we met) across his shoulder blades. They weren’t red, so it couldn’t have been blood, could it?

“Human beings are always so narcissistic. You were partially correct though, this is about him. The two of us go way, way back…to the beginning in fact. Would you like to tell her or should I?” Sofer asked Kadmiel.

Looking up shakily as though coming out of a trance Kadmiel stared at Sofer. Finally it seemed to register who he was looking at and he yelled, “NO, PLEASE! Pl-lease Nephreil, please don’t involve her, please. I’ll go with you if I have too, but she never did anything wrong! At first all I wanted was her protection, but it’s more than that now. Through The Sharing her dormant feelings were awakened and amplified. Finding out could negatively charge those emotions and then she would Darken. Another victory for you, but she would be an unwilling victim!”

“Unwilling victims are always best” Sofer chuckled. “And what’s more, she would have your betrayal to feed off of! Even now her curiosity and slow growing understanding is agitating your connection, forcing you to lose your humanity.” Turning to face me he said, “You love him, don’t you? You feel an unexplainable pull towards him, lose sleep thinking of him, and want to hold him? Stop me anytime.”

I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. Kadmiel knew, Sofer knew…at this rate I wouldn’t have been surprised if everyone knew. Looking down I said to him, “You knew the day that it started, didn’t you? That day when I left the anime club and you calmed me down. That’s when I began to feel this way.”

Through gritted teeth Kadmiel said, “I knew, but only because I made it happen.” The back of his shirt was soaked in the dark liquid now.

“That’s ridiculous. You couldn’t have made it happen” I said through the veil of hair that had fallen across my face as I looked down in shame.

Sofer slowly began to laugh until it escalated to a bellowing roar that left him doubled over. “But that’s the beauty of it,” he said as he straightened, “because he could and did. Aren’t you even the slightest bit curious about the dark fluid on his shirt? Didn’t you wonder what I meant when I said ‘Even now her curiosity and slow growing understanding is agitating your connection, forcing you to lose your humanity’?”

Curiosity didn’t begin to describe what I was feeling now. Something was taking place here that felt life altering, something colossal…yet all I wanted to do was protect Kadmiel. “I-I’m more than curious,” I said looking up, “but if it’s going to get me or Kadmiel hurt then I don’t want to know. Please, just let us leave.”

“Nephreil, I didn’t get to save you then, but I can save her now. You know what it’s like to be dragged down against your will. Don’t take yet another victim to that fate—“

“SILENCE!” Sofer screamed. “You did NOTHING to prevent it! It was your fault! So many had turned towards The Bright One, abandoning our Father...and I was not one of them! When the Dark ones were banished I was captured and dragged down to Gehenna. You could have saved me, and when I reached my hand out to you, you let go! An eternity, an eternity is how long I’ve been there seething with hatred towards you, and now I have you AND your favorite pet. Revenge is sweet, and for me it will last forever.”

Letting out a low hiss he began to tremble violently. Slowly his skin began to molt, splitting and peeling back first on his face and then on his arms. Beneath each layer was a rougher, darker one. His hair was becoming darker too, as well as longer. Once hazel, his eyes were glazing over to become a disturbing blood red with white pupils. Everything around him seemed to lose its color and life. Gritting his teeth he kneeled down and arched his back. Already soaked in a pitch-black liquid that I hadn’t seen before, his shirt was swiftly falling apart to reveal two swollen masses forming under his now charcoal colored skin. The dark fluid was pouring from two deep ruptures that had formed vertically along his shoulder blades.

Suddenly both wounds split farther down his back and the now writhing masses burst out. Each one was comprised of five slightly curved bones in descending order according to size, the largest almost 5 feet long. Stretched between each bone was a piece of pallid flesh scattered with rotting holes. They were wings.

Shakily standing up he smiled at me. Where Sofer once stood was something that resembled a black skinned, winged, red eyed, man. “When the others turned against God to follow Lucifer, were cast into belly of the earth and forced to fester there for all eternity, this is what they became, what I became. When Eraliel let go of my hand he condemned me to this fate. He remained in the gentle glow of Heaven, while I was forced into Hell. Your precious Kadmiel is an angel, Remedy, and I a demon. Our shirts are soaked in blood. His should be sparkly and clear, but he has been defying God since he—“ Sofer said to me but was cut off by Kadmiel.

“NOOOO,” shrieked Kadmiel, “noooo. Why did you have to tell her?” he said through a mask of shimmering tears. Hunching over in a similar fashion to Sofer, two wings covered in snow white feathers shot out and up through his own shirt. His skin began to gleam and then settle into a beautiful milky white. As he looked up at me I saw how his emerald irises had expanded. He was a vision of perfection.

“But I’m not done Eraliel!” Sofer sneered. To me he said, “Eraliel is what you humans call a ‘Guardian Angel.’ Except he didn’t want to descend to earth because he knew I would find him. So he hid like the coward he is. You don’t really love him you know. On the very first day you met he entered you into a contact. By letting him make a physical connection with you he began to share your life-force, using it to mask his own. As a result, all of your feelings towards him were amplified. He was using you to hide like an animal. And now that you know, your contract is breaking rapidly, leaving him exposed and defenseless and you to die hating him. We call that Darkening, a wonderful process where human beings who have shared their life-force with an astral being wither away with hatred, the only emotion they have left, until they become ghouls.”

Kadmiel looked at me pleadingly. “Please don’t hate me for what I’ve done. I really did care for you. Angels cannot fall in love, but if I could have it would have been with you. Please say that you love me, even though our contract is broken; please tell me you still do so that you won’t corrode into a lost soul…please. I can’t bear to be responsible for the loss of another life.”

But I couldn’t. Almost as soon as the words had left Sofer’s mouth I felt myself dying. I felt whimsical happiness leaving me first, memories of lounging in the sun dimming and disintegrating, or playing at a park, then memories of my mother’s hugs, then spring showers, and beautiful music, good books, and the smell of flowers. Next were family gatherings, good friendships, and most of the remaining memories pertaining to my parents. The rest went by in such a rush that I couldn’t pick out the individual memories long enough to say goodbye, only to feel the loss. But it felt like I was gaining something in the process too, something cold, hard, and metallic…the aforementioned hatred.

Sofer walked over to me slowly and slipped an arm around my neck. Where his skin touched mine I began to bruise. “You look so sad, dear brother, that I pity you. In light of the situation I could make it quick, just this once. I would still have the satisfaction of her death, and you would still have to watch her soul seeping away…so yes, let’s end it now. I know how you just adore these grisly human methods of death.”

By now I didn’t really care. Nothing seemed to matter, save for the desperate look still poised on Kadmiel’s perfect face. I had already begun to hate him for what was happening to me, resent him for taking away what little of a life I had had. Everything terrible or wrong that had ever happened to me was crystal clear in my mind, enhanced by my new feelings towards Kadmiel. The one person I’d ever fallen in love with and it wasn’t even real. How dare he. I hated Sofer too though, so as I felt the gun that had materialized in his hand sliding up the back of my neck I turned on a dime and seized it.

So completely unexpected was my action that Sofer didn’t have time to protect himself. “I hate both of you, but I hate you the most” I said to Sofer, and pulled the trigger.

Once, a long time ago, I read that angels could travel at the speed of thought, and it must have been true, because the one that collapsed onto the ground was not Sofer, but Kadmiel. One moment he was kneeling on the ground looking to me for forgiveness, and the next he was dead. As the round left the chamber he had teleported into its path, saving the demon that was once his brother. Instantly the ramifications of our contract were canceled, and the life that had seeped out of me came rushing back. All of my emotions were restored, and my judgment was no longer impaired.

CHAPTER5

Sofer fell down next to Kadmiel and began look from me to him as though he couldn’t believe what he was seeing. “You killed him” he said, and then began to mutter “no” repeatedly.

Kadmiel’s body was perfectly still, except for his wings. Their feathers were loosening and blowing away in the breeze one by one. I looked at the leaking wound in his temple and thought of how he would never smile at me again, never comfort me, never make me feel…love. With the contract void, all that remained inside of me were my own feelings. There, just beneath the numb horror of killing my best friend, the astonishment of coming face to face with an angel and a daemon, and the pure sweet joy of living, was love for Kadmiel.

His body was loosing its surreal quality now. The vivid gold tones were draining from his hair, and his skin’s creamy complexion was becoming ashen. Slowly he began to disintegrate into a fine mist that was carried away with his feathers.
Lifting the gun to eye level I tried to aim for Sofer through tear blurred eyes. Positive that I had positioned the gun correctly for a shot through his forehead I placed my finger on the trigger.

“Why did he save you?” I cried. “Why did he waste his perfection on you and leave me all alone?”

“I remember now” Sofer murmured, and then looked up at me. “As the battle ended and those who had betrayed our Creator were banished, a group of fallen angels rushed by near us. Seeing two wounded angels that were still followers of our Father, they couldn’t resist the opportunity. As the strongest of them came forward to strike me Eraliel took the blow. It almost killed him, but he still reached out to me as they carried me away, catching my hand at the last moment but unable to hold on. He never forsook me…” he said in an awed voice.

Laying down next to what remained of Kadmiel, Sofer said, “When our remains meet on the wind, I will tell him that you loved him.” Then he said something to low for me to hear and closed his eyes. Immediately the air around him began to regain its color; his surroundings look more alive. A few moments later, and he too began to disintegrate into the wind.

EPILOGUE

Morning sunlight steamed in through my blinds, caressing my face. Yawning, I rolled over and looked at the clock. Why did my body have to wake up at 8:30 on a Saturday morning? Didn’t it know that this was the weekend? Pulling back the covers I got up and looked around, pausing to rest my eyes on the cork-board above my desk.

A picture of my mother was there, in profile with her hair braided and a loving smile. Next to it was a strip of photo booth pictures that my friend and I took at a mall outing towards the beginning of the summer. My eyes traveled farther down, and there, next to a notice about a high school author’s competition was a snow white feather with a note attacked to it reading:

"I know."