Scienlobotomy

The Dynamic Principle of Existence.
To be pure, to be clean and most important, to be groovy. The triangle of life, has three sides. Without one of these sides, the others fail. This is the basis of understanding. The first, Attraction. To attract a reaction. The second Realization. To truly know what you have done. The third Communicant. How to commingle. This is called the ARC triangle, and all the points connect. Also if you square AR plus square RC, you get the CR squared, plus A, and you have a means of transport. This is how to get from A to B. This is the principle of Unex.

When Unex was a child he tried to understand his purpose, this lead him to trek up the nearest mountain. After weeks of hardship endured, he reached his summit. On reaching his destination, he had forgotten why he had travelled there, why he had endured so much pain. This he determined to be life. Shit happens. If you focus on the one thing you want, and miss all that goes by you, you will not gain. There is more to life, Unex decided to find himself while he was in such a deserted destination. After some years had passed, he had not found himself. On making his way back to once he came, the ground began to shake, violently. The ground rumbled like a hungry giant from which smoke appeared, coming from the very top were Unex was stood only moments ago. The hungry giant roared, and spewed fire from his belly. In this hell on Earth, Unex stood deadly still, just looking, his face opaque. It was then he had a moment of clarity, and understood all he needed to. We all came from one point in space and time, once unified, now on a never ending journey, away from each other. The sheer luck involved, for everything to be in the right place for us, at the right time, for life to evolve, from a strange soup of ingredients. And then from the millions of possible cells that could develop into life, the select few came. He now knew how much of a gift life is, and at that moment did not care if the fire consumed him. For he knew he had survived such savage odds to even be there considering his own death, that he had been dead for so many billions of years, ready to be dead for billions more. He knew he had lived enough, to see such an awesome sight.

To be concluded


With eyes now clearly open, Unex could clearly see, the state on anarchy, approaching him, in the form of fire from the depths of the giants belly. He knelt with calmness invoking him, tranquillity surrounding him, ready for what ever death may bring him. He used his eyes for the very last time, to witness the wave of fire, swirling high, ready to consume him. On drawing his last breath deep into his lungs, he closed his eyes tight and waited for the pain. The pain never came, waiting in the stillness, Unex thought himself dead, but this wasn’t to be, for he opened his open eyes, and to his surprise and astonishment, he was surrounded by  what appeared to be the inside of USS Enterprize.

Trying to orientate himself to his surroundings, his thoughts exploded in a haze of confusion. Is this a form of Heaven or even Hell? It is neither spoke the short man reading his thoughts. Unex turned to see, but at first he did not, but then, as he lowered his angel of vision, he sore a short, tiny little man, standing, appearing to be seated all at the same time. My name is Tom, the man squeaked, you may call me Mr. Tom. This is my Cruise ship. Unex stood to his feet, unsteadily, still trying to understand what had happened here. Again, as if reading his mind, Mr. Tom started to unravel the theoretical turban from his minds eye.

Unex could see himself now, back on that hill, knelt, waiting for fire to engulf him, as he watched himself close his eyes for the last time, he saw and understood.  Mr. Tom’s Cruise ship appeared from no where like a mythical dragon, swooping, collecting, disappearing.

Unex now understood why he was where he was, but not why he was there. Again these internal questions of his were answered externally by Mr. Tom.

“I was not born, I was created, I come from planet Umperlump. The Umperlumpers created me, for reasons we shall see. We only mean good, which is why, I saved you. Too be good. I travel time and space, with my wife Kadtie Abode, though she can not speak she looks good by my side. If you pass our tests you may join us on our mission of goodness.”


Book 2 – The Book.

Unex now well rested and gripping the reality that had gripped him, went to find Mr. Tom. He needed to know what his mission of goodness was? How he might help? And what else Mr. Tom knew about life and the universe.

He toured Mr. Tom's cruise ship in search of him, and what a ship it was. It seemed to go on forever, but just as he entered what appeared to be a hall of mirrors, he saw Mr. Tom. Stood ever so still, seemly admiring himself in the mirrors that cast back his small reflection.

'Mr. Tom I'm glad to of found you, I have much I wish to ask you' spoke Unex

'Indeed you do, let us walk to the room of mosurch, there I shall tell you what you need to know'

Walking down a large hallway, Mr. Tom, despite his small appearance, appeared to be larger than life. Hands behind his back, walking with confidence, Unex started to admire the man he knew nothing about. Then just as he let his eyes fall the length of Mr. Tom's body, he was startled to see Mr. Tom spin on his heel and face Unex. Their eyes caught each others, in an awkward moment there appeared to be something between them, something deep, and something wrong. With a tingling running through Mr. Tom's body, he quickly broke eyes.

'We have arrived' spoke Mr. Tom with a slight aggression in his voice now.

'What is this room' said Unex, whilst trying to take in all he could see.

'This is the control centre for our quest, a great and glorious quest it is. This is where we look for the great book'

'And what great book would that be then?' said Unex

'For it is the book, the only book one should ever need, a great and glorious book'

'Why is it so great?' said Unex quizzically.

'This book was penned by a dog, but not any dog, The Dog!'

'Riiight ok then, so where might this book be then, I take it you unaware of its where a bouts' Said Unex unsure of what he was hearing.

'We fear it may be held by the tac's, which occupy the lohy lands on planet Ligoner, we must go there and fight them til the death, this is the only way we can get the book'

'And just asking them for it is not possible because…'

'You don't understand, they use the book in their own perverse way, a discredit to The Dog, and a discredit to all who wish to learn from The Dog'

'And you can't agree to disagree?'

'And what would be the logic in that; it's the most absurd thing ever to enter my ears!'

With this the conversation was over, Mr. Tom turned on his heel, with  slight campness and made his way back to his wife, Kadtie Abode, to tell her about his strange conversation, with a slight tear forming in his eye.


Book 3 – The Concentration camp

With Mr. Tom upset by his pervious conversation, he found comfort in the bosom of his wife. With a snort and a gargle, he tried to regain himself, and with lifting himself of his wife’s bosom, he noticed his tears had made her tight white top ever so slightly see-through. With a slight poking of her nipple, and a tingle in his crotch area, he regained all compose sure and started to lift into his normal self. 

As he paced up and down their private quarters, he tried to continue his thinking on how he would get the great book. But with every about turn he done on reaching the shiny walls of his quarter, he couldn’t help but glance back down at the small pinkness poking predominately thought her tight top.

‘Arhh I can’t concentrate here, there is too much distracting me!’ exclaimed Mr. Tom

Kadtie sat just looking, chest poking slightly, unable to console her husband, due to the fact he had banned her from speech.

‘I must go to a place where I can collect my thoughts’ spoke Mr. Tom to himself.

With this a small light began to appear in the corner of his quarters. As the light began to grow, the light bouncing round his shiny quarters became so intense causing him to shield his eyes, form what appeared to be someone lighting magnesium in the corner of his quarters.

‘Be not afraid’ came the voice for within the light.

Kadtie had now just noticed her own perkiness, and with a stiffness building, retired to the toilet to touch her inner Goddess.

‘Who be this in my quarters’ said Mr. Tom trying not to sound as scared as he was.

‘It be I’ spoke the voice.

‘Well I to have two eyes, so I need not more eyes’

‘No you r-tard, it is me JC’

‘JC can that really be you; I thought you died on that cross’

‘Yes it was a difficult crossing, but the channel can be like that’ said JC

‘What brings you here JC’

‘I have come to charge you with an impossible mission one in which you may not make it out alive from’

As JC spoke these words, a banging started at the door. Both JC and Mr. Tom turned to look at the toilet Kadtie had hidden herself in, for reasons unbeknown to them. As they took there first step in the direction of the door, it came again.

BANG BANG BANG

The sound was behind them, the sound was coming form the main door to the quarters, and just as both men focused the vision on the door with the bang, it flew open, causing a most audacious draft.

Stood in the door way was Unex, hands placed on his hips, his frame filling the doorway.

With slight admiration, Mr. Cruise spoke.

‘And what do we own this pleasure to Unex?’

‘I heard a commotion and thought that maybe you may need assistance’

‘No I am fine thank you; your ass is not needed’

‘My ass?’

‘Yes your assistance’ clarified Mr. Tom

‘You will shortly need all the ass you can get Tom’ spoke JC

‘Of course my mission impossible, please forget the interruption and continue’

‘You must go to the place you need to go, and there you shall liberate the illiberal’

‘And who might this be’ cut in Unex ‘Another man you picked up?’

‘My name is Jesus Cruise, brother of Tom; I am here to ask my brothers help and yours too, if you are as brave as they say’

‘Continue brother, what do you ask of me’

‘The camp you go to to learn how to concentrate, the place you are thinking of going to, you must go to, for there is a terrible situation arising there’

‘Tell me more brother’

‘Yeh tell him more, sounds like a day out so far’ quipped Unex

‘There you shall find unspeakable horrors, for all those that go there that aren’t to the liking of the dicktator, namely reggins, jews and those that love the love of their sex. Are being tortured by a series of pipes contented from the anus to their nose.’

‘A truly unspeakable horror, although you just said it, we must go at once, Unex to the BAT mobile’

‘BAT mobile, which would be what then’ said a confused Unex’

‘Brain Automatic Transportation, don’t you know anything, where ever you think there you shall go’

‘So if I think of the inside of… no its ok I’ll find out later, onwards to the BAT’ said Unex now becoming enthusiastic.