This Boy I Love but I Regret....

This Boy I Love but I Regret

I miss living my life for me.
I know I adore him and so does he.
I'm almost in love but I'll never admit..
because I want to be done with it.
He only brings me painful joy.
And he'll always be "oh just this boy.."
This boy that I will never get.
This boy I love but I regret.
No one knows what goes on in my brain,
And how every day is a bit more pain.
I know I shouldn't feel like this,
With all the good things that I've missed.
I know I will move on one day.
So all I have to do is wait.
Until the next boy comes all out
to give me more to write about.
but I wish it could all go away.
My pain would leave so I can stay.