Just a Guy-I-Know

Just a Guy-I-Know

Setting: Boston, present-day

Characters:
-          Dr. Alex Sloan: (mid-thirties) a lonely, widowed gynecologist
-          Emma Ballsy: (late-twenties) has trouble with relationships, outspoken
-          Linda Lovely: (early twenties) Sloan’s secretary who is ditsy, flirty, and loves to chew gum
-          Alli Sloan: (8-10) Sloan’s curious and instigating daughter who is mature for her age
-          Norma Sloan: (thirty-looking) Alex’s deceased wife
-          Adam Bell: Emma’s ex-boyfriend who sends her to Sloan to see if she’s pregnant
-          Woman #1: Patient of Dr. Sloan
-          Waiter: Waiter at the Bistro

Scene Breakdown
Scene I- Sloan’s office

         Emma enters, nods to Linda, and walks into the office thinking she’s going to couples therapy. Although, unbeknownst to her, Sloan is a gynecologist. Sloan goes through his usual procedure as Emma rants about her boyfriend and relationships. As Sloan gets near her, she freaks out and he tells her he’s a gynecologist. Emma explains that she thought he was a therapist and walks to Linda’s desk and calls her boyfriend Adam. Once she realizes he sent her there because he wanted to make sure she wasn’t pregnant, Emma breaks up with Adam and runs offstage left. Sloan grabs Emma’s clothes and runs after her. Linda, meanwhile, makes a date with Emma’s now-ex Adam.

Scene II- Somewhere in a park

         Emma runs in blubbering and sits on the park bench. Sloan, out of breath, runs in. Sloan gives Emma her clothes and sits down next to her. Emma’s blubbering turns into ranting about her problems and then she asks Sloan questions- not really expecting answers. By the end of their talk, Sloan is baffled and mystified by his new-found friend.




Scene III- Sloan’s kitchen

         Sloan, his back facing the audience, is making dinner, when his daughter, Alli, sneaks in. She is late. Without turning around, he catches her, and tells her to go wash her hands. She comes back a few moments later with a small piece of paper while Sloan is setting the table. When Alli asks about it, Sloan is caught offguard. He explains he met a new friend today and Alli bluntly asks if his new friend is actually his new girlfriend. Caught off guard once more, he says no and tries to explain that he can have friends who are girls, but are not girlfriends and Alli blows his speech off by telling him he needs a girlfriend. After they finish eating, Alli hops offstage right and Sloan shakes his head smiling.

Scene IV- In front of the curtain
         Sloan in his pajamas with his cell phone in hand comes in from stage left. He contemplates a relationship with Emma, rhetorically asking his deceased wife about it. He ends the monologue by deciding to call Emma the next day.

Scene V- Sloan’s office
         The scene opens with Sloan sitting behind Linda’s desk; Linda is in one of the seats next to the desk. She’s encouraging Sloan to call Emma and eventually gets annoyed with his cowardice and leaves. Right after Linda leaves, Sloan calls Emma and plans a dinner date with her.

Scene VI- A little bistro somewhere in Boston
         Sloan and Emma are sitting at a small round table center stage. The waiter comes and hands them a bottle of wine. Emma tells Sloan about her job and how she loves animals and originally wanted to become a vet, but dropped out of college because of a bad break-up. Sloan talks about his late wife, but then lets it slip that he has a daughter, Alli. With this, Emma gets really interested. The night goes really well and around nine they head back to Sloan’s apartment so that Emma can meet Alli.

Scene VII- Sloan’s kitchen
         Lights up to Alli in her pajamas sitting at the kitchen table waiting for Sloan. Alli jokes with her father, chastising him for being late and then sees Emma behind him. Alli jumps up and shakes hands with Emma and tells her she’s pretty. After talking for a few minutes, the three decide to watch a movie.



Scene VIII- In front of the curtain
         Sloan’s carrying Alli to bed; Emma is close behind. He walks offstage left, puts Alli down, and comes back onstage center to talk to Emma. Emma decides that she should probably go, but Sloan tells her to stay and kisses her passionately on the lips. He picks her up and brings her offstage right.

Scene IX- Sloan’s bedroom
         Sloan is dreaming that he’s talking to his wife, Norma. He seeks her permission to be with Emma. Sloan and Norma get in a fight and he resolves to break ties with Emma once he “wakes up.” He writes her a note saying that it just wouldn’t work, gets dressed, takes one last look at Emma, and walks off stage right, leaving Emma alone in his bed.

Scene X- Sloan’s office
         Lights come up. Sloan enters and Emma is sitting in tears and wearing the dress she wore the night before, in the seat next to Linda’s desk, in tears. Sloan is surprised to see her and they get in a verbal fight. Distraught, Emma leaves. Sloan sits in her chair, and once again, discourses with his late wife. He realizes that he doesn’t need Norma’s permission to be happy and runs after Emma.

Scene XI- somewhere in a park
         Scene opens with Emma on the same park bench where they had their first talk. Emma is bawling on the bench. Sloan walks in and tries to talk to her. She refuses at first to even speak to him, but slowly warms up to talking to him again. This time, instead of Emma being the one talking the entire time, Sloan is the one not allowing Emma to get a word in edgewise. She ends up kissing him to get him to stop talking.  They share a few words. He picks her up and the show ends.
         

Act I: Scene I

(Scene opens in the gynecologist office. Linda Lovely is sitting on her desk chewing gum and twirling her hair. Dr. Alex Sloan is getting ready in his office, putting on his lab coat and setting up his instruments. Emma Ballsy walks in and Linda points to the chair next to the desk. Woman #1 walks out of the door marked “Dr. Alexander Sloan” as Emma stands up.)

WOMAN #1: Is this your first time with him? You look really nervous.  (Emma nods her head) Don’t be! He’s really gentle. You won’t even feel a thing!

EMMA BALLSY: Okay…

WOMAN #1: He’s not anything like those perverted ones who make you feel really uncomfortable. You’ll be fine! (WOMAN leaves. Emma with a very confused look stares ahead at the door.)

LINDA LOVELY: (picking up the phone) Uh-huh. Yep. Okay. Uh-huh. Cool. (points to the door) You can go in, honey.

(Emma, looking very nervous, enters through the door and sits on what she thinks is the “couch”)

DR. ALEX SLOAN: You can get undressed over there, miss. Here’s a smock.

EMMA BALLSY: (very  confused) Okay. (walks behind the screen) I don’t even know why I’m here. Has Adam come in yet?

DR. ALEX SLOAN: Uh… no. (starts putting on rubber gloves) When you’re ready, just lay down on the table.

EMMA BALLSY: (coming out from the screen) I mean, I thought we were doing great! Seriously, we’ve had sex at least three times a week. (She lays down and puts her feet in the stirrups)

DR. ALEX SLOAN: (feeling very awkward) Uh, well we’ll see where that takes us. Open up your legs. (Emma, very confused, does so. Sloan prepares to examine her)

EMMA BALLSY: (not even looking at Sloan) I can’t believe Adam is late again. He always sets up things and then never shows until about an hour later. Like he’s trying to be “fashionably late.” (looks like she’s just realizing something) What if he’s gay? Is he only dating me because he wants to deny the fact that he’s gay? Is that why we’re here? (realizes that Sloan has placed his hands between her legs) WHAT ARE YOU DOING? (closes her legs on his hands)

LINDA LOVELY: (walking in) Alex-

DR. ALEX SLOAN: (struggling to take his hand away) I’m examining you! Could you please let my hands go? (Emma opens her legs slightly to let his hand go, but immediately closes them back up)

LINDA LOVELY: ALEX-

EMMA BALLSY: Since when does a couple’s therapist check clients’… sex… organs?

LINDA LOVELY: ALEX!

DR. ALEX SLOAN: Since I’m a gynecologist… not a therapist.

LINDA LOVELY: DR. SLOAN!

DR. ALEX SLOAN: WHAT, LINDA?

LINDA LOVELY: Mindy cancelled because her boyfriend found out she’s pregnant.

DR. ALEX SLOAN: Umm… okay. Linda, I’m with a patient right now.

LINDA LOVELY: (looking over) Ohhh… a “patient” (she winks and walks out)

EMMA BALLSY: (somewhat speechless) You… him… OH MY GOD! (runs out the office to Linda’s desk, knocking Linda over in the process, picks up her phone and dials in panic) Adam? ADAM! YOU SENT ME TO A GYNECOLOGIST?? (pauses as her eyes widen) You wanted to find out if I was pregnant or not? ADAM! I’m on the PILL! (pauses again) Don’t call me “Baby,” I can’t believe you! No! I’m done with your crap, Adam. No- it’s over. OVER. (hangs up and starts blubbering)

LINDA LOVELY: (brushing herself off) How rude! (rushes past Emma and takes her place on her desk)

DR. ALEX SLOAN: Uh, (smiles awkwardly at Emma) well… do you still want a check up?

EMMA BALLSY: (looks at him in contempt) NO! (storms out with the smock still on)

DR. ALEX SLOAN: MISS! MISS! You forgot your- Oh, jeez! (picks up her clothes and purse from behind the screen in the exam room  and runs after Emma.) Linda, cancel my afternoon appointments! (runs offstage)

LINDA LOVELY: Okay, boss. I’ll be right here if you come back and wanna spend some of that free time with me! (she winks, picks up the phone, and presses “redial”) Hiya, Adam? Hi, my name’s Linda. Mhm, I just heard you had a hard break-up (pauses, laughs) No, I’m not friends with Emma, silly! I was there when she broke up with you! But I’m off duty and I was wondering if you wanted to go out to lunch with me? (she smiles) I’ll meet ya there. (She giggles, hangs the phone up, and swings her legs over the desk.)

(Blackout.)


Act I: Scene II

(Emma comes running into the park, blubbering obnoxiously and sits down on the bench. A few moments later, Sloan runs in and stops at the bench. Breathing heavily, he leans over and grabs his chest.)

DR. ALEX SLOAN: You, miss, are NOT an easy person to follow, let me tell you!

EMMA BALLSY: (through her blubbering) Tell… me… what?

DR. ALEX SLOAN: (pauses. Opens his mouth to say something, but then stops) Never mind. Here are the clothes you left at my office. Oh, and your purse. (gives her the clothes and purse, then turns to leave.)

EMMA BALLSY: Wait! (Sloan turns and looks) I know you’re not a therapist. But would you mind keeping me company? I don’t really want to be alone right now.

DR. ALEX SLOAN: Yeah. (pause) Yeah, no problem. (sits down awkwardly. A few moments of silence pass by. He turns to Emma) So-

EMMA BALLSY: I can’t believe he did this to me! I mean, would you send your girlfriend to a gyno to see if she was pregnant? What is wrong with men? It’s like they have no common sense!

DR. ALEX SLOAN: Well-

EMMA BALLSY: This would happen to me, you know. Something like this always happens to me. You know what happened with my last boyfriend? Jimmy? (waits for a response. Sloan is just staring at her)

DR. ALEX SLOAN: (realizing it’s his turn to speak) Oh! Uh, no, what?

EMMA BALLSY: I don’t know if I can even repeat it.

DR. ALEX SLOAN: Oh, well-

EMMA BALLSY:  To break up with me without, you know, “breaking up with me,” he actually PRETENDED to be having an affair. WITH HIS COUSIN! He couldn’t even be honest with me. All the guys I date end up somehow trying to tiptoe around subjects like they’re taboo. My life is not a freakin’ charades game! (she sniffles and looks at Sloan) You probably don’t have trouble like me.

DR. ALEX SLOAN: Well, actually, I’ve had a bit of relationship “trouble” myself. I was married, but-

EMMA BALLSY: She divorced you?

DR. ALEX SLOAN: No, she-

EMMA BALLSY: Cheated on you?

DR. ALEX SLOAN: No, actually-

EMMA BALLSY: (laughing through her tears) What, did she die? (Sloan looks away. Emma’s eyes widen) Oh my God! I am so sorry! See, I can’t do anything right. It’s too bad you’re not a therapist. I certainly need one, Alex. Can I call you Alex? Thanks. (pauses) You know what? Maybe I should become a therapist! I’m a good listener, aren’t I? (Sloan opens his mouth) Of course I am! Wow, I feel great.

DR. ALEX SLOAN: Good!

EMMA BALLSY: Thanks, Alex! You really helped me.

DR. ALEX SLOAN: Uh, you’re welcome?

EMMA BALLSY: You almost made me forget about- (she chokes up) Oh, Lord! (starts crying again) I don’t know why I’m so upset. This happens to me all the time. I should be used to it by now. You know? But who am I to talk? I bet you’ve never gotten over your wife’s death. I can’t even imagine how that must feel. You’re not depressed all the time are you? I’ve learned about the five stages of grief in my psych class at the community college nearby. Have you accepted her death yet?

DR. ALEX SLOAN: Uh, well-

EMMA BALLSY: (She finds her purse among her clothes and writes something on a little piece of paper) Here’s my number. If you ever need to talk, you know, (in a whisper) about your dead wife, (reverts back to normal voice level) call me. And if I ever need you, I have your card! (she whips out his card from her purse and laughs.)

DR. ALEX SLOAN: (taking the piece of paper from Emma, smiling despite himself) Okay… thanks.

EMMA BALLSY: (picking up her clothes and purse and standing up) Well, I have to go. I have a three-o’clock appointment with “Mr. Cuddles,” who, despite his name, is not very cuddly. I’ll see you later, Alex.

DR. ALEX SLOAN: Bye, miss!

EMMA BALLSY: (grimacing) That sounds way too formal. Call me Emma. (leaves offstage right)

DR. ALEX SLOAN: Bye… Emma.

(Blackout.)

Act I: Scene III

(Sloan’s back is facing the audience, he’s cooking dinner. He’s whistling and dancing as he stirs. His daughter, Alli Sloan comes in SR; She’s late and  trying to sneak in.)

DR. ALEX SLOAN: (without turning around) You’re late.

ALLI SLOAN: I know, dad. I’m sorry.

DR. ALEX SLOAN: (turning around with pan in hand) So, where were you this time?

ALLI SLOAN: I was playing basketball with Mikey! He said no girl could beat him on the courts so I challenged him.

DR. ALEX SLOAN: (smiling) Did you win?

ALLI SLOAN: Of course I did, daddy! A Sloan never goes back on her word! (she grins widely and sits down at the table)

DR. ALEX SLOAN: hey, hey! (slapping her hands with the towel) Go wash your hands.

ALLI SLOAN: (rolling her eyes) Okay. (she leaves SR)

(Sloan continues setting the table. A few moments later, Alli returns with a small piece of paper in her hand and a sly grin on her face)

ALLI SLOAN: What’s this? (Sloan looks over and attempts to grab the piece of paper from her) It says- “thanks for the talk, doc. Emma” and then a number. Ooooooh. (she giggles)

DR. ALEX SLOAN: She’s a patient and forgot to fill out her forms.

ALLI SLOAN: Uh-huh. and I’m in the WNBA.

DR. ALEX SLOAN: Alexandra…

ALLI SLOAN: Okay, okay. I’m sorry.

DR. ALEX SLOAN: She’s just a friend. You know, I can have friends who are women and not be in a relationship.

ALLI SLOAN: I know, daddy.

DR. ALEX SLOAN: My new friend “Emma” needed someone to talk to, so I lent an ear-

ALLI SLOAN: You should ask her out.

DR. ALEX SLOAN: Uh-

ALLI SLOAN: You need a life-long companion, daddy. (Sloan pauses and sighs)

DR. ALEX SLOAN: You’re my life-long companion. You’re all I need, honey.

ALLI SLOAN: Now, daddy. You know that’s not true and I know that’s not true. I’m a cool kid, I admit, but I’m no wife. Besides, it’d be cool to have an older woman around the house, wouldn’t it? Mommy wouldn’t want you to be alone.

DR. ALEX SLOAN: I suppose not, but that’s for another time. Dinner’s ready and we don’t want it to get cold-

ALLI SLOAN: You’re avoiding!

DR. ALEX SLOAN: I know. It’s what I do best- so let’s eat!

ALLI SLOAN: (sighing) okay.

(Blackout.)

Act I: Scene IV

(Sloan dressed in pajamas with a cell phone in hand walks in front of the curtain from SL.)

DR. ALEX SLOAN: Norma, I don’t know what to do. Alli says you’d want me to be with Emma. Or someone. But how can I when I’m promised to be forever yours? Then again, the vows do say “’til death do us part.” And death… did… us… part. (he laughs) Despite my bad grammar, you always loved me. I know I’ll always love you. I don’t know if I could love anyone else. And what about Alli? What if she doesn’t like Emma or if Emma doesn’t like her? Or (pauses) even worse- if they loved each other. If Emma and I were to break up, Alli would be crushed. Then again, maybe I’m assuming too much. Who’s to say Emma even likes me in that way? She just broke up with her boyfriend. She probably doesn’t even want a relationship. Am I reading too much into our meeting today? Are these feelings completely one-sided? But, on the other hand, she wouldn’t have given me her number if she didn’t want me to at least call her. (pauses) I’ll wait until tomorrow. It’s late now. Too late to call anyone at this hour. I’ll wait until tomorrow.

(Blackout.)

Act I: Scene V

(Scene opens in Sloan’s office with Linda sitting in a chair beside her desk while Sloan is sitting at the desk, staring at the phone.)

LINDA LOVELY: Why don’t you just call her?

DR. ALEX SLOAN: I don’t know what to say.

LINDA LOVELY: (looking pensive) Well, you could say (pauses to look at Sloan) “Hi!”

DR. ALEX SLOAN: (thinking about it) I can’t… it sounds too desperate.

LINDA LOVELY: (rolling her eyes and standing up) Will you just call her? You probably won’t be able to get a word in edgewise anyways!

DR. ALEX SLOAN: I suppose you’re right.

LINDA LOVELY: Of course I am! I may be blonde, but I’m not stupid. Just say “hi,” and maybe ask her to dinner if she doesn’t ask first.

DR. ALEX SLOAN: Okay, okay. I will. Just- just-

LINDA LOVELY: Just what?

DR. ALEX SLOAN: What if I’m reading too much into this?

LINDA LOVELY: Oh, My God, you’re worse than my girlfriends. Aren’t you supposed to be a man?

DR. ALEX SLOAN: I am a man!

LINDA LOVELY: Then don’t be such a sissy! Call her!

DR. ALEX SLOAN: Alright, alright. I’ll- I’ll call her. (picks up the phone hesitantly and starts to dial. He waits and then hangs up the phone.) 

LINDA LOVELY: Voicemail?

DR. ALEX SLOAN: No…

LINDA LOVELY: Did a man pick up?

DR. ALEX SLOAN: No…

LINDA LOVELY: Then what happened?

DR. ALEX SLOAN: She said “Hello?” and I hung up.

LINDA LOVELY: You’re pathetic.

DR. ALEX SLOAN: I know…

LINDA LOVELY: I wash my hands of you (makes the motion of washing her hands, flips her hair, and walks out)

DR. ALEX SLOAN: (staring at the phone and sighing) Okay. You can do this. (picks up the phone and dials) Hi... Emma? This is Alex. Yeah. Uhm. I was wondering if you wanted to go out to dinner tonight? (he smiles) Great! I’ll pick you up around- yeah. Seven sounds great. See you then. (hangs up the phone and stares at it smiling) Yes!

(Blackout.)



Act I: Scene VI

( Scene opens at a little Bistro in front of the curtain with Emma and Sloan sitting center at a small, round table. The Waiter walks in with a bottle of wine in hand)

WAITER: A bottle of Merlot, sir.

DR. ALEX SLOAN: Thank-you.

WAITER: No problem. (leaves SL)

DR. ALEX SLOAN: So, tell me a little more about yourself.

EMMA BALLSY: Well, I work at a grooming parlor for pets. I love working with the animals, even when the owners decide that basic upkeep is too much for them to do in-between baths. It gets dirty around the workplace (they laugh). I originally wanted to become a vet, but I dropped out of school before I got my degree.

DR. ALEX SLOAN: Why did you drop out?

EMMA BALLSY: A pretty bad break-up. It wasn’t really my choice to leave.

DR. ALEX SLOAN: It wasn’t your choice to leave?
EMMA BALLSY: My relationship was with my chemistry professor.

DR. ALEX SLOAN: Oh…

EMMA BALLSY: I told him I didn’t want to see him anymore because I was afraid that we would be caught and I didn’t want him to lose his job because of me.

DR. ALEX SLOAN: Sounds reasonable enough.

EMMA BALLSY: Not to him. He told me I had to stay with him or he would tell the administration that I tried to seduce him to get a good grade in his class and they would drop me.

DR. ALEX SLOAN: So you told him “no”?

EMMA BALLSY: No, I stayed with him.

DR. ALEX SLOAN: Oh…

EMMA BALLSY: But what I predicted was right. One of my dorm mates, a feminist who didn’t like me because I didn’t want to join the women’s hockey team, saw us together, went straight to the Dean and told all. My professor lost his job and I got kicked out.

DR. ALEX SLOAN: I’m sorry.

EMMA BALLSY: I know now that I should’ve just broken up with him when I planned to. At least then I would’ve gone out with dignity. But, the past has passed and I now focus on the present.

DR. ALEX SLOAN: That’s a good outlook.

EMMA BALLSY: I think so.

DR. ALEX SLOAN: My late wife always liked to focus on the present. She said the future scared her too much.

EMMA BALLSY: And yet she married you?

DR. ALEX SLOAN: She always told me I was the road block to her life as the lady with the hundred cats. (he smiles) Instead, she got me and a miracle.

EMMA BALLSY: A miracle?

DR. ALEX SLOAN: Oh- uhm-

EMMA BALLSY: (getting excited) oh! Boy or girl?

DR. ALEX SLOAN: Girl. Her name is Alli. She loves to beat all the boys in the neighborhood at basketball.

EMMA BALLSY: Sounds like my kind of girl. Can I meet her?

DR. ALEX SLOAN: What? Now?

EMMA BALLSY: Why not? No better time than the present, right?
DR. ALEX SLOAN: I guess not.

EMMA BALLSY: (picking up her jacket and standing) Then, let’s go! (she starts leaving)

DR. ALEX SLOAN: Uh- okay! (takes out wallet and throws money onto the table.) Wait for me! (laughs and runs after Emma)

(Blackout.)

Act I: Scene VII

(Curtain opens and Alli is sitting at the dinner table in her pajamas, looking at her wrist, pretending to be looking at a watch. Emma walks in behind Sloan and Alli, with a parental stare, looks at him)

ALLI SLOAN: Do you have any idea what time it is, young man?

DR. ALEX SLOAN: I’m sorry, I promise I won’t be late next time.

ALLI SLOAN: (gets up and gives him a hug) It’s okay. (notices Emma behind Sloan) Hi! Are you Emma? You’re really pretty. (she shakes Emma’s hand)

EMMA BALLSY: (laughing) Thank-you.

ALLI SLOAN: (looking at Sloan) She’s a keeper, daddy.

DR. ALEX SLOAN: (embarrassed) I think it’s bedtime!

ALLI SLOAN: No! I want to watch a movie with Emma!

EMMA BALLSY: Ooh! That sounds like fun!

ALLI SLOAN: Can we, daddy? Pleeeeease?

EMMA BALLSY: Yeah, Alex. Pleeeeeease?

DR. ALEX SLOAN: (smiling, despite himself) Okay, okay. Fine.

ALLI SLOAN: Yay! Have you seen Dream Girls? It’s a really good movie.

EMMA BALLSY: I wanted to see it, but I never got to.

ALLI SLOAN: Well, let’s watch!

EMMA BALLSY: Okay! (Alli takes Emma’s hand and rushes her offstage left and Sloan follows behind.)

(Blackout.)


Act I: Scene VIII

(Scene opens in front of the curtain with Sloan holding a sleeping Alli in his arms.)

EMMA BALLSY: She’s adorable, Alex.

DR. ALEX SLOAN: She is, isn’t she? She’s a lot quieter when she sleeps. (laughs)

EMMA BALLSY: (laughing with him) I see.

DR. ALEX SLOAN:  I’ll be right back. I have to get her into bed. (walks offstage left and leaves Alli there and comes back onstage center)

EMMA BALLSY: Well, uh- I better get going. (starts to leave)

DR. ALEX SLOAN: Wait- (he grabs Emma’s arm and pulls her in for a kiss. She smiles at him.) Don’t go.

EMMA BALLSY: Okay. (Sloan picks her up as she giggles and brings her offstage right)

(Blackout)

Act I: Scene IX

(Curtain opens revealing Sloan’s bedroom. He is sitting up in bed, looking at Emma sleeping and smiling.)

DR. ALEX SLOAN: Okay, Norma. It took me a long time to figure this out. But I don’t want to be alone. I know, I know. You’re with me in spirit. But it’s not the same as seeing your face and touching it. (Norma walks in behind him from upstage left.) I need something real in my life, Norma. I know you’d like Emma-

NORMA SLOAN: Oh, would I?

DR. ALEX SLOAN: (turning around in shock) Norma!

NORMA SLOAN: ( sits next to him on the edge of the bed ) The same old Alex. Well, aren’t you handsome these days?

DR. ALEX SLOAN: But you’re- you’re-

NORMA SLOAN: Dead? A little cliché, Alex, don’t you think? (Sloan’s face remains shocked) Don’t worry, Alex. It’s a dream. But as real as a dream could possibly be.

DR. ALEX SLOAN: I miss you.

NORMA SLOAN: Apparently that doesn’t stop you from sleeping around…

DR. ALEX SLOAN: It’s not sleeping around, it’s-

NORMA SLOAN: What, Alex? What is it? (she smiles) Are you in love?

DR. ALEX SLOAN: I don’t know, maybe, but I really like her, Norma. I think I might love her.

NORMA SLOAN: (her face falls) Do you want her to replace me?

DR. ALEX SLOAN: Of course not! No one could replace you, Norma.

NORMA SLOAN: Then you’ll stop seeing her?

DR. ALEX SLOAN: (confused) But, Norma, I thought you would be happy that I found someone I could be with.

NORMA SLOAN: What wife could be happy to see her husband sleep with another woman?

DR. ALEX SLOAN: But you’re-

NORMA SLOAN: Dead. We’ve already gone over this. (reaches over and puts her hand on Sloan’s face.) Just because I’m dead, doesn’t mean my spirit has left you or stopped loving you.

DR. ALEX SLOAN: Norma, we could never be together-

NORMA SLOAN: We are right now.

DR. ALEX SLOAN: Yes, but I’m dreaming. And what about Alli? She needs a woman in her life.

NORMA SLOAN: She has teachers. And from what I’ve seen, you’ve done a great job since I’ve been gone.

DR. ALEX SLOAN: It’s not the same, Norma. I- I think I love her.

NORMA SLOAN: Break up with Emma, Alex. It’s the right thing to do. And besides, only God knows whose dream I’ll enter next! (she gets up) Goodbye, Alex… (walks offstage left)

(lights come up brighter)

DR. ALEX SLOAN: What can I do? (he looks at Emma one last time, then gets up out of bed and pulls his pants on. He glances over at the side table and sees a notepad and pen. He picks it up and starts writing) Dear, Emma… I’m sorry I wasn’t here when you woke up… I had a disturbing dream last night about Norma… I don’t know if I’m ready for something like this… I’m… I’m sorry. (Sloan shakes his head and places the note on the pillow beside Emma’s head. He picks up his shirt and walks offstage right.)

(Blackout.)


Act I: Scene X
(Sloan walks into his office to find Linda gone and Emma sitting in the waiting room with her head down. A silent moment passes. She looks up at him with a tear-stained face. Sloan stands there, speechless.)

EMMA BALLSY: I woke up this morning and you were gone.

DR. ALEX SLOAN: I know, I’m sorry-

EMMA BALLSY: Don’t be… you did leave a note. (She reaches into her purse and takes out the note he left her)

DR. ALEX SLOAN: Oh, right…

EMMA BALLSY: What did I do, Alex? Hm? How did I screw it up this time?

DR. ALEX SLOAN: I told you, it wasn’t you. It’s-

EMMA BALLSY: Me.

DR. ALEX SLOAN: It does sound kind of silly, doesn’t it? (Emma nods) Look, Emma. It’s not easy for me to be in a relationship.

EMMA BALLSY: Because of Alli? Or because of Norma? (Sloan pauses) I know it’s not Alli. So I know it must be Norma. But what I don’t understand is that she’s gone, she’s no longer in this world, and I’m here. I’m real. I’m with you. But I’m still losing you to someone who no longer exists!

DR. ALEX SLOAN: It’s more complicated than that-

EMMA BALLSY: Because of a dream? I don’t buy it, Alex. I don’t. She’s dead, Alex. I know it. Alli knows it. But you don’t. And I can’t keep trying to win you over here in the present when you’re still living in the past.

DR. ALEX SLOAN: (getting a bit more defensive) If I recall, I was the one who asked you out.

EMMA BALLSY: You’re right, Alex, you did. And ever since that moment I feel as though you’ve regretted it because no matter how hard I try, I can’t be Norma. I can’t be the perfect mother. I can’t be the submissive wife. I’m an outspoken, mistake-making, not-so-perfect woman. I can’t be someone I’m not.

DR. ALEX SLOAN: Then why’d you even come here?

EMMA BALLSY: Because I’m willing to fight for the bull-headed, passive-aggressive man I’ve fallen in love with- (She stops and covers her mouth. She starts to get up and leave, but Sloan grabs her arm)

DR. ALEX SLOAN: Emma-

EMMA BALLSY: No. (She pulls away and runs offstage left)

DR. ALEX SLOAN: Emma… (he picks up the jacket she left behind)

(Sloan sits in the chair Emma was in and puts his face in his hands. Norma walks in from upstage right, but out of Sloan’s sight. She watches him intently.)

DR. ALEX SLOAN: What do I do now, Norma? I love her, you know.  But I don’t have your blessing. What can I do? (Pauses. Smiles.) I don’t need to ask you, do I? (looks offstage after Emma) Goodbye, Norma. (gets up with Emma’s jacket in hand and races offstage after Emma. Norma smiles.)

(Blackout.)

Act I: Scene XI

(Curtain opens and Emma is sitting on the bench she was sitting on during the second scene. Sloan runs in and stops. He pauses before saying anything.)

DR. ALEX SLOAN: (he smiles) You miss, are not an easy person to follow. (Emma doesn’t move) You left this at my office (places her jacket next to her.) You know, I’ve had a little relationship trouble myself. (she still doesn’t move) You see, my wife- well, she’s now my late wife- if you know what I mean. I never thought I’d be able to get over it. But one day, a woman came into my office thinking I was a therapist. (he sits down. Emma looks at him)

EMMA BALLSY: Oh… really? (she sniffs)

DR. ALEX SLOAN: (smiles) Yeah. It turns out she found herself in my gynecologist’s office as a result of her idiot boyfriend’s scheme to find out if she was pregnant. What a dope, right?

EMMA BALLSY: Right…

DR. ALEX SLOAN: Well, you’ll be happy to know she broke up with him. (Emma smiles) In fact, this is the exact place where I first talked with her; I mean really talked with her. I fell in love with her here.

EMMA BALLSY: In love?

DR. ALEX SLOAN: Yes, in love. (he pauses) I’m sorry, Emma. I- I just didn’t know what to think after dreaming about Norma hating that I was with you.

EMMA BALLSY: Well-

DR. ALEX SLOAN: I know she’s dead and I shouldn’t have even thought twice about whether or not she’d be mad. I mean she’s dead-

EMMA BALLSY: Alex-

DR. ALEX SLOAN: So I shouldn’t even think about what her opinion would be, but-

EMMA BALLSY: Alex-

DR. ALEX SLOAN: I do, or, I did, and now I know that it was silly of me to even entertain the thought of her disapproving-

EMMA BALLSY: Alex, it’s perfectly normal to have-

DR. ALEX SLOAN: (passionately) But, I know I love you, despite the fact that we’ve only known each other a short time- (he is cut off by Emma kissing him.) Wow.

EMMA BALLSY: I love you too, Alex. (she takes his hand and they smile at each other.)

DR. ALEX SLOAN: Really?

EMMA BALLSY: I promise on my ex-boy friend’s grave. (she giggles)

DR. ALEX SLOAN: So you wouldn’t mind “going steady” with me?

EMMA BALLSY: (laughing) Going what?

DR. ALEX SLOAN: Steady. You know- a slang term for exclusive dating.

EMMA BALLSY: You’re pretty hip, daddy-o. (they stand up)

DR. ALEX SLOAN: Hey, I have a daughter. I know the lingo. I’m down with the deal-i-o

EMMA BALLSY: Oh, yes. You’re so cool, Alex. (she turns to leave)

DR. ALEX SLOAN: Wait- (he smiles as she turns back to him. He picks her up.) Don’t let go.

EMMA BALLSY: (she laughs) I’ll never let you go.

(Blackout.)

THE END