Angel

I remember everything. I remember how it happened. I remember how I felt. I remember her face when it happened. But now, things are different . I wish they could be the same , but another side wishes this paradox was not as it is. I miss her , but I know its better this way. When you die, you get a different perspective. You reflect on you mistakes and suddenly there not mistakes but rather choices. Choices that you can see how and why they were made and how they have changed you and made you the person you are.

You see that day was not like any other day. That is the day I became something. Something good, something with worth. Because of me , she will always be safe along with the rest of the world. That is unless the power shifts , they decided not to protect the balance of life or death. But rather pursue death. Everything happens for a reason. Everyone dies and lives for a reason. It is my job , to save the accidentals and be sure the musts die. Its the way we are organized. As guardians of the needy .

I was walking down 5th avenue, hot dog with extra ketchup in one hand and her hand in the other. She turned and looked into my eyes before it happened. Minutes. I kissed her as we proceeded with the procession of wall street business people and nobody's like us. We didn’t care. ‘ What in the hell did I do right god to deserve this girl .’ I remember thinking to myself. Her eyes like the ocean providing hope and mystery with each glance. Her brunette hair was always so soft and smelled like strawberries. Her skin was remarkable , golden and glowing. I wish I could tell what she was thinking at that moment. Probably that my hair looked goofy ( which she was always making fun of ) or maybe she was thinking about how I was wearing the ‘ special cologne’ the special cologne I only wore when I had something important to tell her. Maybe it was those shoes I wore despite her hatred of them. I wasn’t exceptionally sexy and debonair, I was more or less in touch with my geek side.

We turned the block and hand in hand continued west down 5th. “ You know I’m really excited for dinner tonight. “ She said with a smile . “ Me too. I have a surprise for you.” She stopped looking me in the eye placing her left hand on his chest. “ Oh really ? “She replied with her tone she saved for ‘ special occasions’. I smiled back I loved when she used that tone. “ Calm down not that kind of surprise “ I laughed. “ But you will love it I guarantee. “ She then kissed me . I loved the feeling of her lips against mine. So soft . So delicate. She pulled her hands away and turned the block yelling “ I will be ready at 7 . “ I yelled back “ Don't even try looking for it at home , you wont find it. “ I smirked with my conclusion. She looked back waved , mouthed goodbye and that was the last time I ever saw her.

Continuing down 5th I couldn't get her off my mind. I must have looked like the biggest lovesick loser strolling down the avenue, smile from cheek to cheek . I turned into the bank and got in line for the tellers. A man and a woman in front of me were in the midst of a quarrel and behind me a mom telling her kids to stand still. One was a little girl about 6 with light blonde hair and brown eyes. She had a Barbie in one hand and a kids dress up purse in the other. Her 8 year old brother on the other hand was poking her and making fun of the girls princess costume . “ That dress is stupid . “ he said . “ Your stupid “ she replied but obviously fazed by the comment. “ Mommy ..”She tugged at her mothers purse while her mother was trying to write out a check . “ What dear?” With a pouting lip she cried “ Jeremy made fun of my dress. “ “ Jeremy don’t do that again. “ . I turned away from the scene and went up to the teller for my turn.

“ Hi , I just want to make a deposit. “ I handed her the slip written out for $1,600. “ So what are you splurging on?” The teller asked while entering it into the computer. “ Engagement ring. “ I said with a grin. “ Wow , well for that price the girl is defiantly lucky. “ I replied softly “ No , I’m the lucky one. “ She just smiled and put the money into an envelope. “ I’ll be right back with your receipt. “

She walked away and I turned around to watch the mother and children once more. “ Jeremy Anthony Johnson! I told you to behave , that's it now, your not getting any candy from the bank teller. “ The mother scolded. “ Nooooo!!” Jeremy cried . “ Too bad , and when we get home you can think about what you have done today. “ . The boy began to pout and walked away to go sit on a couch , pretending to ignore his mother. I turned back to the window to see if the teller had come back. Not yet. I looked to the door as I heard the metal detectors beep. The man looked far from innocent. I will also never be able to forget that face. He had look so normal . Jeans that were just a little baggy. He wore Sunglasses and a Yankees hat Nike Sneakers . Normal figure. No tattoos, not stereotypical bank robber ski mask. Rough beard and stress lines around his eyes. He took out a gun immediately and began firing orders out. “ Everyone to the ground now , put your hands behind you head and don't move. Do not test me in anyway . I will kill you. “ The single police man on the left unlatched his gun and pointed it at the criminal . “ Do not move. My gun is armed. Drop the weapon and put your hands.....” Bang.

Jeremy was still on the couch . He had his head hidden under the backside and was peaking out across the top. At the gunfire he screamed and his head under the couch again. “ Nobody move. “ He held his gun out the side as he proceeded to the couch. Jeremy's whimpering were quiet but audible . He stepped closer and closer with caution to the couch. The mother got up. “ Stay here she instructed the little girl . “ She pulled a gun out of her purse and began walking towards the back of the criminal . She loaded the gun and pointed it. At this point I had no idea what to do . Stop that lady , or stay with the little girl . The little girl , got up and tip toed over to her mother. I got up and ran after her. The little girl yelled “ Mommy! “ and the shooter turned around. The little boy ran off from the couch and outside the bank . The shooter began yelling at the lady. “ Control your kid. Better yet ... “ He pointed the gun at her. I watched his finger around the trigger. I ran in front of the woman , holding her little girl at the ends of her life. Seconds. In that moment the gun was fired. I knew it . I knew this is my way . This is it. I felt the bullet. In my abdomen. I felt the warm blood. Across my fingers. I choked and dropped to the ground. I felt my eyes roll behind my head . The woman looked at me with an unspeakable impression . “ Tell Kate...”.I coughed . “ Anderson “ I spit out. “That I love her .” and then I was gone.

Gone off the world I am today . The same world I left , only in different form. I have become what I died as . A guardian of all who are worthy and the needy. The place I woke up in was not earth . It was another world . Not easy to explain the unexplained . It was my judgment . This was my beginning. Not knowing what had happened I got up from nothing. I felt lost but at the same time something told me that this was were I was to belong. I walked around pacing in circles . This place was like nowhere I had ever or could ever go. It was like standing in a big white room , only this wasn't a room but a waiting abyss. I paced trying to find out what had happened and then she came to mind again. What of her? The love of my life, my soul mate the woman who made me smile on rainy days. At that moment I cared more about how her heart would break than were I was.

“ Andrew Nelson. Your day has come . You were meant for much more than you realize. “ A voice came. I looked around , turned and a man was there. He was about 6’3 with a gangly frame. He had brown messy hair and dark brown eyes. he looked as if he was of Spanish descent . “God?” I asked . The man sighed. and rolled his eyes. “ For once I would love someone to be happy to just meet an angel . No one ever cares about an Angel until they meet one , then they can go off boasting to all their kin about the ’ miracle ’ they witnessed. “He ranted accentuating with his fingers miracle. “ Oh I ...I’m sorry I...” “ Whatever , it happens every time. “ he replied with a wave .” Lets get this straight , Hi, to you I go by Sir. God he doesn't live here .” “ Where is he?” I ask . “ somewhere else . somewhere that needs him a lot more than here. “ The angel replied. I began to follow his stride when I suddenly found myself tripping. I looked down and an arm chair had appeared. “ Take a seat.” He said. I sat down still speechless. “ Do you know why your here?” “ Because I died?” I replied in a clueless tone. “ Well there’s that but , you ... you are something greater than you can comprehend. How did you die?” At this point my head was spinning. I had never been great , I was not athletic , I was not valedictorian , I was a mere waiter in a New York coffee shop. “ I got shot. Protecting a woman and child. “ I said with no emotion. “ What happened to them anyways?” “ They are in good hands do not worry your life was not in vain, they were protected and survived along with the little boy and everyone else in the bank. “ He replied taking a sip from a golden chalice. “ So what do you mean my life was not in vain?” I questioned not losing the subject. “ I mean that you were meant for more. You are meant to become one of earths guardians , a member of Christ's military you could say. “ Still unsure I gave him a face that said ‘ you mean a ...’ “ Yes , an angel . You are going to be greater than you ever imagined.” I looked at him in shock. This had to be a dream he had to be kidding . “ You don’t believe me do you?” He questioned pulling closer to me. “ Not really .” I replied . “ You died as a savior , not everyone’s heart is as willing.” I put my face in my hands . and mumbled. “ Why me ? Why now , I was going to marry the woman I love!” I cried to him. “ Do you not understand what it is I am saying ? It was your time because of the balance of life and death. You are needed for a greater force in this world than I think you even understand. The world is in peril of an evil force. It needs to be stopped. Only those with pure of heart are chosen for this kind of work. Because of you that little girl is going to be able to grow up , become president and make her mark in the world by virtually ending world hunger, but she could not do that if she had died. “ I was confounded and indubitably baffled.” So it is the work of Satan , why that bank robbery happened?” “ Yes and no , like I said the world needs a balance of good and bad. The bank robbery was going to happen as a choice of that robber himself. or Evil whispering in his ear, but it is the work of Satan , that the robber used a gun and became so violent. Satan is a force not needs to be calmed occasionally , and thus the reasons of violence across the world . It was the work of Satan for the Holocaust, for the success of the Atomic bomb on Nagasaki and Hiroshima, the September 11th nutcases. It is the work of demons when things like a car is stolen , or a bank is robbed . Minor happenings. “ “ So , is a war about to begin?” I questioned again. “ Precisely. “ Getting up a replied “ Look like I said , I have always been a nobody , and then I die and am told I am going to be a great warrior in a sense , this all to surreal , this is ....is.. ridiculous! I am a loser. “ He stood up and took my face in his hands making me uncomfortable. “ You , are more skilled than you know. You were chosen for a reason and will fight for god’s kingdom. For the fate of everything that is good in the universe and you will surprise yourself. You feel like this is nothing , because you have yet to experience anything. You are a being of good and joy. Be proud not scared.” I cried a tear. “ All I want is my Kate.” I whimpered. “ I cannot give that to you. It is not her time , and you will not be able to do anything to mess that up for yourself or hers. It will happen for her when it is meant to, just as it did with you.”

As stunned as I was for this to be happening , I felt like I didn’t have a choice. I was almost beginning to understand his words. This was something greater than I could comprehend , but at the same time something I wouldn’t turn my back on even if I had the choice. “ When do I begin training?” I asked him. “ As soon as you feel ready . “ He replied. I looked at him. Trying to read his mind. “ I’m ready” I replied with a determined tone. “ Wonderful. Follow me , we will begin training precisely. “

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The training grounds were different from what I had imagined. Out of the white abyss this is more like the heaven people imagine. Golden sky was around us , the ground lay suspended on a platform .Suspended in the air like it was weightless floating in the clouds. It was a field , looked like a football field only an array of white marked circles from one end to the other. The grass was the greenest I had ever seen. Surrounded the field was some steel chain link like fences.
“ This place is amazing “ I stammered out.
“ Yes , it is truly extraordinary. It has been renovated you know! We renovated in 1884 earth year. “” 1884? How long have you been dead?” I asked in shock. “ Dead long enough to know what is coming and to know how to train those who can stop it.” He smiled gesturing over to the first circle. “ Okay , now we have fences up so don’t be scared, you wont fall off , and even if you did , you body will pick up the change in velocities and carry you back up the platform. I want you to stand outside the circle right here..” He said gesturing to the edge , and began to instruct. I looked at him concentrating on each and every word. Filtering nothing.” I want clear your mind. Think of nothing but goodness. If you have to think of your Kate then think of that but whatever makes you feel weightless and wonderful on the inside out. “ I stood in my mind seeing everything I loved about her. I saw her soul, her eyes , felt that silk called hair , I felt her lips on mine and saw her smile when she shined. Everything about her is all I needed to make me begin to levitate. I didn’t even realize it when I was doing it . I had my eyes closed. I was pictured her , telling me she loved me , laughing when I tickled her knees. I could feel her soft skin and smell her hair. I opened my eyes. “ Ah! “ I gasped , almost falling then my body stopped short. I looked at the other angel and he was smiling. “ Isn't it grand? “ He gleamed. “ Hu? , ugh , yeah. And scary. “ I stumbled. I looked at my arms and my hands checking out my body. I was gleaming shining like an exo-layer of protection of some sort was around me. A gold smoke that surrounded my being and held me like a second skin.

“ What is this? “ I asked. “ That is what makes you so special. By being able to fly , it says that you are what you are. A guardian . It protects you from earthly means of deaths . It does not protect you from demonic , or hellish ways. “ I looked at my hand again studying it. “ Am I going to have...” “ Wings? No . Not yet at least . Every angel has to earn his wings . You don’t need the wings to do what we are asking of you. A war is to start but your duty will be to ward off the demons and protect the needy. “ I was confused. “ So why am I even practicing flying then?” He looked at me and sighed. “ Why do we have to take algebra in high school , why do we have to pay bills, because you have to be prepared for what may or may not come. “ I began to come down so I could speak to his level . He saw this and began to come up to my level . He didn't float like me but rather flapped his wings up. When they came out from his back it was truly amazing . I sight I would never forget. Left one first then the right. Each feather began to open and bend foreword and back stretching itself to the proper position . Layers upon layers of whites and grays distorting themselves through the span. “ wow. “ I said. I couldn't think of anything less. “ Yeah I think their pretty nice.” he said with a grin .