Where Were You

Where were you
When I needed you so,
Absent as I grew up
Mom taught me everything I know.

I'd cry myself to sleep
Each and every night,
Wondering how I could make
My Dad see the light.

What if I put my toys away
And ate all on my plate,
Is this what made you leave
And caused you to hate?

At four years old
I became the man at home,
Taking care of the family you started
You didn't care enough to phone.

Never had that influence
To show me how to be a man,
I have always felt like
My life was stuck in quicksand.

No one to teach me
How to throw or bat,
It was when I was fourteen
When the bottle and I began to chat.

I drank to forget
The despair really started to rain,
How else is a young boy
Supposed to deal with this pain?

School was a joke
I really hated you,
Daddy don't care about me
Was the only lesson I knew.

With no education and job
My only option was crime,
I was willing to risk
Easy money for doing time.

I've been out for a year now
After doing five for my misdeed,
I had a lot of time to think
And work out a new creed.

Don't know why you left
Leaving Mom and I to deal,
That was the reality
No matter your spiel.

My pain I have to confront
And finally put it to bed,
Putting my life together
For the woman who I'll wed.

I'm better in spite of this
A victim no more,
Meeting all challenges head on
There's much more life in store.

In order to move forward
My fury for you can not last,
This is why I tracked you down
So I can bury my past.

I forgive you openly
But I will never forget,
You have to deal with your demons
And pay for your own debt.

I'm sorry Mom didn't see
How I turned my life around,
I wish I would have honored her better
Before she was buried in the ground.

Soon my first will be born
I swear I'll never cause that pain,
I won't be absent in my child's life
Breaking the noose of your chain.