In His Presence

The happiest moment of my life happened nearly ten years ago. I was a single mother at the time, raising two kids on a meager salary. I loved my job though and the benefits were great. I could take days off if my kids were sick and still get paid for it. I had medical insurance that made co-pay and prescriptions affordable even for me. I worked with a group of people that had become almost like family to me.

After several months, I began to date one of my co-workers. I was scared at first but not so much that I wanted to stop seeing him. At the time, I didn’t think things would get very serious so I didn’t see the need to worry. After what I had been through in my marriage I wasn’t about to fall in love anyway. I knew I couldn’t trust men.

God, however, had other plans. As time progressed, I began to have feelings for Damon that truly frightened me. Even then I wasn’t about to say the “l” word. For some reason I felt that if I didn’t say the word then those feelings wouldn’t be validated thus making it easier on me emotionally if the relationship ended.

I knew if the relationship ended, I would not be able to face him at work. I also knew that I couldn’t afford to quit my job. Damon had been a good friend to me before we started dating and that was something I didn’t want to lose. My stomach was in knots constantly. I wasn’t sleeping particularly well. My faith was a bit shaken but I still prayed every night.

I prayed that God would lead me down the right path. I prayed that if things weren’t meant to be that our relationship would end on good terms. I prayed that if things were meant to last in that relationship God would give me the strength and courage I needed to let down my guard.

One night while praying, with tears running down my face, something happened that changed me forever. An overwhelming sense of peace, love, and happiness came over me. I could feel a presence all around me like nothing I’ve ever felt before or since. I knew that I was in His presence.

The first thing that came to my mind was “Every knee will bow”, and bow I did. The second was the realization that I was not worthy of such love and peace that I was feeling then. I was afraid, but not in the same way I had been. Then, a whispering to my heart began.

“Let go of your fear, wipe the tears from your eyes. This man will not hurt you. He is the one I meant for you to be with. Let go of your fear and love him as I love you.”

With those words softly spoken, I felt something in me change. The wall I had built to protect my heart came tumbling down. That feeling of peace, love, and happiness remained with me until sleep carried me off into the world of dreams. The next day Damon told me he loved me. After what I had been through the night before I was able to tell him that I loved him too. Not long after that, he asked me to marry him. We have been happily married for eight years now and I still thank God daily for blessing me with him.

No words will ever adequately describe what I felt that night. The best I can do to describe it is this. Imagine the happiest day of your life, imagine the love you feel for someone close to you, imagine what little peace life offers and imagine all those emotions amplified a million times. Even that does not come close to what I felt that night.

Such happiness, peace, and love is something we will only find in His presence.