To Someone Real Enough To Hurt Me

I see the mask I wore
slipping onto your face.
I see the sickness in my mind
in yours, roots stretching into place.

I've fought the lies and yearnings
and they're becoming old.
I've weakened the chains of habits
chaining me in my past's hold.

I cried and screamed and bled.
I've struggled hard to die.
It's been harder yet to break
the walls of tears I'd cry.

I know that no one can stop you,
after all I've been there too.
But I also know how hard it is
to recover from what you do.

You cannot understand
how much I feel the blame
as I watch You morph into Me,
Identical except our names.

My heart tells me I can help you.
It's a lie I will admit.
Deluded that you're in control,
you assure me you can quit.

I am too scared to leave you
and flee to save myself.
I am too weak to stop you
from lying to yourself.

If I stay, I could fall
into chains I no longer bear.
I'll wear my mask again,
but I love you and don't care.

I'm going to stay with you
and try to stop your slide,
but my love cannot save you
and I doubt I'll leave your side.

I don't want to be sick again,
my Soul once more broken and impaled.
I cannot abandon "us" though...
what if you complete the suicide I failed?