Captain Vlad's Trusty Tupolev

The voice sweeps through the cabin like a pig's vodka laced squealing
" Thanks for flying Aeroflot, this is your captain speaking
Please do not be too alarmed if you hear a certain creaking
We think it's just the fuel tank, we think it might be leaking "
The wings fell off last tuesday, but someone stuck them back
They couldn't find the sellotape and had to use blu-tack
The flight should take about five hours, but may only last for three
Don't be surprised by an unscheduled nose-dive into the Caspian Sea
30,000 feet today is our predicted summit
That'll be our cruising height until we start to plummet
Engines stutter
Hearts a flutter
Tail-fins rattle
Gravity battle
The onboard radio show
Plays "Down Down " by Status Quo
Yes, Russian planes are rubbish so board one if you dare
And Captain Vlad will do his best to keep it in the air