Untitled

Introduction:

I sat with my eyes glued to the body as the paramedics took it out of the room. The body was cold when they covered it and usually it was warm and loving. Without the pink happiness in skin color, I could only see the body as cold. The body was limp; never to hold me in it's arms again. The body belonged to me, it was mine and they were taking it away from me along with my life. That body was all I had left, all that meant something to me. That body was me, that body was my father.

That was the last of my father's face that I can remember. He had shot himself in that very room and left each of us a note. I've reread his last words over and over everyday since his sudden death. Life took such a turn without me even realizing it. I shut out the world the day of the funeral.

The entire family came that day to help us all realize that my father had a great life and how tragic it was that we ran it so far into the ground, that he had to shot himself. Everybody thought of it mostly as my brother's fault including myself. He way the last person to even talk to my father, yelling at him about not being able to go out with his friends that Friday night because my father needed help finishing up some of the orders of furniture. He cursed up a storm at my father and then slammed the door in his face separating him for what he didn't know would be the rest of his life.

My brother held his head up high the day of the funeral even though so many of our relatives shunned him, calling him, “the problem of our family," and” a wreck to society." The whole time I agreed with them. If my brother hadn't have had to yell at my father so much then we'd still have him here today and not be all dressed in black, mourning over his death. My mother was hysterical; crying up a storm, yet the only one to comfort her was my brother. He walked her in and out of the church with his strong arms holding her up. I didn't even care about my mother's cries or my brother being shunned. I cared more for what was in the coffin in front of us. I was the last one out of the church and the last one home that night. My brother had waited up for me and tried to reach out but I pushed on through.

"Chelsa, come on, as least talk to me, or do you blame me too?" those were the last words I heard before I closed my door behind me and sat in the dark. My mom had fallen asleep on the couch with half-full bottles of alcohol spread over the table, and some sappy movie left on playing. I couldn't find it in my heart to tell either one of them that it was going to be okay because I found both of them to be at fault.

That was the night I decided to shut myself out of their lives and cut myself from the picture totally. That was the night where I found that hating them was far better than loving them and that leaving them to be alone was better than hanging around them all the time. That was the night everything in my life took a sudden turn. That was the end of the other me.

*******Chapter One*******

"Chelsa get up already," My Ex-brother  was banging on my door like he always did whenever I was going to make him late foe work, I never did mind him and I rolled back over in my bed. The sheets were my comfort, nice purple satin sheets. They kept me from the world outside and kept me safe from having to go out and talk to my ex- family.

It was Saturday, six months since my father shot himself and I had done very well at not being part of their family. I had portrayed the outsider very well for a while now, using them to get food, rides and money. Never once had I really cared, nor did they ever seem to. I t was a vicious cycle but we were used to it.

My ex-mom had taken up drinking and was rarely sober after she got home from work. She kept saying that we were going to move out of this place every night but never got around to actually doing anything like it. My ex-brother had taken the lead role in the family. He paid the bills, bought the groceries, took care of his mom, made sure I got to school, and that dinner was always done and on the table by six’ o’clock just has my father had done. Nobody called us and nobody sent packages like they used to. We lived alone almost completely shut off from the world and each other.

It was mornings like this I hated. I had managed to get in Mr. Dernings's class this week another Saturday detention and if I were late, surely I would get one next week too. Yet even though I knew this, I wasn't about to get out of bed unless someone forced it on me. The sheets and comforter were, well too comfortable to get out of and I knew my ex-brother wouldn't just walk in because last time he did he freaked out about my sleepwear. Should have seen his eyes as he glanced at me and found that I was covered in nothing at all. Bet he never saw me the same way again, what a shame.

After a few more threats and bangs on the door I got up and pulled on some black underwear and a pair of tight blue jeans which hung from my waist, and then a holey worn out red t-shirt. I pulled back my newly dyed black hair into a ponytail, dropped all my make-up into my book bag and opened the door. From the way my ex-brother stood he half expected me to open the door naked and yell at him.

(((Updated)))

“Thought you’d never get up,” He sighed in relief that I was clothes and started off down the stairs ahead of me. “You know you wouldn’t have to get up so early if you would sop getting these stupid detentions every weekend.”
         
“Oh shut up, you don’t even know what you are talking about Drake. Just keep on walking and drive me over there, without a lecture,” I watched as he stopped and turned around like he was going to say something, but instead he shook his head and continued down the stairs and into the living room to pick up his jacket and keys off the table.

“I won’t be able to pick you up so I hope you have a ride home today,” His bright blue eyes stared at my face as I kicked the ground impatiently.
“I’m going out with Seth after detention. He’ll give me a ride.” I knew it would strike a nerve with him, that’s why I said it. Seth had been my boyfriend since before the suicide of my father and even then my brother hadn’t thought very fondle of him. He was four inches taller than me, a rock guitar player in a band, had shaggy blonde hair, and this awesome Corvette. I didn’t really like him too much these days but pretended to, just so I could keep him around. We seemed like the perfect pair to most eyes, he played his music too much and I played my music to loud. Together we could seem inseparable but since the funeral, we had gone through so many fights and hang-ups on the phone that our relationship was either demanding to be over or asking to be fixed.

Drake stared at me a while longer before looking down at his watch and moving towards the door. His old beat up pick-up truck was sitting near the newly done lawn. It was rusty and looked like had ran by and beat huge dents in the side but he so called love it and would never get a new car no matter how much I complained. He swore it was because he had so many great memories in it but I knew it was because we couldn’t afford to get a new truck. I didn’t say anything just in case he wouldn’t give me rides anymore.

The ride to school was silent. I had gotten to him with the whole Seth thing and now he would not talk to me until we reached the school. I hated silence especially silence in the truck. I rolled down the window half way through the ride to smell the newly coming fall weather. Summer had been way longer than anyone had expected. It had lasted halfway through September this year, before giving into the fall weather and losing its reign over our town. The trees were starting to change their colors and their leaves were starting the journey to the ground. It always puzzled me why trees did this before winter and not summer. It would only make sense to shed all the extra baggage when the sun would be shining instead of freezing in the cold air.

I turned to the front after sticking my head out the window. Drake was humming to the radio and paying attention to the road. We still had five blocks to go so I pulled out a tube of mascara and started to put it on in the rear view mirror like usual. After getting halfway through my routine, the mirror was yanked away from me.

“What in the world Drake? I’m not done with that!” I reached up and pulled the mirror back so I could finish but Drake grabbed my hand a swerved to the side of the road.

“The mirror isn’t used for your make-up rituals. I need it to pay attention to what’s behind me. Chelsa this isn’t your boyfriend’s car and I’m not going to allow it anymore. If Sheriff Charles catches us driving down the road and you putting on your make-up again-“

“He’s going to give you a ticket,” I said mocking the Sheriff like I had so many times before, “I know Drake but do you see anybody who even looks like a cop around here? No You don’t. Let me finish my one eye and I’ll finish the rest at school.” After that I grabbed the mirror and started to finish plastering on the mascara. Drake sighed and waited until I was done. He was always impatient, never waiting for anyone else to finish what they wanted to so and when he did he huffed and puffed.

“You never used to wear all that stuff, Drake said as I put the mirror back in place and put the mascara in my bag for safe keeping.

“Things change Drake. Does it bother you that much? Because I can put even more on,” I smirked at him and he started t pull back onto the road.

“Before you were probably the coolest person I knew, but now you are the world’s biggest witch to everyone. I see things change. Heck I even know they change.” He paused as if to think of something else. I waited as the silence in the truck grew again.

“This is your last ride from me. I’m no longer your taxi driver. From now on find your own way around town.” That ended the conversation right then and there. I didn’t believe him at first but then I looked in his face and saw the look my father used to give me when I had done something wrong. I thought awhile between that moment and school on how I could get him back to liking me but nothing great came to mind; until we arrived at school that is.

I knew I couldn’t get in his good graces now but I could do more damage when I saw that pretty little red corvette sitting on the parking lot next to Mr. Dernings’s piece of junk car. Seth was standing up against it smoking a cigarette. My brother’s neck tensed up as we pulled into the parking lot The window was still rolled down and we could hear a recording of Seth’s band playing from his car. I watched Drake get a little more uncomfortable before leaning out the window and yelling.

“Hey Seth want to start giving me rides to school and detentions?” Drake grabbed my leg and pulled me back in the truck.

“Yeah, I’ll give you rides Chelsa,” Seth called from the car putting his cigarette out.

I jumped out of the truck the minute it stopped with out telling my ex-brother goodbye. He called something behind me but I wasn’t even paying attention to him anymore. Instead, I was Jumping into Seth’s arms and waited until my ex-brother turned around before laying a big kiss on Seth. My hands were tangled in his hair and I could feel his arms around my back. The sound of Drake’s tuck slowly disappeared. I stood there for about five more second in Seth’s embrace as the other detentionees pulled up and then I broke from the kiss. There I left another mess I would have to clean up later.


I hated detention with Mr. Dernings. I always felt out of place. I was stuck here with the overly dumb jock, the prissy ‘I had cheerleading practice’ cheerleader, the booger picking nerd and then the pale skin all wearing black Goth Freak. If Seth didn’t have detention with the local ‘best looking science teacher’ then I would have someone to agree with me while we sat and waited for detention to be over. Yet like always, he got detention for knocking over the equipment while not paying attention in class and then by making comments about another student who helped the teacher clean it up. I knew he didn’t care about getting detention because the teacher was hot and she was young. While he got something nice to look at it never failed that I was stuck in a boring English class on a Saturday.

He had walked me to the staircase leading up to English and the other language classrooms. It was a subtle goodbye seeing as though Mr. Dernings was always waiting for me at the top of the staircase. I looked up to see the tall, black haired teacher staring down at me. His cartoon tie threw me off as I walked up to him. It was the usual detention business we’d been doing for the last month. We’d walk up to his classroom, he’d get out a stack of papers and grade while I was supposed to sit for five hours and write some stupid paper that I should have been doing in his class, but the only thing different today was that Mr. Dernings was whistling while he graded papers.

I looked up at him before pulling out my make-up and not working at all. He looked oddly happy. I rolled my eyes and pulled out my mirror and eye lines. My eyes had become my main attention lately. I was trying to see how different I could get them from my mothers. Her eyes were the same dark radiant green as mine so I tried everything to get them to seem darker or lighter with using colored contacts. It took me five minutes to finish both eyes and Mr. Dernings hadn’t stopped me halfway thorough like he normally did.

“How about we cut this detention short this time Chelsa?” Mr. Dernings broke the whistling long enough to come up with two hours later.

I stared at him for about five minutes before realizing that he was actually serious about cutting detention short by two and a half hours. I nodded in complete surprise and Mr. Dernings stood up.

“But don’t think that I’m going to do this every weekend if we happen to get detention again Chelsa,” Mr. Dernings smiled and walked me to the door. “By the way let me see what you wrote on that paper of yours.”

I pulled the paper out of my bag and handed it to him. It was about half-full of small handwriting. After quickly giving it to Mr. Dernings, I ran off down the hallway to avoid any communication about what I had written. I knew I could write. I used to be the first in my class but after my father’s death, I didn’t want anybody to have a reason to talk to me. Mr. Dernings just happened to be in such a good mood today I would have felt bad to ruin it with my insubordination. I just hoped he would forget about it by Monday and return to his normal self.

I walked out of the classroom and to the stairs. I was almost home free. The steps looked wet  but I didn’t care I needed to get out of this school before he could get me and want to talk about the ridiculous paper I had written. I should never have done it but it was like the old me was trying to get out and I no longer had any control over it. By leaving quickly, I could avoid any other chances of it happening.

“Chelsa! Wait a minute! Mr. Dernings was coming to talk. I knew it! I didn’t want detention next weekend too so I spun around.

“What detention wasn’t enough of a torture for –“before I could get the word you out I felt myself slipping. My foot had hit the wet spot on the stairs. I could feel my self-starting to fall. I couldn’t stop it. I was too far away from the railings. I braced myself for the pain. It was coming I knew it. The fall felt like an hour. I shut my eyes, my heart beat faster, I knew for sure I was a goner. If only I had, if only- wait instead of falling I felt someone’s arms around my waist. Maybe it had been Seth yah, He would have saved me for sure, or maybe Mr. Dernings. I opened my eyes to see the most beautiful creature looking down on me.
         His white rosy cheeks looked down on my face with sparkling blue eyes. He had short choppy black hair that outlined his face.  If I had believed in fairytales, I could have said he was my Prince charming but instead I jumped up out of his arms and regained an upright position.

“Don’t know why you had to touch me. I was fine on my own.” I snarled at him and then turned to Mr. Dernings. “What did you want so bad that you almost made me fall to my death?”

I waited for an answer and unruffled my t-shirt smoothing it back over my hips. He paused and stared at me for a moment longer looking at me and then the boy who had caught me.

“Where did this come from?” he held up the paper I had handed him. I knew there was something about today that would not be great and here it was. I could feel myself wanting to explain while at the same time getting angry. I had yet to think of an excuse. My heart was still pounding. I had slipped I had let myself be happy for one moment long enough to write a paragraph or two.

I paused a second more. “It came out of my bag and into your hand. Now if you’ll excuse me.” I tried to make a quick get away but the boy from earlier was still behind me. I glanced at him, then Mr. Dernings and then stepping over the wet spot made it down the stairs, and then once I was out of sight I ran all the way out of the school. I couldn’t let them get into me. It was too much to handle.


(((((WILL CONTINUE BE BACK FOR MORE IN A COUPLE OF DAYS!))))