Flower Plower

I sat at my wooden desk in my tiny cubicle. One out of hundreds and hundreds in the gray, monotone office landscape. I was making the last preparations for my upcoming presentation. This was a great career for me opportunity. If I made a convincing argument that my market strategy was the best way for the company to keep its leading position in the future it would ensure me a big step up the career ladder, a very big step.

In the corner of my eye I could see Angela making her way towards my cubicle. It was time.

- “Mr. Peters, will see you now”

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. I gathered my papers and followed her to the conference room in the other end of the office. I was nervous.My hands began to perspire and my heart increased its pace for every step I took towards the conference room, but it was a good kind of nervous. The kind that keeps you alert and on your toes. I knew in my heart that I had done a good job with project and I was anxious to show my superiors what I could accomplish when I put my mind to something. This could very well be a once in a lifetime chance.

Time flew by during the presentation and when I was done I knew I had impressed Mr. Peters.

- “Very good. Very good indeed”, he said leaning back in his chair.

- “I will definitely present this to management when I go up to head quarters next week.”

My hands began to feel sweaty again and my heart rate increased yet again, but this time I wasn’t nervous. I was excited.

- “In fact why don’t you come along and assist me. It’s only a two hour drive. You have a license, right?”

“Y-y-y-e-s”, I stuttered out barely audible.

“Good. It’s settled then. Angela will give you all the details tomorrow.”

I could feel a big lump growing in my stomach. My entire career depended on me driving my boss for four whole hours. This could only end in disaster or worse, the hospital.

Yes, I have a license. No I can not drive. Well technically I can drive, but I’m easily distracted and often lose focus on the traffic around me. It's not a good thing to have your mind wonder while operating a car. It's a miracle I got my license in the first place.

Almost every time I drive I have an incident or at least a very close call. Usually nothing serious. I go up on the curb, have a light fender bender, drive against a red light or perhaps scratch another car in a parking lot. Small things, but many things and most important expensive things.

When I drive someone for the first time, usually the only time, the same lines are almost always exchanged.

- “Aaarrghhh! Man, did you find your license in a cereal box?”

- “I might as well have. I might as well have.”

I went the whole week imaging the next scenario worse than the previous; head on collisions, driving off bridges and so on. The closer we got to the impending dooms day the more nervous I got. This was not the good kind of nervous.

We were suppose to leave at six in the morning and in the night before I didn’t sleep one minute. I was a bad driver to begin with and now it could only get worse. I pondered calling in sick, but it was too late to bail now. I had to go through with it, pray and hope for the best. Before I left I had a healthy breakfast consisting of four candy bars and eight or nine cups of coffee. I was a walking zombie wound up on caffeine and sugar. I was ready as I'd ever be. It was go time.

Amazingly, for the first time in five years, I managed to drive without an incident. There wasn't even a close call. I don’t know how it happened, maybe I was too tired to be distracted or maybe the importance of the trip kept me focused. Whatever it was I felt very pleased with my self when I saw the city line rising above the horizon. I had managed the first half of the trip, I started to relax.

We drove up to the office building where our head quarters where located. In front there was a small roundabout, in the middle there was hundreds, maybe thousands of beautiful flowers planted. They were arranged to form the company logo and they were surrounded with small white picked fences.

Ba-bam!

As I turned my head to left, admiring the roundabout, I had subsequently also turned the steering wheel in the same direction, causing the car crash through the picket fences in to the arranged flowers. The windshield was covered with flowers in a sudden burst of red, blue and orange. Mr. Peters shrieked out like a little school girl. I could see the terror in his eyes.

The car finally came to a halt in the far end of the roundabout. I closed my eyes and banged my head against the dashboard over and over again. Within a couple of seconds I went from middle management to unemployed.

We sat in silence for what seemed like an eternity. It was finally Mr. Peters who spoke-

- “This is the reason I brought you with me.”

“.......................”, I was speechless. He wanted a reason to fire me?

“You see, I'm a horrible driver. I actually did the exact same thing a couple of months back. They call me Flower Plower up here.”

We looked at each other for a few moments and then we, simultaneously, broke out in to uncontrollable laughter.

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