No, no, no, not again!! First my Mom now my son! |
Looking down at his tiny pained body I was transported back to the day my sister came and took me for a long ride. "Come on sweetie, take a ride with me I've got something I have to tell you." She said taking my hand. I got in the van with her and off we went. God, how I loved that van. It was a conversion that my sister had done herself and I thought it was just the most amazing thing in the world. But then there wasn't much that my sister did that I wasn't in awe of back then. She was one of my heroes. In my eyes she could do no wrong. She was afraid of nothing and always knew exactly what to say or do to make my day. This ride was the beginning of the end of that unconditional awe. "Angel, you know that Mommy has not been feeling well . . . You know that I took her to the doctor last week . . . Well we got the results back and Mommy has cancer, sweetie, and it’s really bad . . . There is nothing that they can do for her. The doctor says she has, maybe six months at the most." Oh, my God, oh my God, who transported me into a script of Marcus Welby, this cannot be real. "...And honey, I think you should know that she did not want me to tell you. And you're not allowed to talk about it with anyone. You know how Mommy is, very private." How in the world could she not tell me, we live together, just the two of us. Doesn't she think I'll notice that she's dying? This was the second installment of the weirdest ride in my life. I had just come down from the completely unexpected announcement that my brand-new Step-Dad had died of a massive heart attack. It was only six weeks after the wedding and as quickly as he had come back into her life he was gone. Albert was the man she had fallen in love with so many years earlier. But, he had a wife and she had a husband and that would just never happen. Apparently his wife had died of bone cancer. He waited the proper year and went off in search of my Mom and boy did he find her. This was a love story like none ever written. I mean he was really a knight in shining armor. We had a year of magical, wonderful times. They had a beautiful intimate wedding and six weeks later he’s gone. He was gone and she gave up. You see this cancer was no news to my Mom. She had been diagnosed many years before. She had opted for no treatment. She believed that her odds were better without being poisoned and mutilated. She was a poster child for holistic medicine. And it had been working, that is until he died and took her heart. It only makes sense a body surely can't live without a heart. My senior year in High School, my Mommy is dying and I'm not supposed to tell anyone. This is definitely not the recipe for a healthy teen. Thank God I did tell people and for the most part I chose the people well. Because I was to find out that the people, I used to lean on were no longer up to the task. His little voice brought me back from the past. "Mommy, Mommy, your phone is ringing." It was my sister, and this time it was I who would be taking her on a long ride. Only this time I am prepared, I know how it works. She's no super hero and I'm not a baby anymore. |