Hairspray

    It was that unmistakable smell that Nicole had grown to hate over the past few years.  The scent of the aerosol used by her mother had become normal to Nicole because it was one that unpleasantly met her nose night after night.  The awful aroma always led to her mom leaving to go out to the club, hang with her boyfriend, or chill with friends.
    Hearing her mother come toward her, Nicole quickly fixed her focus onto the program on the television, some boring law show, hoping she would walk on by.  Every time her mom was about to leave, she would complain to Nicole, giving her some random excuse as to why she was leaving.  This was to help Anna feel better about leaving her daughter home--as if she cared.
    "Nicole, I'm very sorry but my friend Kelly, her ex-husband is trying to get full custody of her kids and she just needs someone to talk to.  So I'm just going to go over to her house for a little.  I'll be home soon, just calle me if you need me.  K hunn?"  whined Anna, trying to sound as if she didn't really want to go.
    "Yea, yea... Have fun," mutter Nicole, knowing that every word out of her mother's mouth was a lie.
    "Now Nicole, you know I absolutely hate leaving you here alone.  To make it up to you, we'll spend tomorrow night together.  I'll pick up a chick flick after work and we can have a girls' night!" insisted Anna, trying to make it up to her daughter.
    Nicole watched as her mother walked out the door, as was routine each night.  Hardly was there a night where her mother stayed home.  At times she wondered if it was something she had done that made her mother refuse to spend a single night with her.  Ever since her father died in the 9-11 crash almost a decade ago, her mother hadn't been the same.  About a year after his death, her mom seemed to subsitute the missing part in her life with partying.
    However, Anna did promise she would devote the next night to Nicole. "Hey, it's a start." sighed Nicole.  She figured she could express her opinions to her mother then, and maybe she would realize what she has been doing lately.
    "There's no doubt she loves me," Nicole whispered to herself in an attempt to make herself believe it was true, "she has to, I AM her daughter, that has to mean something.  Tomorrow night we'll see.  All I want is a little bit of her time, that's not too much to ask for..... is it???"
    Nicole realized that the program on the television was a drag and snatched up the remote.  In an attempt to cheer herself up she decided to flip to a music channel.  "Hmm... that punk rock channel, that is uh, 438, right?" she thought to herself.  After pressing the corresponding buttons on the remote, a sweet sound came through the speakers.  Nicole realized that she had actually flipped to the Contemporary Christian Music station.  The song intrigued her with it's meaningful lyrics and punk rock sound.
    She heard, "Another casualty of casual love.  Another soul out of place, a heart that gave up.  Don't give up on love, and throw it all away.  Don't give up on love, and let it fall away.  When did it become so easy to run from your pain?  Don't give up on love.... What should it take, losing everything.  To realize that it might be time to change.  Don't give up on love and throw it all away.  A restless heart won't win, cause you take but do not give.  And you'll keep moving on till you know what love is."
    "Wow, this song's good.  Seems like it's talking about me n' mom.  Who's it by... Hmmm Sanctus Real?  It says the song title's 'Don't Give Up."
    This song kept playing in Nicole's mind long after it had ended.  Suprisingly she found herself wrapped up in this new genre of music.  Never having been to church other than when she was too little to understand, she was shocked to find herself uncontrollably attracted to this swwet sound.  She anxiously scribbled the band's name onto a scrap piece of paper sitting on the coffee table beside her.
    "S-A-N-C-T-U-S  R-E-A-L," she said as she wrote it, "Man, I gotta get the CD with this song on it.  Maybe all their songs are just as good."
    It was nearing eleven o'clock and Nicole had school the next morning.  She pranced to the bathroom, uplifted by this newly found song.  While in the shower, she sang happily, "Don't give up on love and let it fall away.  When did it become so easy to run from your pain??  What should it take losing everything???  To realize that it might be time to change.  A restless heart won't win...."  It seemed that the song had temporarily numbed the pain that Nicole had felt on the inside.
      The next morning was routine.  She woke at six in the morning and staggered into the kitchen and dropped a couple of blueberry waffles into the toaster.  After breakfast, she woke her mother and walked to the bathroom. 
      In the car on the way to school, she told her mom about the song she had listened to the previous night.  However, her mother was on her cell phone... big surprise, right??  Rather than taking the time to listen to her daughter, Anna just nodded hoping Nicole would quiet down so she could hear her friend on the other end of the phone.
    "Mom, can you get me a CD by Sanctus Real.  Please, their songs are awesome!  Ooh, and don't forget the movie for tonight." asked Nicole politely.
    Not looking at her daughter, Anna nodded her head and said, "Sure, sure I can." 
    Nicole suddenly got joyous on the inside thinking that her mom was going to get the Sanctus Real CD for her like she had asked.  Today just seemed to be her day; getting the CD she wanted, getting to watch a new movie that night, and spending the evening with her mom.  Nothing could go wrong.
                                ************
    Nicole was grinning as she pushed open the double doors of her high-school and searched for her mom's car.  She quickly spotted the '95 Jetta amongst the fairly new Jeeps, Nissans, and other cars.  Nicole could see that her mom had her cell phone glued to her ear, even before she got to the car.
    When she climbed in, she anxiously scanned the back seat for her gift.  She frantically read the logos on the multitude of bags and jumped in her seat when she saw a black bag with a picture of CDs on it.  Nicole reached and snatched up the bag and once she had it in her grasp, she seized the plastic case.  Unfortunately, she read in dismay "James Blunt."  Did her mother not hear her this morning??  Certainly she acknowledged her simple request for the CD, didn't she???
    Anna pulled in to the muddy dirt driveway and Nicole quickly stepped out of the car.  As she walked in front of her home, she looked at her one-story, dark brown house set back into the shade of the surrounding trees.  "Man," she thought, "now that I think of it, this place reminds me of Sleepy Hollow."  There were large puddles dotting the driveway and a myriad of brown patches among the green weeds--not much life around this house.
    Nicole waited on the couch for her mom.  It felt like an hour before Anna came through the door.
    "Mom, what movie did you get for us??" asked Nicole, semi happy.
    "Umm.. sorry Nickaboli, but I didn't have time to get to the movie store.  I had to get some new clothes." informed Anna, trying to sound sympathetic."
    A half hour passed by and Nicole was back in the recliner, watching a medical show.  A series of commercials came and she began look around the living room.  As she looked over her shoulder into the kitchen, a faint aroma tickled her nose.  She took another big 'whiff' in an attempt to get a better idea of this mysterious scent and it hit her full blast.  The aerosol scent of her mother's hairspray was in the air.
    "What is wrong with her!?!?  We had this night planned to be together!  Doesn't she care about us?!  I can't believe it!!" said Nicole angrily to herself as she got out of the chair and headed toward her bathroom.  She slammed and locked the door then plopped onto the floor.  She was crying so hard, believing her mother had giben up on her and didn't truly care anymore.  It was obvious now, why else would she not want to stay home to watch a movie with her??  What lame excuse would she create this time!?!?
    Nicole flung open the medicine cabinet and desperately searched for a sedative to numb her pain and calm her resentment for this stranger she called her mother.  Chunking bottles left and right she discovered a full bottle of a crimson red concoction and snatched off the lid; carelessly chugging away her pain.  After a couple of large gulps, she removed the container from her moist lips and realized she had nearly guzzled down half the bottle.  She dropped the bottle into the sink and proceeded to swallowing some ibuprofen and some motrin.  "Why did you have to die dad?  You got to escape the misery I now face.  I hope your happy, you got the easy way out." grumbled Nicole. 
    She looked down at the bathroom counter and gazed at the gleaming blade of the knige lying there, enticing her.  Nicole had placed it there earlier that morning after using it to cut a dangling string off of her shirt.  "I could end my misery and pain.. Right here, right now, it's not like mom would miss me.  She wouldn't even notice I was gone until tomorrow.  I'm invisible to her, she just sees past me.  Her focus is on that flippin' cell phone of hers." Nicole murmured as she reached down to clutch the object that would free her.  Just as she had prepared to grasp the wooden handle, the room began to spin, she felt hot and could hardly breathe.  "HELP!!! HELP!!" she hollered.
    Nicole collapsed, slamming her head into the side of the porcelain bath tub, knocking her unconscious.
    Anna heard her daughter yelling followed by a loud crash.  She dropped her cell phone and sprinted toward the sound.  Once she got to the bathroom, she saw a red liquid on the tiled floor beneath the door and instantaneously grasped the handle, yelling frantically.  The door was locked!
    "NICOLE!!! NICOLE!?!?!? ANSWER ME!!!!" she yelled, and received no answer.  Anna quickly stepped away from the door and ran into it with all of her might.  Her force broke the lock and sent the door swinging around into the wall.  She instantly noticed Nicole lying in a pool of crimson liquid.  Anna went crazy and searched her daughter's limp body for any sign of injury, after finding nothing she came to the conclusion that she had simply passed out.  Anna bolted up in search of Nicole's cell phone, to call 911.  She discovered the knife and the multitude of medicine bottles strewn accross the counter and she thought, "Oh my gosh!!  She tried to commit suicide!  Could it have been my fault?  What have I done to my little girl??  Who have I become??"
    When Nicole came threw.  she saw her mother sobbing next to her and a tall IV stand behind her.  "Mom? Where am I? What happened??" she asked.
    "Hunni, the doctor said that you overdosed on liquid cold medicine, Tylenol, and Excedrin.  I heard you scream and found you unconscious on the bathroom floor. Did you try to..."  Anna paused, not wanting to make the problem worse.
    "Mom, I just didn't think that you loved me... Ever since.." exclaimed Nicole.
    "Of course I love you!!!  Why wouldn't I!?" replied Anna.
    "Well, ever since dad passed away, you haven't realy spent much time with me, let alone talked to me.  I had to cope with the pain alone." answered Nicole, now crying as well.
                          *****************
      After hours of conversation, Nicole and Anna saw eye to eye on the issues they had endured.  Once they were home again, Anna went to retrieve her phone from her bathroom and found it drowned in the toilet, dead.  She smiled and just walked away.
      Later that night the two ladies went to the movie store and agreed on a new release to watch together.  After the movie Nicole once again asker her mother if she would get her the Sanctus Real CD for her.
      "Nic, didn't you see it?  Before I picked you up from school, I sat it on your bed so would find it as soon as you got home." replied Anna.


----***----Feel free to leave me a review or comment, i appreciate all help because i am sure there are many errors.----***----