The Medium

The Medium

The noose was really tight around my neck. I was about to say something, but then I remembered it didn’t matter. I wasn’t as desperate as I thought I’d be. I don’t think I realized what’s really happening just yet. I don’t care what you have to say Ignorance is bliss. I just want to keep on trying to picture what it’s going to be like. I hope you can have sex. That’s something I never really got around to. I am no kind of lady killer. Haha, killer. I turned to the guy next to me, the one who is ready to pull the lever that makes the platform drop. “Are you a killer?” Even though I asked him very casually it looked like I made him mad. The crowd started to chant. They were saying drop him! Drop him! It really annoyed me. I eventually got frustrated and kicked my shoes at them. I yelled at the top of my lugs “Fuck you bastards!” and that’s when I fell.
Instant blackness. Actually it isn’t. I see nothing. You might argue that black is nothing, but our wrong. Black is a color and what I see doesn’t have any colors. It’s just nothing. I got instantly scared. I tried, or at least I think I tried, to look around but there was nothing to look at. Look down and I didn’t see myself, it was like I didn’t exist. Or at least I do but not my body, just my thoughts. I can’t describe what it’s like. There is nothing to see, nothing to touch, nothing to smell, nothing to taste, and nothing to hear, just the thoughts flowing through my brain, all of which were not pleasant. I started to think about God. I started to wonder were he was, or even if he exists. I really hope he does, I can’t spend forever like this. No one could. I keep expecting there to be a light but a night never came. I started counting in my head to keep time. I counted off two days when I got fed up. I wanted to scream “why am I here?!” but I couldn’t talk, I could only think it. Then it came to me, as if I had forgotten it.
The guy just flat out walked into my home. When I herd the noise I didn’t know what it was so I didn’t arm myself or anything. I saw the broken window and a man standing there with my T.V. in his hand, the firs thing that came out of my mouth was “What the fuck are you doing?!” I was a simple, never hurt anyone and I had just been fired from my job. I was wondering what the hell I had done to deserve this. Then, the thing snapped me in half was that he dropped my T.V. He dropped it and broke it. It had taken me forever to save up for that T.V. He turned to run away but I was easily faster than he was. I grabbed the back of his shirt and threw him down on the ground. I was entirely blinded by my rage that I wanted was this guy to feel pain. I stomped on his rib cage, breaking it, so that he’d stay ware he was. I went over to ware he was groaning, he was curled up like one of those bugs you see on the sidewalk. But I had no sympathy; I was truly engulfed in my anger. It filled my body completely. I started to shake, I could feel my body pulsing, and then with all the strength I could gather from my body I threw the T.V. right on the bastards face. The T.V. glass shattered every ware. I knew that he was dead. I just couldn’t bring myself to care. I checked his pulse just to be sure, and sure enough there was none. When I took time to comprehend what had all just happened I started to feel differently. I wasn’t recklessly pissed anymore, I just didn’t care. Then I got irritated that the guy had to go and kill himself by coming in here. I went to get a chair. I set it up next to the guys body and lit up a cigarette. I heard sirens off in the distance. From ware I was sitting I kicked the T.V. off his face, I saw how battered in it was. I looked him the eye and asked “Was it worth it? Just for a T.V.?” his eyes answered me.
“What the fuck did you do to me?” that made me angry again.
“Fuck you! You broke in!” The sirens were getting louder. His eyes answered.
“I just wanted a T.V. and now I’m dead.” I was filled with anger again I stood up and threw a chair at the wall breaking it into 2 pieces yelling at the top of my lungs: I didn’t do anything wrong! A policeman knocked on the door. I took another drag from my cigarette and answered. It didn’t take a long time for them to give me a sentence. Nobody really like what I did. I didn’t really like what I did, but I definitely thought they were being harsh, can’t do anything about it now though.
I’m starting to get scared. I can’t put up with this state of being forever. I just can’t. My thoughts were starting to creep back towards God. I thought about all the hours I had wasted in church. Then, something happened; I was so excited I couldn’t even breathe. All the air around me was getting cooler, and I could feel it. It felt refreshing; I was somewhat comforted that I could feel something. Then there was a smell. I didn’t know what the smell was, but it was bad, not horrible, but not enjoyable by any means. Then everything turned black, it was no longer nothing, it was black. However something in me could not handle all the changes occurring, I just shut down.
I woke up without opening my eyes. I was too afraid. It was cold all around me, and the bad smell was still there. It smelled like down town. After a while of just sitting there I decided I was going to open my eyes. I started slow, not wanting to be overwhelmed by all the light. But the overwhelming light never came. Everything was gray. Then I noticed I was on pavement. I bolted upright immediately. I was in what looked like a parking lot, on the spaces where a lot smaller. Also there weren’t any cars. For just about every spot there was a body, just lying there. The parking lot was very tremendous, and every other space people were waking up. I decided maybe I should stand up. It was nice to have my old body back. It worked as well as when I left it. There was nothing but parked bodies in front of me .so I turned around, and that is when I saw it. It was large, industrious, and spewing out more smog that anything I had ever seen in my lifetime. I knew now why the sky was gray. It was also the only building that I could see, so I started walking towards it. There were about three people in front of and one person behind me once I cleared the lot. Beyond the lot there was grass, but it was yellow, faded and dead, it was uncomfortable to walk on. I didn’t have anything on my feet. The only clothes anybody had on were black gym shorts and plain white T-shirts.
The walk to the building took me about five minutes. I didn’t want to go in just yet. The one person behind me passed me. She seemed in a hurry. I just wanted to take my time. We didn’t say anything when she passed. I realized I hadn’t spoken a single word since I had died. I opened my mouth and said “The Medium.” It was what was written just above the two huge iron doors. It was welded into an iron plate bolted above the doors. I had meant to say: What’s The Medium? But I wasn’t ready for longer sentences. The air outside The Medium was dense with smog. One of the iron doors was left open so I decided I should let myself in. everything inside was dimly light; it was also a rusty brown color. There were pipes and vents all over the place with single marble desk right in the middle of the room. There was also a man right behind the desk, he was wearing a black suit and a yellow tie. I started to walk towards him the ground was metal and freezing. When his name tag came into focus I read Todd. I came up to his desk and didn’t say anything. He looked me over a couple times over and said “Third floor.” He had a really deep voice. I didn’t move right away so he pointed to a set of stairs. I started to walk. There was another man standing by the stairs, blue suit and red tie. This man this man didn’t say anything, he handed me a folded piece of paper and motioned for me to keep walking, so I did. As I was climbing the stairs I opened my piece of paper. In bold black ink it had a number 12 printed on it. I was absolutely bewildered. The only thing I could think to do was to keep walking. I reached a door that had a three painted on it. I opened the door to a very wide room. It was also very loud and full of people. There was a line of people twisting around the whole room. The one seemed to be moving relatively fast so I jumped right in. when I got towards the back of the room I was astonished as to what I saw. There were close to thirty conveyer belts, each heading into tunnels into the wall at the end of the room. Each tunnel had a label right above it. I was able to read one, and when I did was amazed. It said Zoroastrian. I read the one next to it, it said Islam. The one after that said Hindu. I even saw one that said Atheist. Then a really overly large man in a black suit with a black tie grabbed the piece of paper out of my hand. He opened it, saw the big 12, and then said to me in loud voice: “Belt 12.” And pointed towards it, I started walking in the direction. When I got there I didn’t even see who did it but I was shoved onto the belt. Before I went into the abyss of the tunnel in the wall, I read the sign above it. It said “Catholic” I had finally started to feel real relief, even if I was sitting on a conveyer belt in the dark.
When I dropped I landed on a pillowish object. It was a very small room with only one light to light it. There were two doors side by side. One had a gold label. That one was labeled heaven. The other one had a hell spray painted on it with red paint. Both doors were made of wood with metal hinges. My choice of doors was the obvious choice. My heard was beating profusely as I stretched out my hand. I reached and grabbed the door knob. I was eager to put an end to my journey. My heard was beating even faster. But when I turned my wrist, the knob didn’t follow. I tried harder, still nothing. I used both hands with all my strength but the knob didn’t budge. I started to kick the door, but nothing did any good. Frustrated and tired, I sat down against the heaven door and started to cry.