A sweet nightmare of a disaster

I'm lying in a river of deciet
Drownding in my own self defeat
Its like i'm insane
about my own distain
like I'm surrounded by my own pain
its like i've been deprived
my own trust i've denied

i was alone and scared
and the moon with its hollow heart just stared
i'm all alone
nobody cares, i've got no one, all on my own
you took away my fire
and every single desire

Its like i'm the outer shell
of someone who has been so high then fell
my choice has been made
and i'm slowly going to fade
every day is the same
trying to escape pain
what have you got to gain
by playing mind games

i've said goodbye to innocence
welcomed deliverence
you didn't care
when i was there
so stop being so unfair
messing with my emothons
destroying my devotions

i've become so comfortably numb
so under my emotions own thumb
youre searching for attenton
i know the answer but whats the question
in a nightmare of a dream
and only you can hear me screa,

this is such a sweet nightmare of a disaster
i am the creator, but not the master
running away from fear
trying to forget all my tears
to try and make everything so clear

you understand
why trust is to great a demand
and why i cant follow comands
writin this it seems all to real
i think i'm begining to feal

you know my heart is shattered inside
you can see i cant confide
and i dont know how to deciede
i've walked this path a thousand times
i've wandered through this maze in all of my minds
and now i've been left behind

my heart is not yet mended
to many times i have been defended
i need to learn myself that i ca be alone
i donr need you nor him or her or a home