Melancholy

I am melancholy.
I am not happy.
My spirit falls
falls
falls
until I am weeping,
sighing under the weight.
I am sad.
I cannot smile.
It is heavy and painful,
This fog I'm in.

I push and push
but cannot break through.
I fight and twist and
kick and scream -
still there is no relief.

I want to sleep
sleep
sleep
and not wake up.
I want to drown,
drown my sorrow
and my sadness.
I want to fall away
until the bottom swallows me
and I have no hope of resurfacing.

I cannot find joy.
I cannot find peace.
Here I lay, waiting,
waiting,
waiting
for the night to fall
and the darkness to surround me.

And so I lie, eyes closed to the sunlight.
And so I am, no closer to relief.
And so I'll be, melancholy.