The Defeated

Raymond didn’t know how it started.  Some friends at work told him about a website where people can post funny videos they’ve made, like people standing on their trucks while it’s still moving and getting knocked off by a tree branch and the sort.  He came across a video Brady made when she was 13.  He watched her from his computer monitor for a year and a half.  Every week the same time, the same blonde hair, the same pouty lips, the same upturned nose, the ever developing body.  There was never any nudity or anything indecent, but she wanted to be a dancer.  She would practice the dance steps she learned in a class she was taking.  Every week at the same time there was a new video.  She would record them live every Wednesday evening at 8:30.  Raymond would sit alone in his bedroom and wait for her.  He always told his wife that he was balancing the checkbook or paying bills or anything that would give him and Brady half an hour of solidarity.  After the clip ended he was always the first to comment.  She would leave replies.  She thanked him for being such a fan. 
Without warning, just as anything good must inevitably end, the videos stopped coming.  Raymond thought nothing of it at first.  He thought that she had just been busy the first week.  Then another week and still no dancing around in her PJs.  Another week and no more singing along with songs on her computer.  Another week and no more pouty lips.  Raymond wasn’t ready to stop watching.
         
Raymond pulled into his garage after work at the local Coca-Cola bottling plant at 6:30.  It was a Wednesday and it had been 6 weeks since he had last seen anything from Brady.  Every Wednesday his wife Candice made chili dogs for dinner and expected him to watch Wheel of Fortune with her while feasting.  They had gotten married when they were 18 straight out of high school.  It was a teenage romance that they didn’t expect to get stale.  Candice took a job at the Piggly Wiggly and worked most days assisting the pharmacist.  Raymond had long known Candice of going around with the pharmacist behind his back, but he had long since stopped caring.  They had been sleeping in separate bedrooms for nearly a year.  Candice would often mention that they didn’t communicate anymore and that they should start to see a marriage counselor.  Raymond sat in his truck this Wednesday evening; he couldn’t remember a time when they had communicated well.  In high school it was both of their first relationship and they thought it was love.  They thought that sex was real intimacy and that it would always hold them together.  He sat in his truck in the garage and smoked a cigarette.  He stayed outside for twenty minutes just to see if Candice would come out to see what was keeping him.  When he finally came inside Candice had already set up her TV tray and was laughing at something Pat Sajak had just said. 
         She barely looked up from the TV, “Everything’s still on the stove.”
         Raymond didn’t reply.  He continued back into his bedroom to change out of his coveralls and put on lounge clothes.  He walked into the kitchen stepping around spots on the floor he knew would squeak on the cinderblock foundation.  The cheaper homes in this area of Colorado were built on uneven ground and his two bedroom one bath home was no exception.  He smelled natural gas when he walked into the kitchen.  The burners under the pots of chili and hot dogs were still on but the flames had blown out.  He walked to the other side of the kitchen and closed the window.  He got his food and made his way to the living room.  He pulled up his TV tray and sat down next to his wife.
         “You let the burners blow out again.”
         “Well it gets hot in there slaving over that stove, Ray.”
         “I know it does, but I don’t want the damn place to burn down.”
         “I have the window open.  The gas can’t even fill the kitchen.  Maybe if you’d get the AC fixed we wouldn’t have this conversation every night.”
         Raymond ate his hot dogs and was about to get up for another.  He paused, “Do you want to go to a movie or something tonight?  We haven’t been out in a while.”
         “Oh I can’t go tonight.  I’m supposed to go shopping with Sally from work.”
         Shopping with Sally means sex with Dwight the Pharmacist.  She didn’t know that Raymond knew but one supposed shopping night and one chance run-in with Sally led to a night of following Candice, and the truth is never pretty.  Raymond didn’t care anymore… he reminded himself at least thirty times a day.  He washed his plate off and put the dishes into the machine.  He had bought Candice the dishwasher on their fifth wedding anniversary.  They had just moved into the house and had the grand idea of only spending money for improvements.  Five more years down the road and the dishwasher was all they had to show for improvement. 
         Raymond left the kitchen just as Candice was putting on her sweater.  “You sure got on a lot of makeup just to be going out shopping,” he said.
         “Oh, we’re going out to the new mall out in Spring Hill,” she said.  “You know the new outlet mall out there.  Don’t want to look bad or nothing, you know?”
         “For who?”
         “What?”
         “Nothing.  Call me if you’re going to be late.”
         Without another word Candice was out the door.  If Raymond had known that this was going to be the last time he would see her for a long time he might have told her off.  But probably would have just let her go again without saying anything because it was 8:20 and he only had one thing on his mind.
         Raymond went into his bedroom and turned on the computer.  He went straight to Brady’s web page and waited.  He had long since stopped feeling any sort of shame in watching her.  He sat at his computer for half an hour waiting for her.  By 9:00 he came to the conclusion that something happened and Brady wasn’t going to make another video.  He watched his favorite one four times in a row.  Brady was in her bedroom where her computer was.  Her bed was over her left shoulder piled high with pillows.  Behind her right should there was an oval mirror leaning the wall.  It was always at a slight angle pointed toward the ceiling.  Raymond watched her dance to My Baby Does the Hanky Panky in exposing cotton shorts and a tight red halter top.  His eyes followed her bare legs as she moved around the room.  He knew the exact moments to look from the picture back to her mirror for better angles of her figure.  He was transfixed on her image.  She danced for him.  She smiled at him.  She was his for the taking. 
          You can find anything on the internet if you know how to search.  You can even search to learn how to search.  Raymond found her with minimal effort.  He found her in a small town in Nebraska just outside of Omaha.  She was 15 now and about to start high school.  Her father was a captain in the U.S. Air Force stationed at Offutt Air Force Base.  Her mother worked as a secretary at a local law office and was on the Parent Teacher Association in the school district.  They had just had twin boys about a year ago.  He found pictures of the entire family and even printed directions to their double wide trailer home which was currently on the market. 
         Raymond had thought of doing things on the spur of the moment before but had always talked himself out of it.  A few years back he had nearly bought a plane ticket to New York City but he could never justify the expenses.  In fact the closest he had ever come to traveling anywhere was visiting travel agency websites.  This time he wouldn’t let himself rationalize his way out of spontaneity. 
         Raymond packed only a few sets of clothes.  He didn’t know how long he would be gone, but he decided he would need to buy new attire if he was going to impress anyone.  Raymond knew Candice wouldn’t notice he was gone until the next evening when he would normally come home from work.  His truck was always parked in the garage which she never checked, just as she never went near his bedroom.  Raymond is usually out of the house before she ever wakes up in the morning so Candice wouldn’t notice anything until she sat down to Thursday night  Hamburger Helper and Wheel of Fortune.  Raymond laughed at the idea of Candice cursing his name and throwing a fit over uneaten potatoes stroganoff.  He laughed all the way to the ATM.
                                                 
                                                           
Brady walked into her house early in the summer afternoon.  A gust of wind slammed the door shut for her.
“Don’t let the door slam.”  Her father said.  He looked up at her from the kitchen table.  He was dressed in his full Air Force blue uniform.
Brady went into the kitchen and took a soda from the refrigerator.  “What are you doing home so early?” She said.  “Why are you dressed up?”
“I’m supposed to be showing the house today,” he said.  “And don’t worry about my clothes.  Why are you dressed like that?”
Brady was wearing a t-shirt with the schools colors of maroon and white.  Her sleeves were rolled up over her shoulders and she had tied a knot with the bottom half exposing her midsection.  She had on small black shorts that didn’t extend any lower than the buttock.  Large white letters spelled out the word ‘CHEER’ across her backside.
“Ugh Daddy, this is what we wear at practice.  It’s soo hot out there.”  She said.  “And we’re like learning this new cheer where Jessica and me are like in the front and we—.”
“Okay okay, you can tell me and your mother about it later.  Just go get changed.  I don’t want every guy in the neighborhood looking at your backside.  You don’t want to give the wrong impression.  And straighten up your room a little bit.  This guy is supposed to be here in about twenty minutes and I don’t want him seeing clothes thrown around everywhere.”
Brady skipped off to her bedroom, her flip-flops popping the bottoms of her feet with every step.  She closed her door behind her immediately sat down on a vent on the floor from the central cooling which ran under the house  She looked at herself in the mirror next to her wall holding her hair up on her head and sucking in her cheeks, posing like a model. 
She had just thrown her clothes into the hamper when there was a knock on the door.  She kept putting clothes away and there was another knock.
“Brady, get the door!” Her dad yelled through the wall adjacent to her closet.
She opened the front door still not having changed clothes.  Se looked at the man standing on the other side of the screen door.  He had a face wide grin and was wearing a full tan suit.
“Are you here to see the house?” Brady asked. 
“Yes I am,” Raymond said.  “I’m Raymond Sanders.  I’m supposed to meet… well I guess it was your father that I spoke on the phone with.  What’s your name?
“I’m Brady.  I think my dad’s in the restroom.  You can come in and sit down though.”  Brady unlatched the screen door and shook hands with Raymond when he extended his hand to her. 
Raymond followed her to a stool at the kitchen counter. 
“Do you want anything to drink?”  Brady asked.
“Just some water would be great,” Raymond said.  He forced himself to stop grinning and tried to keep a straight face.  He followed her with his eyes as Brady filled a glass with water and brought it back to him. 
“Thanks a lot,” he said.  “I couldn’t help but notice your shorts.  So do you cheer or what?”
“Yeah,” she said.  “I cheer for the high school.  I just got back from practice.  Oh my God it’s seriously hot outside.  How can you stand to wear that suit?”
Raymond was about to say more when he felt a hand on his shoulder.
“Howdy.  You must be Raymond,” Brady’s father said.  “I’m Travis Orms.  We spoke on the phone.”
“Yes sir I am.”  Raymond said standing up from his seat.  He turned to shake the man’s hand and was surprised to see that Brady’s father looked the same age as he was.  Raymond thought it was and overly aggressive handshake and wondered if Travis had seen him watching Brady.
“I see you’ve met my daughter.  She’s about to go put on more clothes,” Travis said.  “Let me show you around the house.” 
They walked around the living room and Raymond began to wonder if his wife had somehow secretly decorated the place.  All of the artwork hanging on the walls were amateur paintings of wilderness settings.  They were almost identical to the ones his mother-in-law forced on him as wedding gifts.  They also had the same exact console TV that he had back in Colorado.  The ancient kind with the wood casing that sat on a swivel.  Raymond didn’t care anything about the square footage numbers Brady’s father was reciting, but he smiled and nodded politely as Travis delivered his seemingly inexperienced sales pitch.  Raymond had always been polite.  It was one of his better qualities.  He thought that politeness and charm could easily get him through most situations.  Once he got married he realized he couldn’t be further from the truth.  Still, he was good at being polite. 
Brady’s father walked Raymond all around the house except for the room he was there to see.
“Well that’s about everything.  Do you have any questions about the place?”  Travis asked.
“Why are you moving?”
“We have a couple of one year olds now.  My wife has them at the day care now, but she thinks we need a bigger place out in the suburbs.”
“We didn’t go into one of the bedrooms.”
“That’s Brady’s room.  It’s a little bit of a mess right now.  We can still take a look if you’d like to.”
“No that’s alright.  I’m sure I’ll be back around to see it later on.”
“Well whenever you want to come by again, just call either me or my wife.  You have both of the numbers right?”
“Yes I do.  And you’ll definitely be hearing from me.”  They shook hands again and Raymond left. 
A few days later Raymond by chance saw Brady and a few of her friends at the mall.  He approached them when they were ordering food at a Chick-fil-A.  He was pleased to see that she instantly recognized him.
“Hey, you’re that guy who’s buying our house right?”  She turned and mouthed to her friends to go sit somewhere else.
“Well I’m not buying the house yet, but yeah.”  Raymond smiled when Brady’s friends walked off.  “Yeah, I just saw you and I thought I’d stop by to say hi.”
“Oh, okay…”
“Uh I thought maybe you could tell me more about the house.”
“Like what?”
“I don’t know.  Anything.  You’ve lived there a while.  You should have some stories huh?”
“Well I have like three cats buried in the back yard.”
“Yeah, stuff like that.  That’s inside information that your dad skipped over.  Why don’t you come shop with me, tell me more.”
Raymond spent close to $400 dollars on Brady that night which was about an eighth of the total amount of money he had.  There were a couple of chance meetings like this in the next week; once at a skating rink where Raymond was checking out the local scenery, and another at the movie theater where he happened to be seeing the same movie as Brady. 
In the next few weeks Raymond found himself a fixture in Brady’s daily life.  He would pick her up from high school and take her to the mall, buying her whatever she wanted.  He would take her out to wherever she wanted to eat or to any movie she wanted to see.  He sometimes spent hundreds of dollars in a single day.
Brady stayed over at Raymond’s basement apartment one Friday night.  She had told her parents she was staying over at a friend’s house.  Her parents were too busy with the twins to check up on her, but Brady constantly monitored her cell phone throughout the evening.
“Do you have any alcohol?”  Brady asked.  She was sitting on a brown mustard couch Raymond’s landlord had furnished.  She had her feet propped up on the coffee table and thumbed the TV remote quickly cycling through the channels.  “Do you get MTV?”
“Uh, I don’t know,” Raymond was busy in his small kitchen, rifling through his refrigerator.  “All I have is a few beers.”
“That’s fine.”
“You drink beer?”  Raymond opened two bottles and handed one to Brady.  He sat down next to her on the sofa just as she settled on a station.  She took a couple of deep gulps from the bottle.  “What are you watching?”
“Real World New Orleans.”  She pointed at the screen, “That’s Melissa.  She’s completely a slut.  She has really nice boobs though.  I think I want to get mine done.”
“I think you’re beautiful.”
“Aw, that’s so sweet.  But look she’s about to have sex with David.  She’s already had sex with like everyone in the house.”
“What?  Should you be watching this?  Do a lot of people watch this?  It seems a little graphic for cable.”
“Ugh, you sound like my dad.  Where’s your restroom?”
“It’s in the back.  Through the bedroom.”
Brady stood up and left the room.  Raymond changed the channel once he heard the bathroom door close and clank of the toilet seat hitting the ceramic bowl.  He stopped on the movie The Man Who Shot Liberty Valence.  He hated when he was younger when his dad made him watch all of the old westerns.  He thought now that they were some pretty good movies.
“What are you watching?”  Brady walked up behind the couch.  Her eyebrows were raised, wrinkling her forehead which gave her a bewildered look.
“This is a classic.  It has The Duke.”
“It’s lame.  Let’s turn it back”
“Sit down.  You’ll enjoy it.”
“Oh my God.  You’re like the lamest guy that’s come out here yet.”
“What does that mean?”  Raymond stood up.
“Don’t play stupid.  We both know that you saw me on the computer and came down here to fuck me.”
Now Raymond had the bewildered look on his face.
“You’re not the first guy to spend all your money on me just to fuck me then go back home to you wife.  You sure are taking the longest time though.  Most guys spend their money then fuck me in like the first couple of days.  You’ve been here like three weeks.  You even have a shitty apartment here.
“You tramp.”
“Ugh, what a fucking waste of time.  At least I got some nice things.  Tell your wife I said hi.”  Brady grabbed her purse and walked out.
“Piece of shit, Nebraska.”

         In the next couple of days Raymond collected what little money he had left.  He sold all of the furniture in the apartment without telling his land lord and was able to put together just under a thousand dollars.  He knew he wouldn’t be able to go back to Colorado.  He couldn’t face chili dogs and Wheel of Fortune again.  Candice was probably happier without him anyway.  He pulled his truck into a gas station just outside of Omaha.  Inside the store he saw a rack of state maps and atlases.  He purchased one with a picture of the U.S. and spread it out on the hood of his truck.  He pulled a penny out of his pocket and told himself, “wherever it lands.  That’s where I land.”  He flipped the coin and it landed squarely on the centennial state.  “Forget it.  I’m just going to head to New York City.  I’ve always wanted to go there.  It’ll be just like Midnight Cowboy.”  He practiced his best Jon Voight impression in his rear view mirror.  “I tell you the truth.  I ain’t a for real cowboy, but I am one hell of a stud.”   
He took the smile off his face.  He figured he might need it some time later on.  He stepped back into his truck aimed towards the Rocky Mountains.