The Changeling

The Changeling


Noll was alone because it was his birthday.  He took a deep breath and one last look at the gulf waters gently lapping the sandy shore before he turned and began to walk back to the car.  He put his hands in his jacket pockets, bracing himself against the cold wind he’d ignored only moments before.  Not many people were on the beach on this rare, chilly Florida day.  It was beginning to drizzle.

And besides, it was Christmas.

When Noll turned the key to the ignition, he felt the weight of anxiety lift from his shoulders.  He felt the sobs coming on and decided to let them.  He hugged the steering wheel, the tears flowing down his cheeks like the raindrops on the windshield, like dew on a hibiscus leaf.  His sister did not show up, just as she’d promised.  He really was free.  He could go home. He wouldn’t have to say anything to Tina: she would know by the look on his face that everything was all right.  It would be a good Christmas.

But on the way home, he turned out of the way.  Before he even knew what he really intended, he turned onto Sunset Point Road.  He had an insuppressible urge to visit his sister, to make sure it was no fluke.  To make sure he was really free.

******

He hadn’t seen Noelle for three years until last Christmas Day, their joint birthday.  He’d been standing on the beach for only a few minutes into his customary two hours when he saw the figure in the black coat walking towards him, walking just beyond the reaching fingers of the Gulf waves.  He knew it was her before he could even make out her face, and he froze in fear.  Fear and love.

She was lazily sauntering his way, her sandals in her hand, her feet bare on the chilly sand.  She looked up at him and half-smiled.  Noll never ceased to be amazed at the perfect blend of features she carried from their Irish mother and Greek father, her porcelain white skin contrasting beautifully with her raven black hair and dancing brown eyes.  She inherited all the grace, Noll all the glum.  His own gloomy eyes rested under jutting brows and over bags, and his round cheeks made him look younger then his twenty-two years.

She stopped about twenty feet away.  Her smile was gone.  Noll wondered what was wrong.  On all their previous Christmas meetings, she had been full of glee.  The Christmas before he married Tina – the last time he saw his sister – she was positively gleaming with delight.

“What’s wrong, Noelle?” Noll asked.  He had promised himself and others to stay silent, should he ever see her again.  He had promised to ignore her.  But those resolutions vanished like the foam on the waves now that she stood before him.

Noelle was silent.  A breeze blew some strands of her hair across her face.  She did not reach up to move them back.

“You said we would see one another only one more time,” continued Noll, “so is this it?  Is this the last time?  Why now?”

In an instant, in less than a blink of an eye, Noelle was within inches of Noll, and she leaned forward to whisper in his ear.  This was always the way she came to him, yet Noll was always startled when she did.

“Don’t be afraid,” she whispered.  “You should know by now not to be afraid.”

“I am afraid,” Noll whispered back, staring straight ahead, not daring to look at her eyes.

“Why?”

“Because you are not real, and the fact that you are here means I am still sick.”

Noelle lowered her head for a moment.  She reached up to touch his shoulder, then thought better of it.  Noll heard her sigh.  It was like the sound of the ocean in a seashell.

“Noll,” she whispered, “I know you think you are sick, because of me.  I know that is what others think.  That’s why I never intended to come back until…until you were nearly ready to join me.  I never meant to see you so soon.”

“Then why now?” demanded Noll, now a little angry.  He risked a glance at his sister, and immediately wished he hadn’t.  She still wore those little gold earrings he had given her on a Christmas Day when he was twelve years old and she should have been.  He stared straight ahead again, choking down a sob.

“Because of Tina and the baby, Noll.  Something is wrong.  The baby’s cord is tied in a knot and she is getting weaker.  She needs to go to the hospital right away.”

The blood drained from Noll’s face and he felt dizzy.  “You are only parroting my own fears back to me.  This proves you are not real!”

“Believe what you want, but take Tina to the hospital today, Noll.”

“And then you will leave me alone?”

“I promise you will never see me again in your life.  I promise you will be free.”

Noll shook his head and stared out into the Gulf of Mexico.  A single white sail was crossing the horizon.

Noelle edged closer to Noll’s ear.  Ever so softly she whispered, “I have never been able to give you a birthday present before.  Let me now.  Let me give you the life of your daughter.”

Noll knew he would obey, despite the repercussions, despite the fact that it would mean a return to treatment.  Despite what it would do to his marriage.

“A girl is it?” he asked.  “I’m not going to name her Noelle.”

“See that you don’t,” said his sister with a smile.  And she was gone.  Noll looked back to where the waters met the sky.  The sailboat had drifted out of view.

He went home.

Noll was right to be afraid of Tina’s reaction.  As soon as he walked in the door, she took one look at his face and said, “You saw her, didn’t you?  Oh Noll, why do you have to go to that beach every Christmas?  It is like you are asking to get sick again.”

“She told me this was the last time,” he said.

“She told you that three years ago!”  Tina managed to lift herself out of her chair with difficulty, the eight months of baby making it difficult for her to maneuver.

“Three years ago she said she’d see me once more while I live.  This was it.  She had something important to tell me.”

Tina turned to walk into the kitchen.  Noll marveled at how she didn’t even look pregnant from behind.  All the ladies in the Lamaze class envied her.

“I don’t want to hear it,” she said as she strode away.

“It’s about the baby,” said Noll.

Tina stopped in her tracks.  Her hands reflexively went to her abdomen, caressing it.

Noll swallowed hard.  “Noelle said that the baby’s cord is tied in a knot, and that she is in danger.  A girl, she said.”

Tina turned to face him, a tear streaming down her cheek.  “Oh Noll, how could you?”

“I know, Tina, I know.  As soon as the doctor tells us everything is fine, I’ll get back in therapy and put myself under Dr. Peltzer’s care.  I promise.  I’ll stay in treatment as long as it takes, and take whatever they tell me to.  But first we are going to the hospital.  We are going right now.”

“Noll, listen to yourself.  That’s the same thing that happened to your sister.  This is all coming from your mind.”

“Not exactly,” Noll said.  “Noelle’s cord was wrapped around her neck.  But it doesn’t matter if this is an invention of my schizophrenia-infected mind or not.  We’re going to the hospital.”

Tina was cold and silent, her jaw set and face grave when they went to the emergency room.  She would not speak to the nurse or the physician, so it was up to Noll to explain that Tina had not felt the baby move in a long time and was in shock.  Tina only glared at him, not trusting, not daring to fail to trust him.

Her icy visage only melted when the ultrasound technician rushed from the room to get a Doctor.  He turned to them  and said, “We have to deliver this baby now.  We may be just in time.  The cord is wrapped around itself, in a knot.  The baby is not getting enough blood and barely enough oxygen.  It’s a wonder you got here when you did.”

The Doctor put his hand on Tina’s shoulder.  “You have your instincts to thank, young lady.”

Tina grabbed Noll’s hand and cried.  She pleaded with him to stay by her.  And he did, all through the brief prep and all through the frantic early delivery.  It was a girl, blue and lifeless.  Tina was sedated, but she heard Noll screaming at the child to breathe.

******

Noll shook the painful memories of last Christmas from his mind as he turned into Abbey Groves to visit his sister.  He drove past the copse of Sycamores to the giant oak where Noelle rested since their very first birthday. 

Noll stopped the car suddenly.  Someone was there.

But it was not Noelle.  It was the pixie figure of his wife, Tina, laying purple tulips at the grave.  And up crawled their little one-year-old, Kristina, reaching for the flowers.  Tina took their daughters hand and guided it to touch the headstone, whispering to the little girl all the while.

A gentle breeze rustled through the oak leaves.

Noll decided not to interrupt.  He turned the car around and headed home.  He had a birthday party to get ready for his daughter.  And he was free.

They all were.



Word Count: 1,676