This is a humorous account of something that happened to me growing up. |
It was a beautiful summer day, and naturally I was inside playing video games. My mom and my bratty older sister Becky (older by only 2 years though) were somewhere on the other side of the house. Everything was going well in the game until the character I was playing as was stepped on by some sort of monster. "S--t!" I yelled out in anger. All of a sudden behind me I heard my mom ask, "What did you just say young man?" "Uh, Nothing mom! i'm just over here mumbling to myself!" i said, hoping she would just think it was cute and walk away. But no, being that she was my mom she was much too smart to fall for my quick wit. "I don't think so! come here right now" she said. "Words like that are not allowed in this house," my mom stated as she dragged me to the bathroom. She grabbed a brand new bar of yellow dial soap and began unwrapping it, as she angrily tapped one of her bare feet on the bathroom tiles. "This is what happens when you use dirty language," my mom said as she shoved the bar of soap in my mouth. At first it wasn't so bad, really it wasn't...until i started to move my tounge over the fresh bar of soap. the filthy, well, not so filthy foam ozzed from the bar to my tounge. i could feel the nasty goop begin to move to the back of my throat. as i looked up at my mom i noticed she was smiling down at me. "You better get used to that soap because it's going to be in your mouth for a very long time," mom said as she walked out of the bathroom. I stood there feeling very bored, occasionaly checking the pockets of my shorts for any loose change or gum that i would use to get the soap taste out of my mouth after my punishment was finished. After about a minute, my bratty older sister Becky walked into the room. "You look like a total loser!," she exclaimed in her usual snobby tone of voice. "You're completely pathetic," she continued. After several minutes, mom came back into the bathroom and said, "it's a beautiful day, you two should be outside." For a moment, i became real hopeful, but then my mom said, "You can go outside but you'll still have to keep the bar of soap in your mouth while you're out there, now go," she ordered. My sister and I put on our cheap K-mart flip flops, her pair being pink and my pair being yellow, and we walked outside. My sister Becky and I walked down the front stairs of our porch, our flip flops making their usual loud sound. Suddenly we both caught sight of Becky's friends walking down the other side of the street. Under normal circumstances, this wouldnt be a big deal, but Kelly Smith was with them. She was a girl who I had a huge crush on. As soon as I saw them I ran to the back of our house. There was no way that I was going to let her see me with a bar of soap in my mouth! As I hid behind a huge tree in our backyard, I heard Becky talking to her friends. What made matters worse was the fact that I heard them coming closer and closer to the backyard. I was horrified! Then before I knew it, Kelly Smith was standing right next to me! "Hey, you got soap in your mouth, huh? I hate when i get punished like that" I couldnt believe it! Kelly Smith got soap in her mouth too! All I could do was nod my head in agreement. "The worst part is afterwards when theres tiny bits of soap stuck in my teeth," she continued. Kelly and I finally had something in common! Then she said, "Hey look, we're wearing the same flip flops!" She was right, we were both wearing yellow flip flops! There was something else we had in common. Suddenly I heard my mom calling my voice from the back door. I went into the house where mom promptly took the bar of soap out of my mouth. "I think you've learned your lesson," she said. It was at that moment that I decided to tell her the truth. "Mom," I said. "Becky swears all the time, thats where I learned all those words!" My mom was furious. Within a minute, my sister was in the house with a back of soap in her mouth. It was great to see bratty Becky finally get in trouble! Too bad there was yucky bits of soap still stuck in my teeth. |