Shackles

“I wish you get the best in your life.”

These were my parting words to him, to the one I had thought I had loved. The one without whom, I was once sure, I will not be able to live. These were probably the most unselfish words I had told him ever since I had known him.

I had known him for the past eight years before this. The first two years had been full of romance. Childish, of course, as we were just out of school. The next two years, full of apprehension. Whether we were right for each other; whether we would make it, By the fifth year, it was clear that we were never meant to be. At the beginning of the sixth year, we parted ways and agreed on staying friends. By that time, I had relocated to the other end of the city and had a job. He, too, had a job but was obsessed with the thought that I had ruined him forever.

He called me regularly with the stories of the many girls who were apparently falling all over him and about him flirting with all of them. On rare occasions, he surprised me by meeting me outside my office and traveling with me on the chartered bus all the way to my place and then back to his place, covering almost the entire length of the city twice.

Friends told me that I was leading him on, but I never had the heart to tell him off. Moreover, his presence was a reassurance to me and mine to him. One day, he ended these pleasant trips by accusing me of having an affair with a married friend. He had hurt me and, may be, I, too, had hurt him unknowingly. After this whenever he turned up outside my office, it was not a pleasant surprise. I started avoiding him. However, his phone calls continued. That is, till the day I gave him the big news.

It had been three months since he had called. I had something important to tell him. I knew he would sense the urgency and call. And he did.

“And who are you getting engaged to?” he asked, sounding angry and a bit hurt.

“A friend from school” I informed.

He knew the reply but still asked “And you think you will be happier with him than with me?”

“Are these the wishes that you want me to start my new life with?” I asked.

He softened immediately and sounded a bit sad when he said “No, of course not. I wish you happiness through out your life.”

I was deeply touched and could only say “Thanks.”

“And one more thing” He said.

“Yes?” I asked.

“I will never call you again.” He informed.

“I know.” I replied, “I wish you get the best in your life.”

It has been four years now and I have never heard from him. I know I never will. He has always been true to his words. I have now been married to a wonderful man for the past three years. I have found my true love. I hope he has found his too.

At times I wonder whether I hurt him when I told him about my engagement, whether I should have hidden the fact and simply stopped taking his calls. Would it have hurt him less? But I know I had to do this. Simply to set him free. It was not love that was holding us together any more. Both of us deserved to be free. Both of us deserved to go on with our lives. The shackles needed to be broken.

A lot of people have told me that your childish heartaches make you laugh once you grow up. I do not agree. Whenever I think of him, I smile.