The Mime's Box

         John always kept his window down while driving to work everyday, even in the middle of winter. No, he is not superman and in fact freezes his ass off when he does so at Seven o’clock in the morning in the middle of December. So why might a young man of 25 feel the need to roll down the window? Good thought, but no, John is not a smoker. In fact, John has a set schedule of hitting the gym 5 days a week for a minimum of 2 hours. The reason for keeping his window down is simple. You see, rules of the road do not apply to John, because he is special. However, nobody else on the road knows this, so when he cuts other people off, turns without signaling, tailgates, speeds all in the name of getting to work on time, he can easily anticipate the honking that will follow his actions and acknowledge their honks with his finger out the window. 

         John works in downtown Salt Lake City. The building he works in does not have adequate parking, so John must rush to work to get a spot. If he fails to beat the other co-workers who also race John to work, he is forced to park down the street in a paid parking garage. This means walking a block to the building, plus an $8.00 day charge for parking. John could pay $20 bucks for a monthly parking pass; however that would be like throwing in the towel and admitting defeat to his co-workers. John is above that and it is a shame that others do not see this.

         Today, John left his house a minute late and that cost him a parking spot at his job. What made it worse was the fact that the parking garage a block down the road was full today as well because of an outdoor convention going on. John had no other choice but to park three blocks down in an area he was not as familiar with. It seemed kind of dark. Not that the light from the sun was shining any different than normal. It was dark in the sense that there seemed to be a higher presence of evil in the area. It looked desolate. Most people in their right minds avoided the place. Garbage was littered about the streets. The buildings and the surroundings looked neglected. There was no parking attendant on duty, which worried John as he was concerned about his Audi TT being broke into. Being he had no other choice, he pushed a button for a parking ticket and parked his car. The parking lot was empty.

         To say that John was startled when someone was standing next to his car as he was getting out and grabbing his bags would be an understatement. John crapped his pants, not in the literal sense of course, but damn near close enough. In fact, it’s safe to say he sharted, which means a loud fart followed by some skid marks. John grabbed his chest to keep his heart from jumping out of him. The man, or should I say clown standing in front of him with big yellow eyes smiled at John, without apologizing for the scare, but did in fact pick John’s bags up for him, which John kind of threw in the air in his sudden panic. John reached for the bags in the clown’s hand.

“I don’t know whether to thank you or punch your big red nose for scaring the hell out of me. But I’m in a hurry and don’t have time for either. Are you the parking attendant?”

There was no reply. The clown just looked at him and smiled.

“Ok, enough time wasted on you. Don’t touch my car.” With that John began to briskly walk away, after first setting the alarm on his car.

After walking a good safe distance away, he turned around to see what the crazy looking clown was doing. To his amazement, the clown was gone. It was nowhere to be seen, yet there was nowhere the clown could have gone in the garage as their only seemed to be one exit.

“That’s odd,” He said to himself and began to turn around to keep on walking.

No sooner than he turned around, he found himself jumping and dropping his bags once again. The crazy clown was standing about a foot in front of him.

“What the hell’s your problem pal? Your clown routine sucks. Get a real job!” John tried to act like he was not afraid of the clown, even though his hands where now trembling uncontrollably with fear. There was no way the clown could have raced in front of him that quick and quietly. He picked his own bags up this time and continued walking.

He was exiting the garage now and entered a back ally that would lead to Main Street. He could see a crowd of people walking on Main St. which gave him a little comfort. He picked up his pace to try and get their as quick as possible. He was almost their when the clown suddenly walked out from behind a garbage can up in front of him. John stopped in his tracks. He felt the urge to yell for help, but out of pride, he kept his lips sealed. The clown began to gesture him to come closer to look at something. The clown acted like he was putting up some type of wall. Apparently he was not a clown after all, but rather a mime. Hell, with his funny clothes and the paint on his face, he guessed he was a little of both. The clown was pointing at John and motioning him to step in the imaginary box that he just made in thin air. Feeling like the clown might leave him alone if he did as he asked; John played along with the clown’s game and stepped into the imaginary box that the clown was building.

         “If I step in this box with you, will you leave me alone?” John asked.

         The clown had dark yellow eyes and he looked rather hideous up close. Something just did not seem right about the guy. The clown shook his head yes and smiled at him. The clown’s teeth seemed to have blood stains on them when he smiled. After John stepped in the area of the invisible box, the clown stepped out and held up his hand for John to wait one more second. The clown then reached to the side and grabbed another imaginary wall for the box and put it in place. After staring at John’s feet for a moment, the clown slowly looked up at John’s face. His eyes were no longer yellow, but red. The clown pressed his hands around the box, acting like a true mime, making it seem like there really was a box around John. The clown then reached in his pocket as if he had a surprise for John for playing along with his game. The clown slowly pulled his hand out of the pocket with the finger, the same finger John used in his daily life on his way to work.

         “Yeah…nice trick! Now piss off! I’m thru playing your games.” John turned around and took a step towards the street but was surprised when he bumped into some type of wall. There was nothing he could see blocking his way. He could see the people on the street just fine. Thinking it was his imagination, he proceeded to try walking again. And again he found his nose smashing into an invisible wall. He turned around to try and go the other way and again, a wall. He was closed in with no way out. The clown was smiling at John as he walked backwards slowly to the parking garage.

         “Get me out of here,” John yelled. The clown just kept smiling and walking backwards until he disappeared in the shadows of the garage. Nobody on the street even noticed John standing there. Nobody could hear him. They just kept walking, leaving John to rot in an invisible mime’s box.