The Brilliance of Permanent Bliss

"Stephanie Nichole Dean," he called out. I stepped forward with confidence in an attempt to hide my anxiety. He checked the book, smiled at me warmly and ushered me through the gate. I walked through and as soon as I did, a curly blond haired angel ran to me.

"Mama!" she called out. I picked her up and held her tight against me.

"My sweet girl," I said kissing her forehead. "I missed you."

"I missed you too, Mama," she said giggling.

A few extra steps behind her there stood a man I had known my entire life. "Hi, Dad," I said my eyes filling with tears. It had been too long.

"Hi honey," he smiled embracing me.

The three of us walked along, Ashley chattering away about the birds overhead. "Mama! You have to see what me and Grandpa found!" she suddenly exclaimed.

"I'd love to," I said smiling at Dad.

She ran ahead and we jogged behind to keep up with her small feet. When we caught up to her, she had stopped at a vine covered gate. The wooden walls on either side of it were too high to see over so we entered through to solve the mystery of what had gotten my little girl so enthralled.

As we walked through the morning glories, I caught my breath. It was exquisite. Before us was a magnificent garden that housed roses, peonies, tulips, and carnations throughout. In the midst of the flowers, you could find patches of strawberries, vines that held concord grapes, and bushes growing luscious berries of all types.

"Look Dad, blackberries- your favorite," I exclaimed upon noticing the plump ripe fruit.

"Remember when we used to go blackberry picking?" he asked.

"Of course I do! It’s one of my favorite childhood memories except for that year that you got bitten by that tick and ended up in the hospital.”

"Yeah, that was a rough year. As soon as I got out of the hospital, you went in to have your appendix removed.”

"Yes, I remember and you had to end up carrying me because I couldn't walk for the pain.”

“Being eleven, you thought you were too old for that.”

"Mama, what's an appendix?" Ashley asked.

I looked to Dad for an answer to explain something I never really knew much about.
He shrugged.

"It's a part of your body inside that's an organ and when it starts hurting really bad, they take it out," I answered.

"Owie," she said sympathetically. "Where's your appendix at?"

I pointed to the right side of the abdomen where sixteen years later, I still held a scar. She leaned forward and kissed where I had pointed. “There, Mama. All better?”

I grinned, “Yep. All better.”

We strolled through the garden taking time to smell each flower and listen to the birds sing joyously overhead. After awhile, Dad said, “Well ladies, I think I will go and do some fishing and leave you to some girl talk.”

Ashley giggled and I smiled, “We’ll catch up with you in awhile, okay?”

“You bet,” he grinned and waved at us.

“Mama, look!” Ashley said. I ran over to where she was standing.

She pointed up to the jade foliage on the deep chestnut colored trunk. Making their home and twittering their praises were hundreds of breathtaking butterflies with wings of silk. The colors were bounteous and unlike any I had ever seen. You learn of reds, yellows, and blues in school but nothing could prepare you for the colors you can see in their natural habitat of nature.

I caught my breath and whispered softly, “Gorgeous.” Within a few minutes, two amethyst and emerald butterflies rested on each of Ashley’s shoulders. “Baby, don’t move. They might fly away.”

“No they won’t, Mama. They love me,” she said as she began walking. As proof, the butterflies remained comfortably seated for a ride.

I smiled to myself at my daughter’s relentless intuition and plucked a ripe strawberry from its stem in the patch. The sweet aroma tickled my senses before it even reached my taste buds. I put the strawberry to my lips and allowed my teeth to sink in. The succulence of the juices and the ripeness of the fruit filled my soul and entire aura surrounding me. We walked about enjoying the fruits and vegetables that lay before us as our own private picnic. As we sat enjoying each taste, a small white rabbit hopped up to Ashley and stopped. She gingerly extended her fingers and it nuzzled in next to her. I watched in amazement as she made a new friend. Satisfied and full, I lay with my daughter in the lush, cotton soft grass, mesmerized by the beauty above us. I told her stories of my childhood, of my pregnancy with her, and of fairies and unicorns. Cuddling up next to me with the bunny laying beside her and her head on my chest, she fell asleep and I closed my eyes as well.

“Are you going to sleep all day?” I heard a voice chuckle. I opened my eyes and looked up at my father who was standing over me. It was the same words I had heard many times as a teenager.

I glanced over and Ashley was waking up rubbing her eyes. “I must’ve dozed off. It’s so peaceful in here.”

“Yes it is. Come on, you’ve only begun to explore the utopia,” he said, his brown eyes twinkling.

I smoothed Ashley’s lacy pink and white dress and took her hand, “Let’s go explore.”

“Yippee! I’m going to be an explorer!” she said.

We strolled out of the flourishing garden through the gate. The small white bunny that took a liking to Ashley hopped through the gate and followed us until she picked him up and carried him as if he were her own baby.

“What are you going to name him?” I asked her as she stroked his ears.

“His name is Adam,” she said.

Dad and I laughed, “That’s a pretty grown up name for a little bunny.”

She shrugged. “That’s just his name.”

“Okay,” I said, “Adam it is.”

The three of us strolled along the street paved in gold and for a moment I felt as though I was Dorothy on my way to Oz. But instead of yellow bricks, the street gleamed and glistened in the bright sunlight with such radiance you felt as if you were in the midst of something magical.

Dad looked down at Ashley, “Ashley, do you want to show your mom the Kingdom for Animals?”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah! Adam can meet some new friends! And Mommy will love it because it’s so beautiful.”

Turning off the gold street, we entered the large cherry wood gates. Above the gates, in sparkling letters read, “Kingdom for Animals.” As the gate latched behind us, I glanced around at the Kingdom. It was indeed beautiful with the large trees and bright flowers but aside from Adam, I saw no animals.

As though he read my thoughts, my dad whispered, “Just wait.”

We walked down the flourishing, leafy pathway into something incredible. It was more than the songs of the winged creatures overhead, more than the white bunny cradled in Ashley’s arms; it was the sight of a mighty lion lying peacefully in the grass up ahead. People walked by his Majesty, small woodland creatures climbed over him; for a moment I thought maybe he was a mirage. As we got closer, I could see he was far too magnificent to not be real.

“His name is Neveah,” Ashley told me as she went over to pet him.

“He’s perfect,” I said softly. I had always dreamed of petting a lion since I was just a little girl Ashley’s age at the City Zoo. I couldn’t believe this was happening. It was almost too good to be true. I had never found this utopia before today and began to fear that it was only a dream. I sent a silent prayer up to God that if I was indeed dreaming, I didn’t want to wake up from it yet.

We received strokes of love and appreciation from Neveah’s sandpaper tongue before we decided to venture on. No matter which way we turned, there was something amazing to experience. I looked to the left and watched orangutans swinging from the trees, teasing and playing with one another. When I turned to my right, I laughed with Ashley at the sight of roly-poly midnight cubs wrestling in the grass. There were wide eyed horses sipping water from a pond and cotton ball covered lambs wobbling on new legs. We watched bright malachite frogs leap from lily pad to lily pad and got in line for a ride on the back of a checkered giraffe. We watched elephants lumber through their courtyard and koalas scamper into their tree houses. I had been to many zoos, had grown up on a farm, and even held a position in the Animal Rights chapter in my town but this was unlike anything I had ever experienced.

The Kingdom was enormous with so much to see and at the end of the journey we were gifted with a mesmerizing waterfall. Around the flowing rivulet of silk, flew birds of rainbow colors and twittering Monarch butterflies. We sat on tufts of grass near the waterfall entranced by the crisp perfume, the soothing cadence of the falls, and the taste of harmony surrounding us.

We sat in contentment for quite awhile. Our comfortable silence was disconnected by a deep voice.

“The next feast is going to be available for your enjoyment in the basilica. Come at your leisure,” he told us. We thanked him for the invitation and all stood to walk back through the Kingdom for Animals. It seemed as if there was more to see than your mind could comprehend on one visit. I knew that I would have to come back.

Ashley jumped around as she held my hand, talking excitedly about all the animals and flowers. “Mama, did you see the koalas?”

I grinned, “Yes baby. I was with you, remember?”

“That place is something, huh Steph?” Dad asked.

“Yeah, it’s incredible. There’s so much to see, so much to do,” I said.

“I’m so glad you’re here, Mama,” she said kissing my hand.

“I’m glad too honey. Want me to carry you?” I asked trying to sound nonchalant.
She seemed so much older, but at three, she was still my baby girl.

“Yeah!” she jumped up and I put her on my hip. She hugged my neck and kissed my cheek. “You’re so beautiful, Mommy.”

“Ash, did you know that when Mommy was a little girl, she looked just like you- except she had dark hair?” Dad asked.

“Did you?” she asked.

I nodded, “I did. But I didn’t have those bouncy curls or those pretty blue eyes.”

She peered into my face, “Your eyes are the same color as hot chocolate.”

I laughed, “Well that’s a good way to describe it.”

“C’mere, Grandpa,” she said and I stopped walking. From my hip, she took his face in her little hands and examined his eyes. “You have the same eyes as Mama.”

He and I both smiled. “Sure do.”

We walked into the basilica which was lit inside by thousands of twinkling diamond lights. If you didn’t know better, you’d swear you were outside under the stars. I looked around astonished at the amount of food that lay before us. We made ourselves home at a linen covered dining table. Looking around, I couldn’t even wrap my brain around the colossal amount of choices to decide from. There was a myriad of soft, fresh, warm breads to choose from; plus parmesan with roasted garlic oil to dip them in. There were baskets of ripe fruit; plums, peaches, kiwi, black cherries and red strawberries. Steaming pots of lobster, crab legs on ice, stuffed shrimp on crisp lettuce leaves all enticed us. Under silver platters we found thick, juicy steaks hot off the grill accompanied by mushrooms and onions. There was food from every country, every nationality, and every ethnic background imaginable. There were wines, soda, coffees, waters, and teas to choose from. Anything your heart desired, anything your taste buds hungered for, it was all there.

I laughed when I looked around our table at the difference in our plates. My plate held some Italian bread and dipping oil, Portobello and spinach ravioli, stuffed mushrooms, sushi, and fruit. Ashley began her feast with cheese pizza, fried chicken, fruit salad, and baked macaroni and cheese. As for my dad, he’s always been a big eater. He had piled steak, baked potato, asparagus, lobster, and bread on his plate. Decadence had never been more blissful.

As we began savoring our entrees, I looked around the table. We were sitting down having a real family dinner, just like I had always dreamed of doing. I was part of a family again. My eyes filled with tears for just a moment and Ashley immediately noticed.

“What’s wrong, Mama?”

I smiled at her. “Nothing, baby. I’m just so happy to be with you and Grandpa again. I missed you while I was away.”

“Want a bite of my pizza?” she asked holding it out.

********
The wind blew fiercely forcing the trees to sway against their will. Everyone attempted to fit under the tent in an effort to get out of the harsh wind. They pulled their jackets around their chest a little tighter and shuffled restlessly.

“Today we lay to rest Stephanie Nichole Dean. Stephanie’s life was cut short last week as an act of violence took her from us. Everyone that knew her describes her as a friendly person who was always searching for belonging and a family to replace the one she lost so long ago. We know that with God’s will, she is where she belongs and finally has a family to call her own…

******
“So, Dad,” I whispered across the table, “When do I get to meet Him?”

Before he had a chance to answer, a chair was pulled out from the table and He sat down. Ashley jumped out of her chair and ran to give him a hug.

”Jesus! This is my mom!”

He smiled at her as he kissed her head, “I know, Ashley. She is my child.”

“Just like me and Grandpa,” she answered.

I stood on unsteady legs and he opened his arms to me. “Welcome home, my child. Welcome home.”