Shimmy

I am a memory. I am a thought. I am that feeling that fades before you want it to. I can't be erased. I can't be replaced. Because I am gone before I was here. I see people for what they are whether they have come to terms with themselves or not. I discard people for what they lack or for the lies they tell themselves to make up for what they lack. I know your contradictions. I know your pain. I know your vice, your candy, your crutch. I am dettached from this society that you blanket yourself in. I am dettached from anything and everyone. I free float away from it all. Watching all of the little games you play. These people I've carressed... I wonder what they think of me and the aftermath I left them in? Are they fond wishes or poisonous kisses? Not that I care to do a follow up friendship.....Thats like sloppy seconds with so much more of a mess. Rekindle? Kindle-kindling-firewood.... Burn the bridges let it go... Sweet release. Bittersweet bitterness. Word play play on words in the playgrounds. Fenced in and secure. Fencing in our children in their playpens, fencing in the convicts in the pens... play pens and pens.. any difference?Play on words see the words play? Rewind itto the future of the beginning lost in the past that I live today.Feed the need, need the weed, spiffy spliffs all in a row..... My clock is ticking but never makes a sound. I am losing ground but gaining nothing. I stand at the edge, the edge of everythingand the words don't come. I stand at the edge and am disappointed by the lack of anything to see. I thought I saw a glimmer once, a light, a possibility of something that could bloom and grow.. the reality is its all piss, shit and heartbreak, covered in so much ash. Desolation and bleekness that could make a soul extinguish. The cut is bleeding. I bleed to feel, I cut to bleed. Do I feel? Does it feel? I have lost that sanity. I am beyond that pain now I have graduated, I have transgressed....How can I live without feeling how do I digest the daily? How have I become automated to the point of not giving a fuck about anyhting? I am Origami fold me up lets play pretend.
I am so much more than you could fathom, I am so much more than you can comprehend, I am so much more than you can handle. I am so much more than I let anyone know.