A Sense-Less Trial

I reach out with
these gloved hands
In this darkness,
and feel nothing.

I don't remember
choosing them...
to protect me?
My fingertips
are non-sensed.

My nose is plugged
so I smell nothing.
I taste blandness
and can only hear
My own inner questions.

How did this happen?
"I chose not to feel."
Why would you numb yourself?
"Because life was so painful."

My stunned inquisition
To myself, on trial now -
I am my own prosecuter
and my only defense.

"How do you plead?"
I ask myself -
as I'm the judge,
and the jury, too:

"Guilty as charged."