jenny's jaw

Jenny’s Jaw

By Jeremiah Martin
2006

            I walk in and he’s on the phone. He doesn’t look angry exactly, just tired. Maybe a hint of disappointment, a tiny, tiny sliver. I fake a yawn and my anxiety comes down a notch. Then our eyes meet and there it is. There’s the rage I woke up expecting to see. It’s coming off him like fumes from a leaking propane tank.  Honestly, it would probably be better if he was disappointed with me. I‘m sure it would be a much more effective disciplinary tactic. I would be overcome with guilt and vie never to let him down again, rather than cracking my knuckles and readying myself to match him shout for shout. And I’m positive that his weak heart would be much better off broken and sad, than working hard to produce the blood it takes to redden his big pink scowling face. Yeah, I don’t think that anger is the way to go here, but it’s his way. It’s my way. There’s no use trying to fight it with reason or sound judgment. Because in a few minutes we won’t even be thinking, we’ll just be reacting to whatever the other one is screaming.
            He sets the phone down. “Do you have something you want to tell me about last night?”
            Shit. My mind works fast. Worst case is that he was just talking to some faction of law enforcement. Best case is he found out I swiped his Wild Turkey from the garage. Either way I’m some degree of fucked.
“Nope.” I say
“Don’t be a smart-ellick David.”
I roll my eyes and say nothing.
“Why don’t you tell me why you would lay your hands on a girl.” He shakes his head, then adds, “Only a man afraid of other men hits women, David.”
“Whatever man, this is bullshit. I’m leaving.” I say and turn to go.
“David you get the hell back here right now, I’m not through with you young man.” He says with theatric force.  I stop.
The fact that my father the Methodist just said the word hell when it wasn’t directly dictated from the bible illustrates the seriousness of my situation. My father, even though he thinks it is well within his Christian rights to sit up all night killing bottles of brown whiskey, is sternly against foul language. This marks the first time in my 18 years that I have ever heard him curse. And I saw him shatter his thumb with a hammer, and get bitten by a raccoon, not to mention the time I tried to tint the windows in his truck with black spray paint. All of those incidents ended profanity free, but this little thing brings the bad words out of the flawless man. Go figure.
“What’d she say? What’d she say I did?  ‘Cause I didn’t hit her, not really.” I say. He lowers his head and messages the bridge of his nose.
“So it’s true then?”
“Depends.” I say, forever the smart-ass.
He stares at me like I just told him he has cancer or something and for a split second a horrible sadness comes over his face. But I kill that emotion with a stabbing smile and his eyes tighten into an irate stare.
“There is nothing funny about any of this, David. This is a very serious situation, you could go to jail!”
“No way! Not possible. They got nothing on me.”
“That’s not what I’ve been told.”
“Well, you have been misinformed.”
“The girl has been seriously hurt, and there are witnesses.”
”What? Hell no. Who told you that?” I am a little worried that my own foul mouth has yet to generate a reaction. So far he has remained on task.
“Mr. Harris called me about thirty minutes ago, told me everything.”
“How could he tell you everything when he doesn’t know anything…let me guess he’s pretty pissed.”
“David, that’s his little girl, he’s more than just mad. He wants to kill you. And who can blame him after what you did.”
“It wasn’t that bad Dad, really.”
Then to himself he says. “I just don’t know what I did wrong, I thought I raised you right, I just don’t know what happened.”
“That’s right, what did you do wrong, because it’s always about you isn’t it?!” I say trying to push the argument down a more familiar and comfortably volatile path.
“No son this is about you, it’s all on you.” He responds, not taking the bait.
            “Well the bitch deserved it, Get Eric alone without that cunt Beth and he’ll tell you. She asked for it!”
            “I can’t believe what I’m hearing.” he says sounding defeated hours before he should. Then with what I would swear are tears in the corners of his eyes he says “Just go to your room David.”
            I take a bold leap trying to stir him up. “Fuck that, I’m leaving.”
            “You go any where but upstairs and there will be two kids with broken jaws on this block.” He says as calmly as he would give the time to a passing neighbor.
            “What-“
            “Just go.”
            “Fine.” I say and walk quietly up the stairs, heading straight for the cigar box in the back of my closet.
That bitch, she had to go and run her mouth. It wasn’t that bad. Her dumbass probably tripped on the way home. Hell her old man probably did it himself because she was out so late and obviously not adhering to proper Christian behavior.  I don’t really care what happened after, but whatever it was she’s a whore and I’m sure she deserved it.
            I lean out my window overlooking the back yard, shielded from the neighborhood by an old elm tree, and hit my pipe. The marijuana is top notch and three hits later I’m on another planet. But leaving earth does not give me the escape I crave; in fact the pot has my brain working twice as hard to get half as far. I almost kill my buzz going through every possible disastrous consequence. But it’s not guilt, its dread. I was in the right I know that, but that don’t mean I won’t get fucked when all is said and done.
What I need is a distraction.
I refresh my high with a few short hits and a long draw that I hold in until my chest jumps under my shirt and smoke leaks out of the corner of my mouth. With heavy eyes I put my Neil Young record on the old record player that sits in the corner on the floor. Then I throw off my clothes and lay back on my bed. I have “Harvest” on CD, but I like it better on the scratchy vinyl, especially when I’m stoned. I plug my huge headphones into the machine and pop them onto my head. I am immediately comfortable, and the inescapable delivery of the music directly into my brain is just what I needed. I crank it up and listen to every syllable. I concentrate on every individual word, trying hard to distance my mind from what may be waiting on me when I finally do go back down stairs. Half way through the first song, I’m chin deep in Neil’s lyrics, and last night is miles away. The last thing I remember is singing along to “A man needs a maid”
Hell yeah.
Just someone to keep my house clean, fix my meals and go away.
Ain’t that the truth.
Two hours later I wake up and walk out into the hallway to see if my dad’s truck is still there. It is, and it’s four-o’clock, which means he’s not going to work tonight. Which means something important is keeping him home. I go back into my room, shut the door and crawl back into bed. I don’t know if I can sleep this day into tomorrow but I’m certainly going to give it a try. I have a quick meeting with myself and narrowly decide against more weed. Instead, I reach over and turn the fan on high then pull the cover over my head. Five minutes in the artificial darkness and I’m dreaming about dogs barking and eating raw meat off of my stomach. But at least I’m asleep.
“DAVID! WAKE UP! DAVID!!”
I pry my eyes open and my father’s fist sounds as if it’s beating against my forehead rather than my bedroom door.
“AAAllllriiiight!!!” I scream
“Get dressed and get downstairs.”
I don’t get dressed.  I put on some boxers and some flip-flops and leave my room scratching all the places that seem to need scratching the second you wake up. When I get downstairs my father is waiting on the couch with a serious look on his always-serious face.
“What now?” I say
“Well, Mr. Harris and I have come to an agreement. We have decided on a punishment that will teach you a lesson, keep you out of jail and at the same time give him the justice that he deserves.” He says
Before I ask what it is I see two men standing in the back yard through the kitchen window. The old man has his belt wrapped around his right hand with about eight inches of it hanging from his clenched fist. “What the hell?”
“Go on now, David get what’s coming to you son.”
“You can all go to hell. I didn’t do nothing! I didn’t hit that bitch!”
“I don’t believe you. Now go in the back yard. We’ve discussed it, they won’t hurt you too bad, nothing permanent.  Now go on.”
“Fuck you Gary.” I say. My dad’s name is Gary
“Would you rather go to jail?”
“Maybe.”
“Trust me you’d be the girl taking the beatings.”
“Well, you’d know” I say trying again to buy the time of an argument. It doesn’t work. He says nothing, just looks at me sincerely and motions for me to go out and get the shit kicked out me by a pissed off retired steelworker and the shaved gorilla in a tank top he brought as back up. Fuck that.
“I ain’t goin.”
“I’ll drag you myself if I have to.”
“You can try.”
“Boy, you have no idea what kind of man I used to be, and if I have to let a little of that man out so that you don’t become like him, then I will. And trust me you’d fare much better in the back yard.”
I’ve heard the stories, and I can tell he’s serious, but I don’t move.
“It won’t be that bad, David. I’ll be watching from the kitchen. You need this boy, You need to know your actions have consequences.”
“If you let them do this. I will never forgive you.”
He looks at the floor and says, “I can live with that if it straightens you out…and you should have thought about that before you laid your hands on that little girl.”
That bitch. That whore. This is all her fault. Any man with any balls or pride at all would have done what I done. Any man.
Before I can react his massive hands are on the back of my neck and I’m being pushed through the kitchen towards the back door. “I’ll fight back! I won’t make it easy!” I struggle to yell
“You may be built like a man, but you’re a boy, and a boy will always loose to a man in a fight. Always.”
“Then why is there two of ‘em?!” I ask, as he kicks open the door and tosses me down the two steps and into the back yard. He scratches his beard and replies, “Because this isn’t really a fight, it’s a lesson in life disguised as a fight.”
Then he slams the door and I am left alone with Jenny’s father and his big as shit buddy. I didn’t even have time to use the heavy artillery on my father. If I’d have just accused him of running my mother off, that would have certainly bought me a few minutes and insured me a more peaceful night by sending him into the bottle a few hours early.
Jenny’s father steps forward and throws his cigarette to the ground. “Here’s the big man. The tough guy.” he says and swings the belt at my face. It connects and I go down. He circles me twice, breathing hard through his mouth and I wonder why he hasn’t hit me again. He lets me stand and I instinctively put up my fists, ready to go. He comes close. I am scared. He leans back to punch me, I wince and he kicks me in the groin. I fall.
“You broke her jaw.” He pauses and looks through me with so much hate, I strongly consider shooting to my feet and running for my life. “You hit my little girl with a closed fist, you little piece of shit.”
I roll over and try to crawl to safety. He stripes my back twice with the leather and laughs. “Not so tough now is he Billy?”
I don’t catch it right away, possibly because my balls are in my stomach and my back is on fire. All I can say at this point is; “I’m sorry.”
“Fuckin’A right you are” Mr. Harris says. Then the old man opens up the sky and revelation rains down upon the thirsty leaves of my confused and aching body. And this time I catch it.
“Billy, grab him and drag his ass back over here.”
Billy.
“Who’s this, your bodyguard or your boyfriend?” I ask the old man.
Billy nails me in the right eye while I’m down on all fours and I hit my stomach. I roll over and try to sit up and Billy hits me again, this time in the mouth. I taste blood for the first time since taking a ground ball to the lips in the seventh grade. With my tongue I check for loose teeth. Billy stands still, satisfied.
“This is my son-in-law, and he’s mean as hell. And we’re gonna’ make sure you don’t ever hit no more women.”
“Billy huh?”
“Yeah, so.” Mr. Harris says and kicks me in the stomach. They stand over top of me looking down and they can’t for the life of them figure out why I’m smiling.

                                                      ******

I had been dating Jenny for about a month and I could tell that she was in to me.  Girls like her are easy to read. So, after the movie I drove to a small cemetery about five miles outside of town and parked in the back, out of sight from the road. Beth (Jenny’s friend) and her boyfriend Eric started going at it almost immediately in the back seat.  Which put the purpose of our seclusion in the air, and Jenny shifted with excitement. She looked at me like she wanted me with her bottom lip in her teeth. Then she pulled at the neckline of her blouse just enough so that I could see her heart pendant resting in the valley between her breasts. I started her way, she started mine and our mouths met somewhere near the rearview mirror. We began to kiss heavily. First, I pinned her to the seat then she pushed me against the door, the entire time my hands were given free rein to explore.  She pulled off my shirt, then unbuttoned and slid out of hers. We kissed for maybe two more minutes before I unhooked her bra with an expert snap of my fingers. When the bra came off her eyes went big with surprise, like she couldn’t believe what I’d just done. But she attacked me more ferociously with her tongue, arching her back so as not to deny me access to my newly freed prizes by pressing them against me. She wanted me to touch them, and when I did, she moaned and lightly bit my ear. Still cheek to cheek I danced my finger up her thigh and brushed her underwear with my knuckles. Again, she moaned and nibbled on my ear, this time with deliberate hot breath. Green light to proceed.  When my right hand touched the soft bristly hair directly beneath her panty line, she whispered the incendiary words that sparked our explosive evening.
“Yes, Billy…”
She didn’t even notice it. It was automatic; Hand between her legs equals “yes, Billy.”  I had wandered into another man’s front yard, but it was supposed to be my house. I was more than a little pissed.
“What?” I asked sitting abruptly up.
“I don’t know, What?” She said wondering why I stopped.
“What did you just call me?”
“What do you mean?”
“Well, bitch,” Eric and Jenny stopped and focused their attention on the front seat. “You called me Billy.” I said, getting everyone was up to speed.
“I did not.”
“Don’t even try that shit, you called me Billy. I heard it. Who is he, some fag from your school?”
“Billy?… Oh my god Jenny!” Beth said in disgust.
“Whatever Beth, OK.” Jenny whined
“Yeah, whatever… but Billy? I fucking knew it!  That’s low.” Beth said and rushed out of the car. Eric followed and I saw in the dome light that my dick is about twice the size of his.
“What does that mean…What does she mean.” I demanded
“I don’t know. God, relax your acting like a fucking idiot.” Jenny said tilting her head like I was the world’s most prominent asshole.
I grabbed her by the hair and brought her face close to mine. The back door was still open and Eric and Beth were standing watching everything from about five feet away. “Tell me who he is. I’m serious, I’m not messing around with you. I want to know whore, and I want to know right now!”
“Why?” She asked admitting her fault and not arguing that she is a whore.
“So I can find him and fuck him up.”
“I really doubt that.” She said and smiled. Yeah, I got her by the hair and she laughed in my face. It was a little creepy how comfortable she seemed to be in that position.
“Get out…Get the hell out of my car.”
“What? No… You’re crazy.”
I opened my door and dragged her, screaming, across my lap by her hair. Eric yelled at me to calm down and I told him to mind his own fucking business. When she was over my knees like a child ready to be spanked, I took her by the back of her skirt and tossed her out into the gravel. She tried to get back in and I pushed her backward to the ground. Her tiny breasts looked pitiful as she stared up at me in disbelief. I got out and stood over her, she held up her dusty palms and whimpered, “Don’t.” I flinched at her with my fist balled up and all three of them jumped. Eric took a half step toward me. I just pointed at him and stared. He wilted. Then I kicked the back door closed.
  The formerly happy couple from the back seat was too shocked to move, let alone realize they were about to be left in the middle of nowhere. I had no pity for them, they were Jenny’s friends not mine, which meant at that time they were the enemy.
When I hopped in and took off, Jenny screamed and ran after me. But I put my foot to the floor and roared down the gravel lane. I stopped once I was on the main road to throw her shirt and bra out the window. I waited for almost a minute and then I saw her running, tinted red by my brake lights and it hit me that I should have just ignored it, stored it and fucked her anyway. Then my revenge could have been never calling her again and maybe the spreading of a few nasty rumors regarding her hygiene. But the sad truth was that I liked her and she hurt me, and I vowed long ago, that I would never, ever allow a woman to hurt me again.
 
                                                              wwwww
So much for that vow, I thought as I took another boot to the stomach. It hurts but I talk anyway, “So he’s your son in law, huh? That means he’s your daughter’s husband? Jenny’s sister?” I rise up from all fours to my knees. I try to stand, but Billy pushes me back down.
“He’s Jenny’s family and that’s all you need to worry about.” The old man says and slaps me across the face like an unruly wife. I spit blood in Billy’s direction then say, “It wasn’t me, all I did was throw her out of my car.”
“Liar.” Billy says and kicks me in the back, again I fall on my palms.
“I’m not lying, I swear. Ask Beth or her boyfriend, they were there.”
“Yeah, yeah yeah, I know all about that, you little shit. Pull my little girl’s shirt off then toss her in the street like a common whore, You’re a coward.” I contain my laughter, and even manage not to smile or even look remotely smug. Instead I look him dead in the eye and plead my innocence again.
“No just listen, I didn’t hit her. I pushed her, and I know I shouldn’t have, but there’s no way her jaw was broken when I pulled out of that cemetery. No way.”
“No shit,” Mr. Harris screams, “you think you got it all figured out, don’t you. You actually think you can talk your way out of this? I know what you did you little bastard. It was when she came back here later on, to make up. That’s when you hit her.” He seems to visualize the scene and his face goes red. He kicks me in the shoulder, and mumbles “Son of a bitch.”
The boot to the shoulder rolls me over onto my back, I sit up then struggle to my feet, “Bullshit.” I say and the old man punches me in the chest. I stumble back but proceed. “I came straight home and passed out. Ask my dad, he ain’t been in bed before 4 a.m. in ten years. No way I could have beat Jenny up and him not hear it. No way she came in this house with out him seeing her. Ask him”
Jenny’s father looks at me, like I’ve struck a chord. Like she’s lied before. I can see in his face that he’s questioning himself.
“Wanna know why I threw her out of my car?” I ask smiling at Billy.
“Fuck this lying prick.” Billy says and punches me in the nose, shattering it and spraying him with blood, bone and tiny bits of cartilage. I go straight back to the ground cupping the blood that is pouring from my nose in my hands, until it’s running down my arms and dripping from my elbows. Then I hear the Star Spangled Banner.  I look up through watery eyes and see the misty image of Mr. Harris hurrying to the back gate with his cell phone pressed to the side of his head. I look down and the grass is black with blood. I wonder where my father is, and if he is actually just standing and watching me bleed by the gallon onto the lawn. Then there’s a voice in my ear. It’s Billy.
He puts his hand on my shoulder and talks low, not a whisper but so that only I can hear him. “Listen, it’s pointless what you’re trying to do. There’s only three people on this planet that know you didn’t break Jenny’s jaw, and two of them will swear on the bible that you did. You fucked up, buddy.  You went off on her, acted like a crazy man in front of them other two kids and the plain truth is it just don’t fucking matter whether or not you that knocked that little bitch out, you draw the heat. You think I’m going to let you ruin my life, ruin my wife’s life and embarrass the whole family. You think Jenny’ll back you up knowing what’s at stake, admitting she’s a slut and a home wrecker. I think not.” He looks behind him to make sure the old man is not coming. “ Listen you have nothing to gain from finishing your story. You keep your mouth shut and we go home soon, you tell the old man what happened in the car and not only will I fuck you up some more today, but I’ll be back day after day after day. Think about it, he’s not going to believe you anyway. His mind is made up. And hell, you did lay your hands on her, so you do kind of deserve this.”
“Fuck you.” I say with blood in my mouth like warm melted ice cream.
“You brought this on yourself. You freaked out and she came running over to warn me, she got loud and she got hit. It’s sucks but she was out of line, and so were you.  You got no credibility man. She says you did it, and there’s no one but you saying you didn’t.  You want this to go away, then shut up and take your ass-whippin like a man.” He pats me on the head and I fall over. I hear the screen door on the back porch slam shut, and Mr. Harris saying that I looked like I had enough. In my head I wrestle with what to do. My pride says fuck Billy; tell the world, but everything else says fold, curl up in a ball, and hope they leave me alone. Despite the fire in my belly to endeavor, I give up and lay still.  The first of many deaths my pride would endure.
  uuuuuuuu
My life has changed drastically since that day in the back yard. I never act or speak without first dissecting the actions or the words and pondering every possible consequence. I swallow my anger whenever it emerges. I am polite and courteous.  I smile and say yes ma’am and yes sir and I do favors even when they are an inconvenience to me. I appear happy and balanced and all there. Of course one day when they find Billy’s body no one will suspect me, because by then, everyone will think I’m too nice a fucking guy to do that to someone with a hammer. I guess you could say I learned my lesson.
THE END