This is a short story about an eighteen year old girl leaving her family home. |
Awake Stephanie Grey had just turned eighteen in August, but tonight she felt like a frightened six year old. Her fear felt palpable like flood water rising, ready to drown her mind. The bold face clock on the wall read 1:00 am and Stephanie still sat in her parents close kitchen. She wore a white shirt and pink apron covered in grease from the hotel café where she worked as a waitress. Her long green polyester skirt itched like a rash. Her legs ached from the exertion of her twelve hour shift at the Madison Hotel. She froze listening to the newscast, glued to the small black and white television screen, turned down low. Channel seven reporters talked about a double homicide. “In Rahway today, a father murdered his daughter by stabbing her to death with a large knife. Next, he murdered his wife with a blunt object. The motive was unknown.” Stephanie shivered. His rage. That father murdered his daughter and his wife because he lost control of his rage. Stephanie thought about her own fathers rage and once again fear crept into her. He could kill her. How close had he come to murdering her mother or her like that father on television? His beatings of mom were getting worse again. Stephanie had witnessed some of the abuse from the age of thirteen. Dad tried to choke her mother to death. He let her fall out of his grip just as she passed out. She survived. Stephanie had been terrified of him ever since. She buried the fear that he could commit murder. She had to live with him and she could not function with this realization on a daily basis. The tension in the household heightened her fear. No longer could she keep it buried. He had never hit her, but her mother did continuing the cycle of violence in their household. Stephanie stopped, her mind spun like a top. Still scared, angry and lightheaded she took a deep breath. She attended Calwel University and felt desperate to stay in school recognizing that she needed a plan. Her parents paid her first semester’s tuition and then told her they would not pay for the rest because it was too expensive. Her mom didn’t want her to go to school because she didn’t want to be alone with dad, especially at night. If I could just live on campus. Her job would pay for books and living expenses but not housing and tuition. The next step was going to Calwel’s financial aide office for help. She worried that the financial aid office, would not believe the truth. Perhaps they would not even care. Stephanie stood and turned off the TV. hoping to reach her room without waking the sleeping reptiles. She took off her bulky black shoes and carried them in her hand, quiet as a cat passing her parents room. Their door stood ajar. Stephanie opened her bedroom door and closed it. Mother yelled, “Bitch , if I told you once, I told you twice do not wake me up when you come into this house.” “Thump” It sounded like mother threw something at her bedroom door. Stephanie would not be surprised. Yesterday, she threw a steak knife at Stephanie in the kitchen because she was in a mood. The knife missed and stuck in the wall. Tonight Stephanie just prayed mother’s loud shout did not wake her father. He should be good and passed out at this time of night. She could never tell how deeply he slept. He was unpredictable. Stephanie shrugged out of her clothing in the dark. She didn’t turn on the light or go into the bathroom to brush her teeth. She slipped into her long white tee-shirt and got under the covers hoping her mother would settle down and go to sleep. The next morning the blare of her alarm clock awakened Stephanie. Six am. She had slept three hours. Her mind raced. She needed to get into the financial aid office to talk to a counselor before it got really crowded. She grabbed some jeans and a grey sweat shirt to wear over white underwear and a pink under wire bra. Socks and a worn pair of Nikes followed. Again she slipped past her parent’s door and into the bathroom to brush her teeth, take a quick shower and get dressed. She skipped breakfast and got out without waking her parents. She ran to the bus stop for the 6:20 bus that made all the stops. Stephanie reached Calwel College at exactly 7:00am, when the financial aid office opened. Stephanie breathed a sigh of relief. The financial aid officers were not even at their windows yet. Which financial aid officer would she tell her story to? She scanned their names posted on plaques above the windows, but that told her little about who would be most helpful. God, would care about all the shit she was going through? They probably would say tough luck kid. What do you want me to do? Jesus, please help. She approached the first one to come to a window. “Mr. Rodriguez, my name is Stephanie Blake. I’m a full time student here at Calwel College and I have a problem. My parents have decided that they are no longer willing to pay for my tuition next semester. I’m a really good student and I want to stay in school. Can you help me?” “Why isn’t your parent’s willing to pay? Are they having financial difficulty? We have financial aid packages. Have they applied?” Crying, Stephanie said “it’s not that. It’s a long story. My parents are abusive to me and to one another. They have been for a long time. I think they just don’t want me to go to college. I think my mother wants me to stay home and take care of her because she’s afraid of my father. Mr. Rodriguez looked at Stephanie as she cried and then invited her into his inner sanctum. He offered her a tissue. “Stephanie, I believe you. There is a way that you can apply to become an independent student. I can help you. You have to work full time and get your own place to stay. Can you do that? Can you move out on your own?” Stephanie stopped crying. She dared to hope. She quickly nodded already making plans to ask for more hours at work, anything to get out of living with her parents. “Thank-you, Mr. Rodriguez you have no idea what you’ve just done for me. I honestly didn’t think I could stay in school. I thought it was hopeless.Thank- you.Thank-you so much.” “Don’t thank me yet. You have a lot of work to do. Lots of paperwork to fill out. You have to find your own housing and bring me proof of a full-time job.” At least now I have your help and hope. |