Alone in Paris part two (title pending)

I knew I would have to tell JP and Rena sometime. They were my housemates, so I couldn’t keep it from them. Better now than later. No reason to wait.

“Rena, JP, can I talk to you for a second?” I wasn’t sure why I asked. We were the only ones at the dinner table.

“What is it, dear?” Rena asked. Scooted away from our previous conversation and clearing my plate.

“Yes, what?”

“Well, I-” I wasn’t going to beat around the bush. I tried not to hesitate. “I’m pregnant.”

“Oh! That’s the best news I’ve heard in a while! That, paired with the news of a new tenant makes this the best day I’ve had in a while!” JP was extremely happy, as was Rena. They showered me in congratulations all the while never asking a single question. They were private people, I found out when I tried to ask them about personal lives, and I guess they felt I deserved to be treated with the same respect they enjoyed.

“New tenant?” I asked.

“Yes, he is from the states, just like you!” Rena said. “He’s a man about your age, I guess from his voice,” that made no sense to me, “and he’s an art student just like you!”

“Good! Maybe he can help me find some inspiration in this place. I don’t think, besides a trip or two to the store, I’ve been outside this building!” But I couldn’t stop myself from thinking about the conversations I had had with my mom about Andrew and faithfulness. I felt I had already cheated on him. I needed to call him immediately.

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“Hello?”

“Hey, baby! It’s Jenna!”

“Hey. I’m expecting a call from Tony. He’s supposed to call me. It’s real important. Can I call you back?”

“Do you have this number?”

“No I’ll call your mom and get it when I’m about to call.”

“Okay?” I said with confusion.

“Love you, bye.” I didn’t have a chance to return the salutation.

“Bye.” I said aloud to myself. What was his deal? Tony was so much more important to him than me? Why? I had to be dreaming. With this latest development and the pregnancy. That day seemed so surreal.

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Surprise, surprise! No call back from Andy. I knew, even though I didn’t want to, what I had to do. “Andy?”

“Yeah. What is it baby? I’m sorry about last night. It’s just that Tony was inspired-”

Something welled up inside me. I didn’t want to listen to any of his excuses anymore. This one, so far, didn’t even sound like a good one. “Listen, Andy, I’m so sick of all your bull. It really makes me tired. I’m really far away from home. I have been for four days. You don’t even have a number to reach me at, I’ve called you twice, and both times, you’ve practically hung up on me before two minutes was up. What is going on?”

I could hear his speechlessness. “I’m sorry, but-”

“No more buts. This time, I’m hanging up on you!” I slammed the phone down and immediately began crying. Then, I played some Kelly Clarkson lyrics in my head over and over. I wiped my tears and looked in the mirror. Who was I? Just a week ago, I couldn’t even tell my boyfriend that I didn’t want his dang brother to go on dates with us, and now, I was telling him off and hanging up on him. I kind of liked it, but losing your mind is bittersweet.

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“He’s here!” Rena’s enthusiasm was apparent. She loved having guests. This guy was to stay here for a year as well. I was intrigued at the idea of an artist from the states coming to stay, but I wasn’t too intrigued. I wasn’t going to go down and meet him at the door or anything. He’d just have to find out about me at dinner. That is, if he didn’t opt out of it. I half-way chuckled at this thought.

Being alone in a room just bigger than a one-bedroom apartment for almost a week was enough to make anyone stir crazy, and I was really itching for some sightseeing. I was shocked at myself. Here I was in one of the most beautiful countries in all the world for about a week, and I’d been cooped up, by choice, mind you, the whole time. I was reconsidering not going down to say hello. Maybe we would sightsee together before dinner.

Walking down the stairs, I saw his figure at the door. He was tall with dark hair and a nice body. He was carrying three suitcases, and that was it. The lighting was horrible, but I was already crushing. He could’ve been a dogface, and I wouldn’t have known--or cared.

When he finally stepped out of the shadow the bookcase was casting, I gulped, gasped, freaked and ran back to my room unnoticed. No way! Why hadn’t Andy just opened his chicken mouth and told me Tony was coming? Maybe I didn’t give him a chance? I couldn’t remember, but that wasn’t important anyway. I was to be here with my boyfriend’s brother for a year, all the while getting fatter and fatter as my pregnancy progressed. This was quite a problem.

He would have to find out I was here eventually, but how would I act? Should I tell Rena and JP not to tell him about my pregnancy? Had they already? Fear rose up in my gut like somebody was in there rubbing the lining of my stomach with a toothpick. I nervously picked at a hangnail. Man, that hurt.

“Jenna! Come down and meet the new guest!” Thanks Rena.

I waltzed down the stairs trying to look natural, but I wasn’t quite sure I was accomplishing that. When I got to where he knew I could see him because he could see me, I tried to replay some of the shock I had experienced just minutes earlier, minus the fear. “Tony! What are you doing here?” Should I hug him?

He answered that with a warm yes by taking my in his arms. “Hey! I didn’t know I’d be at the same inn as you! You inspired me to do an independent study in France!” What’re the odds?

“Wow. Well, I’m glad you’re here,” I had lied. “I need a little help getting started, and there’s no one else I’d rather work with on this than you!” He smiled. I had truthed. “Well, Andy tried to keep me at home, but I told him I was fine!” He didn’t seem to know my secret. Either that, or he still hadn’t put two and two together.

“Yeah, he’s been really worried about you lately.” It was then that I realized we were all just standing there, Rena and JP included, with us as the show. “Uh, here, let me carry one of those bags.”

“Never. I’ve got it. My grandpa would smack me for letting a lady work so hard!” Italians!

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I was sitting on my bed just after getting ready for breakfast the next morning. Should I ask Tony to go sightseeing with me? Then, I thought about the other things that had happened in the past couple of days. I was pregnant. There was no way around it.

When Jessica initially suggested that I give my baby up for adoption and act like it had never existed, I was shocked. It wouldn’t work, would it? I mean, it couldn’t be that easy. Suddenly, while still contemplating breakfast, everything hit me. I was going to be a mother. Just a week ago, I was a daughter. Now I was a mother. The whole world was spinning around my head.

I couldn’t keep this from my mother. There was just no way. I’ve told her everything forever. How could I begin lying right now? I knew it would be nearly impossible, but my desperation was greater than my loyalty. Plus, if I told Mom, she would make me tell Andrew, and I would probably be trapped with him forever.

I began to feel trapped. My throat was closing up and my hands were getting numb. It was either spend the rest of my life with Andrew (whether married to him or not) or give up my baby. Those were my choices. Abortion wasn’t a question, and I really didn’t want to do the whole adoption thing, but I wanted to be with Andy less. I knew what I had to do. Once again, I dug my French-English dictionary out of my pillowcase and got the phonebook from the bedside table.

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“Jenna. Open the door, it’s me, Tony.”

“Hold on a sec!” I hung up the phone (luckily I was finished with what I was arranging), and ran to the door. “Hey!” I said eagerly swinging open the door.

“Hey.” His tall frame pushed into the room. “What have you been doing since you got here?” He asked as he sat down in what was becoming my Guest Chair. I was really nervous. He was sitting right next to the trash can that held my empty pregnancy-test box.

Why hadn’t I put it somewhere else? What was I, stupid? “Nothing much yet. I’ve just been relaxing the past few days. What about you? You really came on short notice, didn’t you?”

“Well, yeah. Andrew was driving me crazy.” Despite the revealing garbage that Tony could spot at any time with a turn of his head, I was beginning to feel more comfortable. It was like times before Adrienne died.

“Yes, how is Andrew?”

“Good, I guess. When he told me the news, I couldn’t believe it.”

What was talking about? Our little spat? Did he call Tony to talk about it? “Which news?” I said with a laugh.

“About you guys. About you guys breaking up.”

I was floored. What?!? I had to pretend to be in-the-know to find out what was going on back home. “Oh, yeah. Well, it was…” He was always one to try to finish a sentence wherever someone left it hanging.

“It was going nowhere. You guys had chemistry, but that wasn’t enough. Personally, I think you deserve more.” There was promise in his pretty, brown puppy eyes.

“Well, is he doing okay?” I knew he’d get what I meant.

“Yeah, he’s got this new girl. She’s, um…”

“She’s what?” I crossed my fingers. Please say ugly, please say ugly, please say ugly.

“She’s like a supermodel.” Dang! “She’s tall and tanned and too skinny. It’s kind of sickening. I told him I didn’t like her and that I was going to Paris. Not because I didn’t like her, but because I needed to get out of town for a while. Out of the house my wife died in.”

“Yes, I understand.”

“Yes, and he told me not to stay here, so I figured you were staying here, so this is where I went.” We laughed. “I swear, sometimes, I would like to strangle him.”

“Me too,” I mumbled, and all this just finalized my decision. I knew what I was doing.

No, I was not planning to kill him, but that might be good for everyone. I would, however, have to tell Tony eventually, so I decided, now, to test the waters.

“Tony, wouldn’t it be weird if Andrew and this supermodel had a baby together?”

“You bet it would be weird! Andrew as a dad? This leggy skinny, little thing as a mom? Somehow, though, I don’t think it’s that serious. It’s all about the you-know-what!”

I knew-what. “Andrew, do you think Tony would like being a father, or that he would be able to do the job?”

“Maybe. I don’t know. Why all these deep questions?”

What should I say? Should I tell him? Should I come up with some generic reason? “I don’t know. I’m just trying to understand Andy better.”

“But-”

“Do you want to go sightseeing today? I haven’t really been since I got here. I’m pathetic!”

“Sure. We need to get inspired.” He pointed at his t-shirt which was black and simply sated, “GET INSPIRED!” It was the shirt they were giving to all the actors in the play that started it all. I had one myself, but mine actually had more paint on it than his did.

That summer, I had just graduated high school, and had just turned 19. I wanted to be in the play at the theatre downtown. My only competition for the lead role was Adrienne, who was a member of the drama club held in the theatre. Her fiancé, Tony, was the background painter.

Anyway, the lead role did not go to me. Neither did the guy I was sporting for. The day I joined the drama club, the first person I met was Anthony. He was tall, dark, and too-cute-for-words. He needed a shave, but his stubble was another cute flaw. “Hi, I’m Anthony, but no one’s called me that since I was seven.” We laughed. “You can call me Tony. My heart fluttered.

“I’m Jennifer, but no one calls me that except my mom. Call me Jenna. I’m here to try out for the part of Juliet, mostly.”

“Oh, so, then you’ll meet my fiancé, Adrienne. She’s trying for that part, too. Best of luck.” He put out his hand to shake mine and turned the other way.

The day they announced that Adrienne had won Juliet, I wasn’t crushed, but I wasn’t light on my feet either. I had to seem like a good sport. “I want to take you to a congratulations dinner!”

“Okay. Thanks!” She beamed from ear to ear. “I really appreciate that!”

Tony came up and put his arm around her. “Yeah, but honey,” He leaned to her ear level. “what about Andy? He’s been planning dinner with us for a while!”

Adrienne looked at me sheepishly. “Are you single?”